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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my kids to drink mocktails or AF beer?

441 replies

Thesenderofthiscard · 13/08/2023 10:39

On holiday with grp of friends - oldest kids are 13, youngest 8.
the 5 teens have been asking for ‘mocktails’ when we’re out at cafes/ restaurants- Virgin bloody Mary’s, Virgin mojitos - and now the little one want them too.

I’m REALLY uncomfortable with this- Have said no to my teen so now I’m the worst parent in the world. I’m not happy with the normalising of drinking = fun or being ‘grown up’ at this age.
ine of the dad’s told me in need to get real, and for an AF beer for his 13 old son.
I ask him if he’d let his son have a ‘fake’ vale or cigarette and all he’ll broke lose.

oh, and not to mention these drinks are €8/10 a pop as they’re meant for no- drinking adults

YABU - lighten up! Let them feel like grown ups

YANBU - They’re too young to be pretending to drink.

OP posts:
Seaswimmingforthesoul · 13/08/2023 11:49

Yep YABU. It's fancy fruit juice.
Seems like you're projecting your own issues onto your kids. No child would think of these drinks as anything other than a fun, colourful drink 🤷‍♀️

NOTANUM · 13/08/2023 11:50

I agree entirely with you. Parties for 8 year olds with alcohol free Prosecco tells them that you can only celebrate with alcohol. Ditto holidays. I’d rather give them full sugar coke!

Id sooner give the teens a quarter glass of wine topped up with water on special occasions that they can sip to teach them how to drink responsibly.

babyproblems · 13/08/2023 11:51

I think mock tail / smoothie ok, AF beer no.
xx

Original poster
Thesenderofthiscard · 13/08/2023 11:52

‘ think if you're sufficiently concerned about not encouraging drinking, it's a little hypocritical of you to be taking your children to places where that's the primary focus of the evening, and in the company of adults who drink.’

I’m not going to stop taking my children to restaurants because adults may be drinking alcohol with their food.
If you think buying your 13 year old a AF beer is the same as taking them out for a meal at a restaurant then you do. More than welcome to your opinion.

OP posts:
thereisnorightanswer · 13/08/2023 11:52

My parents used to give me Ribena in wine glasses and mix fruit juice with those jaunty little umbrellas. I loved it as a kid. It was fun. They also used to offer me alcohol at home (which I always refused as it smelt funny, and I didn't think it would taste nearly as nice as the special fruity drinks my parents would make me if I said no, thank you).

I rarely drink alcohol to the point where I think I might be accidentally teetotal, as I can't remember the last time I had a drink, and I've never been drunk.

Fake alcohol is not the same as real alcohol.

Now, if you're complaining about the price of mocktails, you might have a point...

babyproblems · 13/08/2023 11:52

Please tell me that alcohol free Prosecco at kids parties is not a thing…

Alargeoneplease89 · 13/08/2023 11:53

I'm on the fence, I would say no to alcohol free beer or mocktails made with alcohol free spirits, as I feel it tastes like alcohol and normalising it.

However, I would say yes to mocktails that are just juices- for example I do a mocktail/cocktail list at Christmas and the mocktails would be called Santa's beer but its cola- I don't feel its encouraging alcohol use, its just abit of fun.

I disagree with the poster saying babyccinos encourage caffeine addiction when it's just milk

Characterbuilding · 13/08/2023 11:54

I actually think that alcohol is less in fashion with young people who are more health conscious. Rather than mimicking alcohol I actually think these drinks present options to those who aren’t fussed with alcohol to have a good time or be sociable. That’s my experience anyway. More people than ever aren’t bothering to drink alcohol.

watcherintherye · 13/08/2023 11:54

I disagree with the poster saying babyccinos encourage caffeine addiction when it's just milk

That poster was joking!

Timetochangegonzo · 13/08/2023 11:56

Viewing a mocktail as a non-alcoholic cocktail is your problem. They’re just fruity drinks surely and perfect for kids.

GoingInsaneAhhh · 13/08/2023 11:56

The mocktails id be ok with barr the price!! However not the AF beer

Deathbyfluffy · 13/08/2023 11:56

frazzledasarock · 13/08/2023 10:54

Babycinos are frothy milk.

Show quote history

And mocktails are just fruit juice. What’s your point?

sleepyscientist · 13/08/2023 11:58

@Thesenderofthiscard what if it has the opposite effect tho encouraging kids that they don't need alcohol like the adults as the AF stuff is fine? Growing up those that weren't allowed a drink were the ones downing a litre bottle of vodka vs those who were allowed one from being a teen were sensible with a few cans

DarkForces · 13/08/2023 11:59

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 13/08/2023 11:40

The teens, I may allow as a one off treat but no way for any younger.

These really annoy me and I don’t understand why any parent would want to glamourise drinking alcohol.

By all means get them a fun drink but a mocktail or non-alcohol beer is just daft, the kids are literally only drinking them because they think it makes them look cool - what sort of message is that.

Fake alcoholic drinks or vapes aimed at kids should be banned.

You can't just ban everything you disapprove of. Dh likes a non alcoholic beer, I prefer sparkling water and dd loves a mocktail. If anything it normalises going out and not drinking

StripyHorse · 13/08/2023 12:00

doroda · 13/08/2023 10:50

It's like when people give toddlers babyccinos, a real slippery slope to them developing a serious caffeine addiction.

Given my 2 had these all the time, and are now 16 / 13 with no desire to drink coffee, I have surely failed.

Original poster
Thesenderofthiscard · 13/08/2023 12:01

‘Viewing a mocktail as a non-alcoholic cocktail is your problem.’

‘Mocktails, a portmanteau for "mock cocktails", are non-alcoholic drinks. The word "mock" implies a facade of the alcoholic cocktail without any of the alcoholic content. In the 2000s, it became popular enough to find its place on cocktail menus in many restaurants and bars, especially temperance bars.’

yeah, deffo just me. And the teens deffo don’t want want because they think it seems more grown up than actual fruit juice or a soft drink either. They just turned round one day and decided that €10 soda water and fruit juice is well with the money.
Perhaps they’re on a health kick?

And as for the boy drinking AF beer, I suppose he just loves the taste of beer rather than pop now, probably a puberty thing? Which is weird, because he definitely still eats bags of sugary Haribo in one go

OP posts:
SquigglePigs · 13/08/2023 12:02

DD is 4 so plenty of time to change my mind but I think I'd be ok with the mocktails but no way on AF beer/lager at that age. They don't need to develop a taste for it, whereas mocktails are fancy juice mixes. You have a point on cost though so would limit it to one on principal (and the sugar).

Timetochangegonzo · 13/08/2023 12:02

Hang on. Are you drinking wine?!

surely the best way to model not needing alcohol to have fun is by you doing this.

if you’re having wine whilst refusing them a fun fruit drink on holiday then you are being massively unreasonable. As well as setting up your kids to be rebellious as soon as they can. Forbidden fruit and all that

Crossstich · 13/08/2023 12:04

A mocktail is just mixed fruit juice isn't it? I've bought then for my grandchildren and I've had them. Normally they are delicious
I haven't seen it as normalising alcoholic drinking at all. Just a nice summary drink. No different from a smoothie really.

notacooldad · 13/08/2023 12:05

The comparison to the fake fags is a good one, I remember those as sweets when I was little and one has to ask why we dont sell those to kids anymore?
I never got the fuss over sweet cigarettes. I loved them as a kid. All my brothers and sisters had then as well. Sweets didn’t influence kids to be smokers, their peer group. I have never had a real fag in my life.

For everyone mocking the OP- Isn’t this why candy cigarettes are no longer a thing Thats due to to a daft over reaction! They haven’t banned jelly snakes, if in case kids want to chase sakes and eat them, or chocolate eggs if in case some one wants to eat a raw egg.

My point of view is that I would allow them a mock tail aka fruit juice maybe one or twonights as they are so overpriced. Maybe save it as a treat for the last night or something.Shoot me now but I let my kids have a sip of beer when they were young, betting that they would hate it, I was right. I had no problems with them wanting to try beer for the rest of their childhood.

Timetochangegonzo · 13/08/2023 12:06

yeah, deffo just me. And the teens deffo don’t want want because they think it seems more grown up than actual fruit juice or a soft drink either. They just turned round one day and decided that €10 soda water and fruit juice is well with the money.
Perhaps they’re on a health kick

well whatever you think you’ve now made mocktails/ cocktails a super exciting forbidden fruit for your kids. Well done

TheBeautifulMoors · 13/08/2023 12:07

I don’t drink and on our recent holidays, the tween child had quite a few pina colada mocktails, same as her dad and me. The older one just wanted pop.

I don’t know what i’d say if they wanted bloody mary’s or mojitos mocktails but i suspect i’d say fine because they’re without the alcohol. They’re just juices/fizzy drinks.

I do agree with you on the Alcohol free beer though. i wouldn’t let mine have them.

CapEBarra · 13/08/2023 12:08

Thesenderofthiscard · 13/08/2023 11:08

‘DS aged 5 had a spiderman mocktail on holiday. Basically fruit juice with a few sparkle streamers in, coloured straw and plastic parrot.’

ah, but that’s different - it’s a kids drink, made for kids, marketed as such - it’s not from the adult drinks menu. At least I’ve never been offered a Spider-Man mocktails with a parrot in it wherever I’ve been…

but talking aboard the feedback, the kids can have one next time we’re at the beach bar if they use their own money.

I would totally buy a Spider-Man mocktail, and a Spider-Man cocktail.

It’s an interesting question. I would let my DD have the occasional mocktail when she was 12-13. She’s almost 18 now and could have or mix her own cocktails but she isn’t interested in alcohol and would order a mocktail still because she enjoys the spectacle of a fancy drink. So I’m not sure a mocktails necessarily leads to a lifetime of binge drinking pina coladas - if anything, it could get them used to drinking more healthy and interesting alternatives. I’d happily give an 8 year old an alcohol free beer. It’s disgusting to most 8 year olds and might curb his interest in booze for a few years (same with wine).

The drinks on their own don’t make the difference. It’s the behaviour modelled by parents and friends. If they see a parent swigging back 8 Mojitos a night and snogging the next door neighbour that becomes normal and accepted behaviour, but a glass of wine with dinner or a few cocktails on holiday models a healthy relationship with alcohol and that will have more of an impact on their choices as they get older.

Tiswa · 13/08/2023 12:09

13 year old and AF beer is completely different and I would not do

mocktails though are fine - I often have one they are nicer than whe you add too much alcohol. Expensive though so on that front I see your point

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