To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

This actually doesn't mean it was meant to be family friendly. It means other families chose to not so their research and bring their kids to the same hotel as you. When I want a couple break away, I don't go to family friendly hotels. When I want a family break, I don't go to hotels not aimed at children. A swimming pool doesn't automatically mean the hotel is geared toward families.

The Village chain are good for this. They're purpose built and put the families in one wing and the business travellers in another! They're self check in too with massive open plan lobbies with a Starbucks, a bar etc and usually sport on telly - no-one hears your kids. They do have family hours in the pool - at least the ones I've stayed in did (N.B. most hotels with pools subsidise them with a membership club hence adult only hours for lane swimming etc).

www.village-hotels.co.uk/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwoeemBhCfARIsADR2QCtyFD0Sa0Qu_yqONyKzPV7hXY22fCBtpZhkvpvVHkgVOdF3Jb7VQ30aAiVdEALw_wcB

Another PP has said it by why didn't you find and stop off at a park nearby and let them run around before you got to the hotel? Of course you can't take them into the pool when it is only adults either, I would have been so cross if I was one of those adults. You know it was more than one squeal in the morning for the neighbouring people to call reception to complain don't you?

It was the Village that I stayed in.
Room was lovely and quiet but the lobby was a nightmare. The breakfast area was open plan next to table football or something like that

@Scottishskifun Gleneagles is an obvious one. I can think of the Blakeney in Norfolk & they definitely aren't just in the south but yes they are not cheap. Just saying they exist.

Choose a family hotel.

You're used to the noise & the mucking about. Other people can't be expected to have the same tolerance especially in shared public space, or at 7am when they're on holidays. It's pretty clear how noisy your DC were of another guest could hear them from a nearby room - being woken at 7am when on holiday by someone else's DC must be very irritating!

Just as a previous thread here where the OP was complaining about being splashed by children when sitting by a hotel pool was told that next time she should go to an adults-only hotel, so you should go to a clearly advertised family holiday hotel.

I do think it’s quite funny that an OP essentially posted the opposite of this thread recently and got told off for not booking an adults only hotel, told that all hotels other than adults only are family friendly, and that noise from kids on summer holidays is completely acceptable even if it interferes with adult guests’ experience at the “spa-like” hotel

A lot depends on the points being made.

Someone posting that they've had to be sat in a room where there's a family enjoying a reasonable family dinner with well-behaved children is probably going to be told that if they want to guarantee zero children/they're going to moan about the existence of children they need an adult only venue.

Equally someone allowing their children to be loud and disruptive in a hotel is going to be told that's not acceptable.

Being family friendly does not equal a place where it's acceptable for parents to allow their children to run wild.

The problem is that some parents seem to think that going on holiday is a holiday from basic parenting.

First of all each to their own. But why would you put your kids to bed at 7:30 and sit in the dark? That's a really strange thing to do on holiday, especially in the summer when it's light until later and things are open. Even if being out is not for you don't you get a takeaway or a drink and watch TV or something?

Good point at @DrCoconut

Same here. No running around in lobbies - absolutely never.

@WouldJustlikeaLatte that sounds like a horrendously stressful experience for you and I am sorry for the flak you are getting here. Your situation is very different from that described by the Op.

Even as a person without children of my own, I would have been understanding to your situation if I was next door and happily moved if I found it impossible to sleep.

In reality I agree with you that your solution was the least disruptive in the circumstances you have described.

Hotels = sharing space with people you would not ordinarily, and who you have not chosen to share that space with or who share the same view of the world as you.

This is why my family holidays for 18years were in self catering. It is a nicer environment for a family with more flexibility.

Even guests in family friendly hotels would expect not to be woken early by noisy children or have children running indoors. The same goes for a noisy adult party late at night or a overly loud guest etc.

It is all give and take - but at the end of the day, in a hotel you are sharing space with a lot of people.

This kind of behavior is why I try to avoid family friendly hotels even when traveling with my child. I’m on edge the whole time making sure that she behaves, but I don’t want to deal with other people not bothering to worry about their children’s behavior or their own.

Pmsl at ‘we’ve been staying at hotels for many years with young dc’ do these children never get older? 🤡😂

Labelling all hotels with the some logic is wrong.

Maybe your kids are not ready for a hotel yet, stick to a self catering holiday cottage or chalet.
…….you don’t let kids run around a hotel lobby irritating other people for a start, teach them some inside voices and manners.

Say you've got 2 kids aged 8 and 13
Say you started going when youngest was a baby.
Perfectly reasonable to say you've been doing it for years

You DO sound a bit "family from hell"-y...

I meant eldest but you get the point

Even family friendly hotels, if they have just one pool, will have adults-only hours. I research the hours before I go (or ask if I can’t see it online). I would never dream of being so entitled so as to ask if my children could paddle during the adults only session.

😂 have you been to gleneagles??? Ignoring the fact its £750+ for a room.

I have (for DH old work event) the only children I saw were in blazers wearing Ralph Lauren clothes and parents were paying for horse riding lessons.
It may have a creche but I wouldn't call it a family destination unless your seriously minted and have a nanny with you.
I was scared to touch anything let alone taking young children there!
At breakfast tables order champagne or bloody Mary's.

OP, yabu. Your kids were obviously annoying other guests. It's your job as a parent to teach them to behave in public spaces.

I really don't think anyone would be arsed to complain about one single squeal, and I don't think two people would get huffy in reception for no good reason. You're clearly underestimating how loud/disruptive they're being.

I get that they're small and that you probably think the sun shines out of their assets. Tbh, that's your job as a parent so fair enough. But other guests have paid to stay at the hotel and don't find your children quite so endearing. Maybe have a little more respect and consideration for others?

Honestly? You sound pretty self absorbed here.

Look at it from the point of view of the other paying guests. It sounds horrible for them (and I’m saying this as a been-there/done-that parent).

You’ll either need to accept it’s the way things are and just rein the kids in a bit but stay in the same type of accommodation, or choose a different type of hotel or holiday accommodation. You’d be fine on a campsite for an example, or chalets in a holiday camp.

If people are away on holiday then they don’t want a 7am wake up call unless they ask for one specifically. And kids running around when there are people wheeling luggage with them can be downright dangerous.

Shared use of the pool between families and non families feels to me like they ARE making allowances for families rather than the other way around. That way everyone gets a turn.

Parents like the OP are the exact reason we always stay in adults-only hotels - and yes, we do have children (adults now and hell would have frozen over before they were allowed to behave in the way the OP described).

@lovewoola are you seriously recommending Gleneagles as a family friendly hotel? I don't know what planet you live on, but it's not the same as mine. And yes I've stayed there!