Why do so many mums bang on about their parenting styles?

[hungrycrocodile23]

This is a thing I've noticed a lot lately. It's not just the stealth boasting about holidays and days out anymore, it's actual monologues about parenting styles.

I have a few people on my socials who do it. Just this week I've seen someone put up a long winded post about car seats and why rear facing are so important and why her son won't be forward facing until he's 11 and how she 'can't believe other parents allow it'.

Another one who is into gentle parenting and constantly posting about the benefits of contact naps and allowing kids the freedom to express themselves. Often closeted digs at those who do things differently.

I even saw someone write a FB post about Santa and how her daughter would not be taught to believe that she had to be good in order to get presents because she is free to express herself how she wants to and will be rewarded regardless. That one created a bit of a debate.

I suppose you could argue that the car seat stuff and things like breastfeeding posts are raising awareness but honestly...it just seems like everyone wants everyone else to know just how much of a superior parent they are these days.

Yes, I know the option to unfollow is there but these are otherwise nice people. I just don't understand the constant need to wax lyrical about your own parenting styles and values. We all parent our own way, why does anyone else need to know about it?

Legs can go anywhere; legs are never a reason to forward face.

If you intending to rearface until 6/7 then you would buy an ERF seat specifically designed for this purpose.

They can cross their legs for most kids it's comfier until they can touch the floor with their legs. Dangly legs more likely to give pins and needles. Honestly the rear facing one is the only one worth posting as it's miles safer than forward facing and people still don't know. Was never mentioned to me by hospital or health visitor.

The rest is people bragging probably cause they feel insecure

@Parker231

Depending on when you had your twins that might have been illegal.

I think it's one thing to respect different choices but another to advocate breaking the law tbh

@itsallnewnow - DT’s are early 20’s so the rear facing didn’t apply then. Neither would have fitted in rear facing for long - both tall with long legs.

I’m a mum of two toddlers.
I don’t post on social media at all, it’s not my thing and I don’t have time.

However, I can understand why mums do. The transition into motherhood is brutal and was especially brutal for those who entered it during covid as it was isolating in a way other generations didn’t have to experience.
I lost everything to having kids, my work, my social life, all of my hobbies and interests. This was never the plan. I was supposed to be working still, we were going to have a healthy equal set up but then life happened, as it does, cost of living sky rocketed and we just could not afford for me to go back. At all, we would have incurred significant debt.

I know A LOT of women in that same situation. They have independence, relatively successful careers and big ideals about how having kids is going to go… then poof their life falls apart and suddenly their kids are all they really have. So what do they do? They make the kids their full time jobs, they read articles, get intense about ethos and attitudes. All in pursuit of being the best possible parent they can be because that’s now ALL THEY HAVE! They post on social media because it feels validating to them, a public display of how seriously they’re taking their new role and how successful they’re being at it.

They don’t realise how judgy they sound or how offensive it may sound to someone who doesn’t share their ideals, because in the years of isolation and child cabin fever they’ve lost their self awareness and perspective. I don’t view posts like this as subtle brags, I view them as cries for attention and help from women who aren’t getting it elsewhere.

You can absolutely rear face tall and long legged children until at least age 5 now with an ERF seat.

But why is that an issue? I didn't know about ERF until someone I went to school with posted a few posts about it. If I hadn't known that I would have probably just gone to John Lewis or somewhere and got the seat they recommended 🤷🏼‍♀️
This.
Why would I get annoyed that someone I'm friends with has taken the time to share information that's helped me make a more informed decision as a parent?

I used to think all car seats were the same because they all have to meet the same safety standards, and then it realised how low the minimum safety standards are. I'm glad my friends shared information that helped me learn.

Yes it's legal, don't worry, it's fine.

@LolaSmiles Absolutely agree. I would rather someone told me there was a safer way to do X, Y, Z.

It’s like if I was babywearing incorrectly, I would rather someone stop me and nicely point it out because it’s important for my child.

If there is a safer way to do something, especially in the case of car seat safety where it’s a difference between paralysis and decapitation or mostly fine, it should be spread far and wide.

I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t be grateful to learn they could keep their child safer.

They are probably would-be influencers who have an inflated sense in the worth if their 'wisdom' which they want to pass on to everyone. Avoid.

Oh OP I feel for you. It’s awful isn’t it?

It’s the one law that I think should be considered on a case by case basis. My daughter is a teen now and was the same. It was hell going out in the car when she was baby. So much safer for all of us as soon as she was front facing.

When I read this rule had come in after our time I was so grateful she hadn’t been born any later.

Unless you’ve lived it you have no idea how dangerous it feels every time you get in the car.

I would hands down have taken the front facing option over any fine as I know which was the safer of the two scenarios for us on a day by day basis, with the absolute caveat that if she had been a good rear facing traveller I wouldn't have thought twice about leaving her rear facing for as long as needed.

It seems madness that in some cases it is illegal to make a significantly safer choice when all is weighed up.

Social media seems to make some people think that everyone will care about their opinion when really no one is arsed- I blame Tik Tok with everyone telling "their story" and "their truth" and the absolute weirdos who can't get enough of inflating the egos of normal people for just living their average lives