To not want my kids to drink mocktails or AF beer?

[Thesenderofthiscard]

On holiday with grp of friends - oldest kids are 13, youngest 8.
the 5 teens have been asking for ‘mocktails’ when we’re out at cafes/ restaurants- Virgin bloody Mary’s, Virgin mojitos - and now the little one want them too.

I’m REALLY uncomfortable with this- Have said no to my teen so now I’m the worst parent in the world. I’m not happy with the normalising of drinking = fun or being ‘grown up’ at this age.
ine of the dad’s told me in need to get real, and for an AF beer for his 13 old son.
I ask him if he’d let his son have a ‘fake’ vale or cigarette and all he’ll broke lose.

oh, and not to mention these drinks are €8/10 a pop as they’re meant for no- drinking adults

YABU - lighten up! Let them feel like grown ups

YANBU - They’re too young to be pretending to drink.

I wouldn't always let mine have them as they can be a bit expensive for what they are - luckily mine tended to be happy with one and then went onto lemonade!

I see mocktails as nothing really different to the idea of babychino type drinks.

Mocktails - fancy looking juice drinks (made to resemble a grown up cocktail)
Babycino - fancy looking frothy milk (made to resemble a grown up coffee)

And tbh I can't see the issue. Children have always liked to feel a bit grown up. A fancy looking mixed juice drink with a parasol, straw and some fruit on a stick is always going to look more appealing that a plain orange squash.

I think alcohol free drinks is a bit different. It feels wrong but then many are completely AF, some have a tiny bit of alcohol in.
And I remember having a Shandy Bass can from the chip show when fairly young at times - and that did have a tiny bit of alcohol in (0.05% I think) and it was the norm for kids to have it 🤷‍♀️ But AF beer/wine would feel odd to,hand to a young child. I'm the uk you can't be served with it/buy it iirr.

You are on holiday...chill. you will have a nervous breakdown once your kids start drinking proper booze in a few years time..

I ask him if he’d let his son have a ‘fake’ vale or cigarette and all he’ll broke lose.

Whilst I wouldn't do it these days myself, are you old enough to remember sweet cigarettes?

Little white candy sticks in a box made to resemble a cigarette box. Or chocolate versions. There were also liquorice pipes. And very much advertises to resemble smoking. I remember having them, alongside many friends. It wasn't deemed as bad parenting. It was just an every day sweet.

I assume they got banned or something at some point.

The candy sticks have returned but are no longer marketed in such a way that the resemble cigarettes.

I always used to have half a shandy/ beet with Sunday lunch with my nan.

Yabu

in my experience being that strict with kids will make them do/want it more. It’s a fancy novelty fruit juice! It normalises not drinking alcohol. I gave my 14 year old a AF cider at a party and he’s the most sensible drinker who can take it or leave it. I new parents who strictly said no alcohol til 18 and there kids were the ones stealing/hiding and getting wrecked. A mocktail I buy for my 8 year old for a treat on holiday

He’s not 14 anymore

You can still get candy ciggies!

I must have eaten hundreds as a kid, had two chain smoking parents and yet I've never thought about smoking!

At 17 you’d allow them a mocktail, my god. I don’t believe it’s a myth about allowing drinking here and there when younger means having a better relationship with alcohol. You just need to look at other countries and this has been my experience too.

You can still buy the candy cigarettes - they are just marketed differently. Children still use them to pretend though.

I’d let them drink it but agree the cost is ridiculous.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the drinks as such because they’re just nice drinks! If that’s what’s making it an enjoyable experience for the teens to be out with their parents it’s fair enough.

However they’re very expensive and I think putting a limit on how many they can have - like one a night, is completely fine.

My 9 yo sometimes just asks for “a nice glass” a family occasions which I think is fine as long as he’s careful - he doesn’t want alcohol (obviously at 9!) or anything pretending to be it, the drink is whatever he usually drinks or a smoothy/ nice juice - but presentation can make anything feel special

'I don’t believe it’s a myth about allowing drinking here and there when younger means having a better relationship with alcohol. '

Doesn't matter what you think when the facts say otherwise, does it?

Honestly? You’re setting yourself up to be the mum of the kids that go off the rails.

let them learn, let them think things are not “off limits”, just teach them about it, the dangers and health concerns. But don’t make it a banned substance.

allow them a mock tail, allow them a bit of alcohol growing up so that they don’t want to rebel and rush off doing all the things that mum wouldn’t let them do. Ensure that the first time they drink, it’s with you present. Let them feel able to come to you so they aren’t getting drunk in a back alley and lying about where they are.

they WILL drink alcohol one day. Their relationship with it is down to you….

Oh for goodness sake. Comparing mock tails to alcoholic drinks and candy sticks to cigarettes is as ridiculous as saying taking codeine is a slippery slope to using heroin 🙄

@Thesenderofthiscard I don't think it does say otherwise. A huge proportion of binge drinkers at university are people who have been banned from drinking alcohol before they go.

I think you’re being a little claustrophobic and helicopter in your approach to the teenagers by simply saying no.

Appreciate the little ones you’ve more consideration here. If you don’t let teenagers have a drink that just ‘looks’ alcoholic, then the second they try real alcohol they will keep it a secret from you. Remove the taboo. otherwise they won’t come to you if they think they’ll be told off for taking a sip. If they get into a situation and alcohol has been involved, they won’t ask you for help they'll be scared of getting into trouble if you’re strict with fruit juice and soda water.

I used to have fake drinks when younger but also had babysham at Christmas and a minature Bailey’s. I’m not a big drinker now. I also used to have the fake cigarettes (the chocolate ones with sugar paper and pretty realistic boxes) and I couldn’t be more anti-smoking. Thought they were well cool when I was little.

I gave my 6 year old Mocktails on holiday, he thinks it’s wild having mint leaves in a drink.

Also statistically teenagers these days don’t drink or binge drink like we did as teenagers and we are still bigger drinkers statistically than they are now comparatively. It just isn’t “cool” or affordable for the younger generations now. Mocktails and alcohol free are for insta and TikToks.

Let them get them and let them pay for them, get the full rounded experience of “drinking” then.

The more taboo you make them, the more likely they’ll want to try them (especially the actual alcohol ones) and go wild when they’re old enough and you can’t say no

I don’t think there’s any need at all for alcohol free beer for kids but a mock tail is fine. Although for that price then maybe one as a treat but not every night.

I don’t let my children watch Paw Patrol because it normalises speeding.

Surely one of the advantages of a mocktail is that it normalises the idea that you can have a "fun" drink and it doesn't have to have alcohol in it?

I think you're being bizarre. At our year 6 disco, the "mocktail" bar is a highlight for the kids with the biggest issue that a lot of them are quite sweet so we have to be a bit careful with some of the kids who come back multiple times. Needless to say, I wasn't shocked that the first boy I had to cut off was ALSO the boy who is never ever allowed fizzy drinks or anything except water or the odd glass of milk.... letting him loose at the mocktail bar where some of the drinks had lemonade, apple juice, orange juice etc was a bit dangerous!

DS thoroughly enjoyed being given an alcohol free beer at a BBQ the other day. He's 12.

I grew up in pubs so drinking was very normal to me. When I was really little I was allowed a glass of alcohol free wine with lemonade on Christmas Day. If anyone remembers the stubby bottles of woodpecker cider I was allowed to share one of those with my dad as a Saturday night treat from around the age of 10. When I got into my teens I was allowed 1 reef on Friday nights when my mum let my friends cone into the pub to play pool. As I little girl I felt so grown up with my alcohol wine spritzer. When I was old enough to go out drinking I wasn't the one being scrapped off the floor as I'd gone completely ott. It was the ones who'd never been allowed a drop of alcohol that couldn't stand up and was picking chunks of sick out their hair on Saturday morning. Let them feel grown up. Teach them the responsibility and consequences of alcohol, learn from the French. They don't have a binge drinking culture like we do. Me and my partner aren't tee total but we rarely drink. When our son is old enough and asks he will be allowed to try and he will be allowed a very weak shandy

My daughter is 12 and has AF cider on birthdays, Christmas and other special occasions. I think teaching kids responsibility is what is important. You don’t want your children to be raised with a ‘I have to hide it from mum’ mentality because you’ve created that environment

I wouldn’t have an issue with them drinking them but I’d have an issue with the price! Those prices seem insane for something with no booze in them when a glass of wine is 3 euros!