To not want my kids to drink mocktails or AF beer?

[Thesenderofthiscard]

On holiday with grp of friends - oldest kids are 13, youngest 8.
the 5 teens have been asking for ‘mocktails’ when we’re out at cafes/ restaurants- Virgin bloody Mary’s, Virgin mojitos - and now the little one want them too.

I’m REALLY uncomfortable with this- Have said no to my teen so now I’m the worst parent in the world. I’m not happy with the normalising of drinking = fun or being ‘grown up’ at this age.
ine of the dad’s told me in need to get real, and for an AF beer for his 13 old son.
I ask him if he’d let his son have a ‘fake’ vale or cigarette and all he’ll broke lose.

oh, and not to mention these drinks are €8/10 a pop as they’re meant for no- drinking adults

YABU - lighten up! Let them feel like grown ups

YANBU - They’re too young to be pretending to drink.

Same here.

I remember going to center parcs at 8 or 9 and devouring all the mocktails on the menu. In no way did I want to try and be like the adults drinking alcohol- they were just bloody delicious and fancy looking. AF beer I do feel a bit off about but cannot put my finger on why.

If cost was an issue then I'd buy them one as a treat then it's down to them to use their own money if they want more (I bet they don't) same as I'd by a slush/ice blast etc as a treat despite them being over priced

I hate that girl guides badge! I’m also very resistant to the idea of kids serving adults their drinks - I never like to hear ‘little Freddie has learnt to mix Mummy’s perfect G&T,’ it’s all very Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. I think reasons for holding your own boundaries come from things in your own life, and that’s fine.

Ha. My 4 year old has just spent a week in Spain drinking mocktails. Naturally, I'll be moving her on to a G&T next...

Poor kids, not allowed a fancy fruit juice when they’re on holiday because of a) the price and b) you’re worried they’re only wanting it to ‘look cool and feel grown up’

If you can’t relax and have a treat on holiday, when can you? Also it’s so patronising to suggest they want to feel ‘grown up’, I always cringe when people say that to kids as it couldn’t be more infantilising.

AF beer and mocktails are different. You're putting them together to try to win your argument. And if you're sure of your position, why did you post?

Is it the names of the drinks that you object to? The sparklers? The content? If it didn't say 'mocktails' on the menu, would you object to your DC drinking a mix of fruit juice and fizzy water with a mini umbrella?

I wouldn't be okay with the AF beer, it is far too much like the real thing.

But my teen dc regularly drink mocktails, they are pretty looking drinks that give the illusion of sophistication.

I hope they are also showing my dc that alcohol isn't necessarily needed to enjoy a night or meal out.

Yabu if it is because you think mocktails are the gateway to drinking alcohol. They are just fruit juice. They are not drinking. They are fancy soft drinks.

If your objection is the cost thats fair enough (depending on what you are drinking).

When my son was small he used to love milk shakes which in restaurants are often expensive but I used to let him have them because I was usually having something of equal or greater cost and the meal out/holiday was a treat.

But they give the illusion of sophistication because they are like alcohol!

At the end of the day you're the parent and it's your decision. The dad who had a pop at you sounds like he's insecure with his own parenting choice.

As for "if you were that concerned you wouldn't take your kids out where people are drinking/drink alcohol in front of them" - of course you're allowed to take your own kids to restaurants and have the odd glass of wine in front of them. You're the adult.

‘AF beer and mocktails are different. You're putting them together to try to win your argument.’

no,
I’m putting them together because they were both in the AF drinks menu ( which was separate again from soft drinks menu) and because one of the children had one instead of the ‘ Sin Alcohol Mojito’ and the ‘ Sin alcohol Margarita’

but argument is, as some have said, if anything it normalises NOT drinking when out at a restaurant or cafe, then what’s the difference?

Do you feel the same about the hostess badge as well? That’s serving mum tea and cake rather than soft drinks.

I'm so glad my kids don't have a boring mum. It's juice ffs

Did anyone else drink shandy bass as a kid thinking they were cool? 😆 I still despise beer to this day so definitely wasn't a gateway drink for me.

‘Yabu if it is because you think mocktails are the gateway to drinking alcohol’

it just sits off with me because they’re 13z if they were 16/17 I’d feel differently. In fact I’d be applauding the choice of AF over the alcohol they could actually legally have where we are.

I do t really see why alcohol free beer is different? It’s just a drink same as fruit juice or soft drinks. Many teens start on spirits with mixers so are you encouraging that by letting them have a coke? A lot of AF beer does have a small amount of alcohol
in though.
I think the best think is to model sensible alcohol use and not drinking often or excessively. I was allowed small tastes of alcohol from being young and have never been a problem drinker, hardly have any now. I liked the taste, I didn’t need to ‘get the taste for it’

But it doesn't 'sit off' with you to sink alcohol in front of dc as surely you realise that's far more influential and normalising?

Yabu

But they give the illusion of sophistication because they are like alcohol!

Yes to a point but they don't have the flavor or any actual alcohol. So they are fine for their health and aren't adjusting their taste buds to alcohol either.

There is also an element that it is the fancy glasses, fruit, umbrellas etc that give the illusion of sophistication.

My dc aren't wanting AF wine or beer. They don't have any of the fancy looks that my dc want. Dd wants an insta shot which is all about decoration and nothing about alcohol.

I agree with you about the AF beer I don't think children should be allowed that. It tastes if beer. I think the mocktails are fine as they are only fruit juice and taste if fruit juice. I would only buy them from the children's menu though

‘I'm so glad my kids don't have a boring mum. ‘

😅😅😅
yeah. Soooo boring.
oddly enough the kids have different idea of what boring is. The dad handing out AF beers is the least fav because he sleeps in late, then sits on his phone all day, ignores all the kids for the most part - including his own- and won’t play in the pool
with them.
me and other dad are higher up in the parenting leader board this trip because with both love water and have spent most of our time dicking around in the pool with them and taking them out on the paddle boards.

Why pay the cost for a mocktail for kids? Why can’t they have water, juice, fizzy drinks, squash? The alcohol free version is for adults who don’t drink alcohol. I’d not be paying out for this for kids.

‘ agree with you about the AF beer I don't think children should be allowed that. It tastes if beer. I think the mocktails are fine as they are only fruit juice and taste if fruit juice. I would only buy them from the children's menu though’

Where we are they aren’t on a children’s menu, they’re on the drinks menu, in fact there are very few kids menus at all.
it’s all half portions of the normal food.

And to include that I’d not he giving AF beer to kids. It’s for adults who don’t drink alcohol.