To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

Well personally when Ds was at that stage I wouldn’t have took him to a hotel. We booked caravans or didn’t go away because I was aware of the impact it would have on others.

i have also been known to drive around in the middle of the night just because I’m aware of my surroundings.

it’s not ideal but it is what it is. People in neighbouring rooms deserve to get a half way decent sleep.

Honestly wish I hadn’t contributed to this thread . We had to travel last minute as my dad was dying so tbh I dont care if @ZeroFuchsGiven wants to judge me. Judge away you can’t make me feel bad I was doing my best in a shitty situation and people like you and the person next to our room that was rude are just ignorant

There maybe loads in the south of England, elsewhere not so many, in Scotland I can only think of Macdonalds resorts and Crieff Hydro. We travel North East Scotland to Norfolk area 3 times a year. Alton towers hotels (Cbeebies etc) are the only one on route (if we take the M6) we have found at about £250-£500 for 1 night.

So we get a Premier Inn etc all of which family room is a single room.

If we are going away in the UK we get an air bnb so that we have a living room to chill out in.

Children shouldn't be running around letting off steam in hotel lobbies.

See also: pubs, supermarkets, DIY stores, airports, trains.

i hope you at least explained to the people you inconvenienced? maybe bought them a drink to say thank you?
Sure in your head it was the easiest way - but you still inconvenienced 4 adults.

At that age, we used to stay in ‘family resorts’. They were hell on earth BUT every single person was in the same boat. There was no way anyone without kids would have subjected themselves to these places, and they were completely set up for kids. A million and one kids running around the dining room, one small spa pool area with pool gate as adults only, and many different pools and toddler water areas for kids of different ages. Kids DJ (I remember one unfortunate trip where Gangum Style seemed to be on repeat consistently), full day of kids activity schedule if not in the pool and kids clubs for different age groups. Every night was family movie night with huge blow up screen, mobile popcorn/Choc tops etc. There was an adults only bar and spa/facial/massage place for when people had the kids in kids club or for one parent to escape.

I was never as pleased as when we aged out these places, but equally would never have contemplated holidaying anywhere else when they were young.

Children running around the lobby is unacceptable. Stop at a play park to let them run off steam, a hotel lobby isn't the place for it.

No-one complains about 1 squeal. Given hotel rooms have tvs in them, if the walls were that thin they would be getting noise complaints constantly. You are probably immune to their volume but I'd be furious being woken by noisy children "around" (which probably means before) 7am.

Hotels aren't the problem. If you take your kids out in public then they need to be able to behave appropriately that they don't spoil it for others or make a nuisance of themselves.

And yes, I do have children. We have been to hotels. They have regard for other people.

I hate staying in hotels with small children, but we have done it. Haven't ever had a noise complaints or anything and I wouldn't let my kids run around indoors while waiting to check in. I'd take them outside, (which obviously only works if we're travelling with dh, so would definitely be more understanding if it was one parent travelling with littlw kids). I'm sure we did make noise in the rooms but never enough to get a complaint.

I wouldn't huff at anyone dealing with boisterous kids on holiday though - I'd just be glad I wasn't having to deal with it tbh! Noise in the rooms is worse though as the people next door can't escape that. But assuming it wasn't when they were trying to sleep I'm not sure it's the end of the world.

The only time I did complain at a hotel was when a wedding was on underneath us and they kept loud music playing late and then drunk guests chatted absolute nonsense outside our window while they waited for cabs until about 2am 😩. Adults can be worse than kids a lot of the time ime.

When I use the leisure facilities in a hotel during adults only time I don’t expect small children to be there. I had the misfortune to be staying in a hotel Sarah Jessica Parker was also staying at. Because it was SJP and she’s like famous nothing was done about her kids running amok. They were feral and she clearly resented other people daring to use the facilities as well

People like @ZeroFuchsGiven can do one tbh. They have fuck all idea what parenting children with disabilities involves. Hint: it's far harder than one night of broken sleep.

Like I said, you'll get used to other people's intolerance for your disabled kid. Sad but true.

One had spoken to us after the first night but I was in a rush, I tried to explain dd has autism but was just told maybe we should have not taken her somewhere that would upset her then

1. I bet your children were causing more of a disturbance than you either lead us to believe or you believe yourself. People don't get up in a huff for nothing. Next time, have one person check in and the other play outside.
2. Again, I suspect you were being louder than expected for the hour and you're not at home. You can't disturb other guests.
3. It is perfectly reasonable to have adult only times at pools.

Not all hotels are like this. You need to research family friendly hotels and stay there instead. But you must never allow your children to run riot. That is not permitted, even at family friendly hotels.

For reference, I stay in hotels frequently with my partner and our child. Never had an issue, whether we're at a luxury hotel or a mid-range hotel from London to Riga. But then my child doesn't run riot and if she wants to, one of us goes with her outside.

Go to the Crieff Hydro.

Hotel walls can be notoriously thin.

On a recent trip to Lytham, my friend and I were treated to heavy sighs and moans from the lady next door at midnight, strangely no male or other female sounds so either she was solo or her partner was strangely silent.

In the example you have given I would expect one parent to take the DCs for a runaround outside whilst the other did the check in. Or if you were solo, take the DCs for a wander before checking in. Yes its a pain and the last thing you want to do after a long drive, but it's what they need.

Ditto in the morning one DP should have been dispatched to take the DCs out for a walk outside. As they are early risers you should already have checked the pool times.

People can be intolerant of DCs, but in both the examples you gave, you could and should have done something about their behaviour.

You've had you arse handed to you OP, quite rightly too (I expect you're finding out how to get this thread deleted now, for "privacy reasons")

The hotel lobby, as others have pointed out is not a place for "letting off steam"

As for causing enough noise at 6-something am on a weekend that it woke next door up. That would make me so cross I can't tell you. I would have complained too.

And you know swimming pools / spas at hotels are usually frequented by people who have paid a shit ton of money to be part of a health club that's not inundated with kids 24/7. They deserve to get what they pay for.

You sound so entitled with your World's First Children attitude, you really do.

I hadn't seen your other update. I am so sorry, about being rude to you when you were in awful circumstances, and for the loss of your father.

Hotels that market themselves ass family friendly are the way to go. And they can be very good too, doesn’t have to be butlins!

Think I've read it all now. You're grudging adult swimmers their measly 90 minutes a day of being able to do actual laps?! You do realize the pandemonium most hotels pools become later on in the day, and you're also aware of their tiny sizes?

How to convey parental overentitlement without ever saying "I'm entitled."

When I use the leisure facilities in a hotel during adults only time I don’t expect small children to be there.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

I used to have a (very expensive) membership of a health club that was part of a hotel. The pool was open to children if they were hotel guests from 9-12 and 2-5 (or something like that, you get the gist).

The AMOUNT of times people would try to insist that it wasn’t fair that little Tabitha and Giles couldn’t use the pool in the adults only time was unbelievable. Occasionally the hotel would relent and let them in, except that was the time that the “serious swimmer” adult swimmers came so the parents complained that there wasn’t enough space for the children to have eleventy billion pool noodles and inflatables and/or they were getting mown down by people doing lengths.

And you could guarantee that those parents were the ones who were so immersed in their phones that they wouldn’t notice if their child was drowning or - on one memorable occasion - actually left the poolside, assuming that all the adult swimmers would keep an eye out, except that they hadn’t noticed (what with having our heads under the water etc) and the child got into difficulties. Fortunately the parent got back in time to hoick their child out, but not without a lot of huffing about everyone else’s failings.

So yeah, combine that attitude with the “only letting off steam” and “playing so quietly that people complained about the noise” and I should imagine OP is one of the parents everyone dreads being around.

It’s ok honestly just was a really shit time. We haven’t gone to a hotel before or after that and really do avoid situations that will be triggering for dd as her meltdowns are so loud it was just the one time we had no other options I think she picked up on my stress on top of everything too

The worst I've ever been disturbed in a hotel was drunk adults who made noise and thought it would be funny to set off the fire alarm at 2am. It's much more forgivable when a child makes a bit of noise.

Did you book a family room? I don't usually stay in hotels with children. It's definitely a more business kind of place.

Hotel reception is not a playground.
No one calls to complain about one squeal.
Adult swimming is just that! The kids can go at family time.
I stayed at a hotel last year which was clearly family friendly. For me the noise and the layout was more like a primary school. Maybe look for somewhere like that. I'll be avoiding it. If I'm paying a couple of hundred pounds for a relaxing weekend i want them to stick to that one or two hours where the kids are not allowed in the pool because i will plan my day round it.

YABU. Adding myself to the chorus of people who have had/do have young children and holiday in suitable places! DS is teen now and we've really enjoyed a few hotel breaks - but only when he reached an age where he could respect the other guests in what is often an incredibly expensive treat for most people.
Self catering/holiday parks etc were the way forward until about 7/8 as was Weatherspoons and not posh restaurants (again expensive treat for most people).
(Some) people do seem to be a lot more self entitled these days (sod everyone else's right to enjoyment) which is a real shame.

Although I can see why the people in adjacent rooms were upset it must have been a really shit time for you and it sounds as though your daughter was very distressed.

Nothing like the entitlement exhibited by the OP.