to say 2am is too late??

[ItalianWays]

We live on the corner of a new build development. There are two old cottages just beyond the edge of our garden. Last year a couple of months after we moved in, the occupant of one of them delivered notes to us and the neighbours saying he would be having a 40th party with music on the garden but they would be moving the music in doors at 11pm, we were welcome to join him for drinks between 4&5pm that evening and here’s his phone number in case of problems.

I could not go for drinks because of childcare and the music went on, very loudly (the guy is an event organiser and had a professional sound system and stage set up!) beyond his cut off time. At 1am I texted him to ask to turn it down a bit but got no answer and it eventually went indoors at 2am. The following morning he texted to apologise and said it had all got out of hand.

On Friday night this week he had another birthday party (not his I don’t think) in the garden. No note this time, not such a big production but there was music loud enough that we could hear it clearly. Again though the music went on very late and our bedrooms face their garden. At 1.55am I texted him “dear X, it is 1.55am, we are trying to sleep, is it time to turn the music down?” No reply although the music did stop shortly afterwards.

Yesterday morning I had a very aggressive text from the man. He said that I had complained last year even when I had been informed, that I should cut him some slack because the noise of our house being built had disturbed him for months, that if my house wasn’t a flat pack new build with * insulation then his music (which he said was from an Amazon Dot, I don’t know what that is) is not a problem.

I replied (no swearing) to say I was sorry about the noise but we didn’t own the house at the time so we had no control over the builders, that yes he had informed us last year but he then ignored his own promises, and any people reasonable would think 2am is too late for loud music in a residential area.

Then he said “And blocked”.

Now I am worried what to do? Was I U to complain?

He complained about your house being built 😂😂😂

What a weirdo

YADNBU we had a v. large garden when dd was a teen and every summer she had friends round for a party, we put notes through neighbours doors and the music was never blasted out and always stopped at 11 pm on the dot.
Your neighbour is v. unreasonable and knows it hence the defensive attitude.

He was being unreasonable to complain about your house being built and not letting you know about the second party, but to be honest i think you are being a bit unreasonable to complain if it was only the second time in a year (or even more). I'd just put it down to one of those things. If it was happening once a month or more frequently I'd be tempted to say something though.

It's one party a year. Let it go.

Keep a log of what is happening and the times - note the date, time noise starts, time noise finishes and what it is. Then note the impact on you - e.g. "It was a Saturday night, but I was due at work as a driver at 6am or whatever. If it's continually happening at unsocial hours go to the council with a noise complaint.

Obviously there has to be some give and take, but round here people usually finish at 11pm, 12 midnight by the absolute latest and it's never a "school night".

If it's once a year on his birthday then yes I think YABU.
Thems the breaks of living within the vicinity of other humans I'm afraid.
I can't really believe you made a noise complaint on his 40th when he'd given you fair warning.
If it's every weekend that is one thing, if it's once a year YABVU.

He's being daft complaining about your house being built but equally your being quite petty to complain both times he's had a party in a year, it's not like he's doing it weekly it's 2 occasions total.

One 2am party per year? YABU. It’s annoying but not worth making a fuss over.

One party a year!! Yabu

You are unreasonable to complain about noise that happens once a year, even if it goes on all night. I’m amazed that you contacted him on his 40th birthday so no wonder he didn’t bother telling you in advance this time and why he reacted badly.

Yes I think you were U.
He went out of his way to warn you and include you in his 40th, which would have at the time been a one off. Yet because he went over time on the night you jumped straight to complaining. Most people would have been more tolerant.
He then apologised and has presumably been quiet until this second occasion. I imagine he wasn't as pleasant this time because you were less than gracious before.
If this were a weekly occurance I'd think differently but its two nights in total since you've lived there.
His comments about the building noise are daft but hardly worth worrying about. I think the pertinent point is the relationship has soured which will probably lead to further upset and drama when you have to resort to official action, rather than there being some mutual good will.

If it's once a year, I wouldn't have complained - for the sake of neighbourly relations. Which you've now lost.

YANBU. In my opinion it doesn't matter if it's once a year or not, keeping your neighbours up til 2am with music is rude as fuck.

I wouldn't have complained as they're still relatively new neighbours and I wouldn't want to 'rock the boat' but you weren't unreasonable at all

If it's one party per year roughly then I wouldn't have complained.

Op yadnbu!!! I used to have exactly the same situation in my old house! 2am is an absolute piss take to be making that sort of noise in the garden no matter what the occasion is! Midnight maybe but when it sounds like you have a disco in your bedroom at 2am that's just wrong! Just because its his birthday that doesn't mean he gets to disrupt the sleep of all his neighbours!

Once a year in a Saturday night… YABU.

Sorry, but I think you were daft to complain about one late night in a year. Yes, it's annoying but it's not like he's doing it regularly.

Sometimes neighbours make noise late at night - it's not ideal but it's part of living near other people. It wouldn't even occur to me to say something unless it happened regularly.

One party a year?

I'd totally suck it up. How do you get through NYE and bonfire night?

He's batshit for trying to compare it to your building work being done, but you were painfully passive aggressive with your is it time to turn the music down?

Totally YABU it's the summer, it's one night and it's only music. Live and let live I imagine at 40 any kids are older so unlikely to be waking you up on a Saturday morning where as I imagine your estate has plenty out that he can hear. If you want silence don't buy a new build but buy something isolated it in its own grounds

You have ruined neighbourly relations for the sake of a once a year party!

I can’t begrudge someone a party once a year on their birthday and I wouldn’t expect to put a curfew on it. It’s nice to be informed but if I was that bothered id go away for the night.

I hate being disturbed when trying to sleep but it's only twice a year so definitely would not of complained , just a bit of fun for his 40th . He also put a note through the door and invited you the first time in a way of politeness so even more reason not to complain! Life is too short x

Why on earth would you ruin a relationship with your neighbours for a party which happens once a year? I hand on heart could not get worked up about this.

Were you the only person on the new estate to complain? My development's WhatsApp group is always busy with complaints over any outside party music after 10pm. It seems strange that you are the only person to have objected.

My first housing association flat (thank you Russian oligarch for buying the flat I'd lived in for nearly 20 years and tripling the rent) my downstairs neighbour seemed to expect me to float everywhere, and never have post etc delivered - because that mean delivery people walking up and down the stairs...he wanted to live in complete silence. In the 20 years I'd lived in my previous block of flats I'd never had a single noise complaint.

I had 2 people around the night of my 50th, they stayed until about 1am (next day wasn't a working one). Following morning/afternoon/evening he spent constantly screaming - and I mean actually screaming - abuse from both inside his flat, in the communal corridor and outside my front door. He also urinated on the steps outside my flat... I reported him both to the Police because he'd threatened physical harm to myself, my two cats and my boyfriend and also to the HA...who leapt at the chase to take him to court. I remember during the very tearful first phone conversation I had with them being told that under no circumstances was I 'unreasonable' to have a party once or even twice a year, and he should count himself lucky that it was only a couple of times a year!

I ended up being moved by the HA, and I found out from another resident of the block that he'd done the same to 4 previous tenants...

So yeah. You are being very unreasonable. I'd block you too.