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Original poster

Why do so many mums bang on about their parenting styles?

87 replies

hungrycrocodile23 · 13/08/2023 08:23

This is a thing I've noticed a lot lately. It's not just the stealth boasting about holidays and days out anymore, it's actual monologues about parenting styles.

I have a few people on my socials who do it. Just this week I've seen someone put up a long winded post about car seats and why rear facing are so important and why her son won't be forward facing until he's 11 and how she 'can't believe other parents allow it'.

Another one who is into gentle parenting and constantly posting about the benefits of contact naps and allowing kids the freedom to express themselves. Often closeted digs at those who do things differently.

I even saw someone write a FB post about Santa and how her daughter would not be taught to believe that she had to be good in order to get presents because she is free to express herself how she wants to and will be rewarded regardless. That one created a bit of a debate.

I suppose you could argue that the car seat stuff and things like breastfeeding posts are raising awareness but honestly...it just seems like everyone wants everyone else to know just how much of a superior parent they are these days.

Yes, I know the option to unfollow is there but these are otherwise nice people. I just don't understand the constant need to wax lyrical about your own parenting styles and values. We all parent our own way, why does anyone else need to know about it?

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 13/08/2023 08:26

People get delusions of grandeur and think they're influencers, even when they're just posting on Facebook and the only person who'll like it is their auntie who loyally likes everything anyone they know posts. There are people who have made fortunes posting this sort of stuff and a lot of people seem to think that they can easily do the same.

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 13/08/2023 08:27

It sounds like you’re feeling insecure about the way you parent if these posts are getting to you so I would have a think about why that might be.

In the case of ERF it is very important to spread that information far and wide because it unfortunately hasn’t hit the mainstream yet, but it’s getting there and this is how it does that.

It’s important parents are made aware of what is safest for their child even if they choose to ignore it, because at least then they’ve made an informed choice.

whitebreadjamsandwich · 13/08/2023 08:30

They'll look back and realise they were dickheads. I was evangelical about blw, and that you absolutely could NOT do a mix of both tw + blw. Now I can see that it doesn't f*cking matter 😂 as long as they eat! My eldest is in double figures now and we rearfaced from the start (it was a relatively new concept back then), and that is probably the only thing I still feel strongly about as it's such a simple way for them to be a million times safer in the car.

Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 13/08/2023 08:30

Just add on you are winging it like most people and too busy enjoying your dc to log every move you make.... SM is attention seeking shite imo.

Normalnormal · 13/08/2023 08:31

‘Socials’ isn’t real life. People write all sorts of shit on social media.

Missingmyusername · 13/08/2023 08:32

As others have said. Idiots.

“It sounds like you’re feeling insecure about the way you parent if these posts are getting to you so I would have a think about why that might be.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

JMSA · 13/08/2023 08:32

My parenting style is getting us all through life as unscathed as possible Grin

Goingsomewhere · 13/08/2023 08:35

My 10 year old is tall and lanky. How the heck would it be feasible to keep him rear facing in my small car. Utterly ridiculous.

Honestlyy · 13/08/2023 08:35

I don't resent an important safety post about RF being spread but I know what you mean. Social media has made us a bit weird and narcissistic- yes that word gets thrown about a lot but it's true! I can recommend getting of social media or snoozing nearly everyone bar the people who write the most quallty posts.

YukoandHiro · 13/08/2023 08:36

It's when people are deep in the young child bit and they don't have anything else going on in their life so they make parenting their whole identity. I think I probably did this a bit, with posts about breastfeeding. Youngest is now 3 and finally I'm busy enough in "real" life outside the home to not resort to thinking I have anything to say about parenting.

YukoandHiro · 13/08/2023 08:38

Goingsomewhere · 13/08/2023 08:35

My 10 year old is tall and lanky. How the heck would it be feasible to keep him rear facing in my small car. Utterly ridiculous.

Literally the advice is to rear face to age 5, if they still fit.

Nobody is saying rear face at 10 🙈

ssd · 13/08/2023 08:38

I don't know how the earth managed to evolve for so long without people on social media telling us how its done.

Amazing really.

noseposey · 13/08/2023 08:38

Is rear facing a parenting style? Surely it’s just a safety choice and is ok to make people aware now and then.
Also it’s easy to gentle parent when your kids are babies/toddlers they might be changing the opinion/loosing there shiz when there kids get older and can’t put the shoes on unless there asked nicely 5 times then shouted at 😂

Goingsomewhere · 13/08/2023 08:40

YukoandHiro · 13/08/2023 08:38

Literally the advice is to rear face to age 5, if they still fit.

Nobody is saying rear face at 10 🙈

Show quote history

The op said someone was banging on about rear facing til 11. Just quoting what was said.

Original poster
hungrycrocodile23 · 13/08/2023 08:40

Insecure about my parenting 😂😂😂

I mean I don't think im brilliant enough to bestow my vast wisdom on others via the medium of Facebook but I don't think im doing a bad job to be honest.

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 13/08/2023 08:41

People are going to have an opinion on something so important. You are free to ignore or disagree.

Sometimes I read threads here from exasperated parents who don't sleep, can't manage to find a routine, are being run ragged by their children. I wish I could offer advice, but mostly I can't be bothered.

I've worked with looked after children in therapeutic residential homes. I read about out of control teenagers beating up their parents. I shake my head and skip to the next thread. I can't be bothered.

Maybe we should be grateful if people are sufficiently interestedvto share their insights?

Peony654 · 13/08/2023 08:42

Honestly - have sympathy for those parents who post. How boring must their lives be, they need to seek validation on the internet. Maybe they’d be better parents if they stopped spending hours posting online.

teenysaladandsniffofarose · 13/08/2023 08:42

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 13/08/2023 08:27

It sounds like you’re feeling insecure about the way you parent if these posts are getting to you so I would have a think about why that might be.

In the case of ERF it is very important to spread that information far and wide because it unfortunately hasn’t hit the mainstream yet, but it’s getting there and this is how it does that.

It’s important parents are made aware of what is safest for their child even if they choose to ignore it, because at least then they’ve made an informed choice.

You're definitely one of those parents the Op is talking about🙄

ploverq · 13/08/2023 08:42

I just got rid of these people in my life when I became a parent, they were the minority rather than the majority thankfully.

Peony654 · 13/08/2023 08:43

If parents want guidance they should be looking at NHS or proper charities for this; not social media

ploverq · 13/08/2023 08:44

DaisyAndDonaldDuck · 13/08/2023 08:27

It sounds like you’re feeling insecure about the way you parent if these posts are getting to you so I would have a think about why that might be.

In the case of ERF it is very important to spread that information far and wide because it unfortunately hasn’t hit the mainstream yet, but it’s getting there and this is how it does that.

It’s important parents are made aware of what is safest for their child even if they choose to ignore it, because at least then they’ve made an informed choice.

oooooo OP I found one! Look over here superior parent !!! 😂

CoalCraft · 13/08/2023 08:45

This is why I don't bother with social media. Most people (not all, sadly) realise that they sound a tit when they do these things in real life.

EmmaPaella · 13/08/2023 08:45

In the case of ERF it is very important to spread that information far and wide

No. I had a brief spell of thinking it was my responsibility to share things like this or someone’s child would die but that’s a recipe for neurosis/people unfriending you. That’s what journalists and MPs are for. I’ve had questions asked in parliament because of a quick MP email. All a social media post does it alienate people who just want to see cat pictures.

smilesup · 13/08/2023 08:47

It's the rise of the influencer. When mine were little it was attachment parents that would go on about it online. In RL they were all knackered as they got no decent sleep for years and were shouting at their kids all the time.
I was PFB nob about weaning and very glad I never told anyone else my pearls of wisdom.

Original poster
hungrycrocodile23 · 13/08/2023 08:48

But why have some people decided it's their responsibility to inform everyone else about car seat safety or the benefits of breastfeeding? There's plenty of official evidence based information out there if people want to find it.

They must think they are very important to have decided it's their job to educate every other parent.

OP posts:
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