to say 2am is too late??

[ItalianWays]

We live on the corner of a new build development. There are two old cottages just beyond the edge of our garden. Last year a couple of months after we moved in, the occupant of one of them delivered notes to us and the neighbours saying he would be having a 40th party with music on the garden but they would be moving the music in doors at 11pm, we were welcome to join him for drinks between 4&5pm that evening and here’s his phone number in case of problems.

I could not go for drinks because of childcare and the music went on, very loudly (the guy is an event organiser and had a professional sound system and stage set up!) beyond his cut off time. At 1am I texted him to ask to turn it down a bit but got no answer and it eventually went indoors at 2am. The following morning he texted to apologise and said it had all got out of hand.

On Friday night this week he had another birthday party (not his I don’t think) in the garden. No note this time, not such a big production but there was music loud enough that we could hear it clearly. Again though the music went on very late and our bedrooms face their garden. At 1.55am I texted him “dear X, it is 1.55am, we are trying to sleep, is it time to turn the music down?” No reply although the music did stop shortly afterwards.

Yesterday morning I had a very aggressive text from the man. He said that I had complained last year even when I had been informed, that I should cut him some slack because the noise of our house being built had disturbed him for months, that if my house wasn’t a flat pack new build with * insulation then his music (which he said was from an Amazon Dot, I don’t know what that is) is not a problem.

I replied (no swearing) to say I was sorry about the noise but we didn’t own the house at the time so we had no control over the builders, that yes he had informed us last year but he then ignored his own promises, and any people reasonable would think 2am is too late for loud music in a residential area.

Then he said “And blocked”.

Now I am worried what to do? Was I U to complain?

Living close to people involves compromise: Parking, lawn mowing, parties, building works, deliveries etc.

there will be times when your household is the one that is irritating. Maybe you might even want your own party, no? (Curious if you can read PA in others posts).

don’t start a war. You’ll bury yourself.

@PegasusReturns Maybe we will have a party but I would never be so inconsiderate to play loud music outside at 2am.

I do not understand some of these arguments. Do you really believe there is no limit in bad and inconsiderate behaviour, provided it is infréquent? But when I ask, where is the limit between acceptable and unacceptable, you complain I am « passive- aggressive »!!!

I think the truth is, for those of you who think I am « no fun » for complaining, is that you know playing music outside at 2am is unreasonable but you do it yourself!

No one has said he's fine to play music outside at that hour though but what we all acknowledge is that sometimes when you live in densely populated areas shit like that happens. People get carried away, don't notice the time etc. If you go in all guns blazing everytime someone near you fucks up then you're going to piss off all your neighbours and find it a very uncomfortable place to live.

You acknowledge it's only been twice that it's happened that it's gone on very late if he's generally quite considerate in turning it off or going inside then yes I'd be turning a blind eye because it could be a heck of a lot worse.

@GoodChat
I did not tell him what to do. I said we were trying to sleep and asked him to make a decision about whether to turn the music off given it was 2am. Exactly what you said.

What I did not do is apologise for texting. Why should I? He already sent us his phone number and said to call if anyone had any problems. It was just a polite text. What is there to apologise for?

In lockdown my neighbours lost the plot and had 5 noisy outdoor piss ups over a period of a year. I hated it but left it. In the following 2 years they have had one. Honestly I hate noise, it is bad at 2 am but if it’s once or twice a year even I would let it go.

Honestly @ItalianWays this could go either way.

It's a choice.

Seems like you've made yours.

Go with it.

. Write him a letter with what you've said here and put it through the letter box. Threaten to call the police him next time. Follow through with that. Keep a dairy with dates and noise levels. The council has a department for that I think. Talk to other neighbours . Start a battle.

Or you could go round with a bottle of wine ( and I'm not saying you're in the wrong or should apologise ) and call a truce.

And have a nice life.

Crack on.

No one has said he's fine to play music outside at that hour though but what we all acknowledge is that sometimes when you live in densely populated areas shit like that happens. People get carried away, don't notice the time etc. If you go in all guns blazing everytime someone near you fucks up then you're going to piss off all your neighbours and find it a very uncomfortable place to live.

Agree with this.

I mean, what you've accomplished here is that he will likely kick off every time your kids make any kind of inconvenient noise.

YABVU and a bit of a self righteous PITA.

It's 2am not 6am and it's once a year. Every weekend - yes complain. Being kept up once a year - you're being a misery,

@YourNameGoesHere We aren’t in a densely populated area. Where did I say we were? It is the countryside - where we live was a field until 2 years ago and there are fields in the other side. People move here to get away from cities and noise, in exchange for rubbish public transport and no infrastructure.

I hardly think a polite text at 2am to a number that the person volunteered to me is « going in with all guns blazing ».

My healthy sleep at 2 am would be far more important than keeping neighbourly relationship with a rude weirdo! YANBU

I think I could just about cope with this once a year

Playing music at 2am is very, very selfish.

Of course yanbu

He sounds terrible. “And blocked” 🤣🤣

Its easy to tell who the nightmare neighbours are on this thread 🙄

The boring party poopers are easy to spot too.

Well said!!

@Oliotya I would rather be known as a boring party pooper than a rude, selfish, annoying neighbour 🤷‍♀️

1 party a year is hardly annoying. It's part of having neighbours.

No it really isn't! Playing loud music in the garden at 2am is anti social behaviour! At least if it was in the house at that hour it would be muffled and not as loud but to do it in the garden knowing that you have neighbours close by trying to sleep is unbelievably ignorant and rude!

One party, yes. One party that goes on till 2am is definitely annoying.