Taking your Dd to public toilets

[Thatsongoverandover]

How do you do it as a family?

Dd is 5 and when with me, we go into the same cubicle together and both go to the loo if needed or just her. I never let her walk there on her own, even if I can see the toilets and so on.
What do/should dads do? It’s generally always me taking Dd for the last few years.

A 15yo was raped in the sea in Bournemouth. I have a 15yo and I accompany her to beach toilets.

This will turn into a shit show of a thread, mumsnetters lose their mind over this subject. It’s ridiculous. My DH once took our DD to the mens, the cubicle wasn’t locked so he opened the door and a bloke was sat there with his pants around his ankles. So he walked out and took her to the disabled.

if no one else is waiting and it’s a quick wee I really don’t see the harm

@GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut so what do you do when another disabled person is occupying the disabled toilet?

Cop yourself on?

The disabled toilet is no place for your children and their father.

Doesn't your Dd ever go without you?

Mine will come in to the ladies with me and use their own cubicle. DH used to take them to the gents but now they are 7 and 9 they would go by themselves in to the ladies. They will often go themselves when with me if I don’t need it or only one of them does. I don’t have any issue with them going alone

She's told you what might happen if the disabled toilet is occupied.

Shits herself, possibly. But you would have to be really stupid to use the (very real) possibility of another disabled person occupying the toilet to justify using it because it suits better then the men's.

my son is 8 and if we are somewhere really busy with massive toilets (eg when we go to watch a football match at a big ground with thousands of people) he comes into the ladies with me. i’m not letting him out of my sight in those situations esp when it is absolutely rammed at half time etc 🤷‍♀️ otherwise he pops into the gents by himself

Yes and I hate to think of that nightmare happening to a disabled person. Or anyone actually. But there are all sorts of reasons why people might need them and I’m just saying it’s not illegal, it doesn’t make them a bad person and they are often empty a lot of the time.

There’s no way I’d let my Dd, now 5 go into the toilets herself, I always go into the cubicle with her or would open it and check then stand outside the cubicle

What happens? I am at high risk of shitting myself. But if only disabled people use the disabled toilets there's much less liklihood of them being occupied when someone like me needs to use one.

It was a woman with 4 children who came out after I had an accident. Can you imagine the torture of hearing the loo flush and thinking I was going to make it, only for the door not to open and then hearing the loo flush again. 4 times.

Agreed.
I use disabled toilets in shops, especially supermarkets, regularly.
I often have to wait a long time and mostly it is a member of shop staff who are using it. I get that they may be disabled but as they usually apologise to me when they leave the toilet it seems they aren't. (Why would they apologise if they are disabled).

My DH won’t take our DD into the gents. She is 4 and so if he’s out with her he will use either the accessible or family toilet.

our DS is 6 but looks lots older and I’ve now started to take him to accessible toilets rather than the ladies (that plus he has a crippling fear of toilets and accessible ones are easier for him to use)

I used to work with a double amputee who was very forthright it telling people that they were accessible not disabled loos. He was an EDI specialist at our company and would always say they were there for people who needed extra help to access the loo. That stuck with me.

But why not leave them available for the people who are genuinely entitled to use them? It’s a little like Blue Badge spaces; non-disabled people seem to resent them being left available for those who are legally and morally entitled to use them. Just because they’re empty for one minute, it doesn’t mean they’re not going to be used the next. I am SO sick of the five-minute able-bodied brigade in disabled toilets and Blue Badge parking spaces; do you know how hard it is to fight for equity in society when you are disabled or have a disabled child?

Why aren't dad's and other men campaigning to make men's toilets safer for family use - especially in family use places?

@Ducklake

Yes and I hate to think of that nightmare happening to a disabled person. Or anyone actually. But there are all sorts of reasons why people might need them and I’m just saying it’s not illegal, it doesn’t make them a bad person and they are often empty a lot of the time.

I actually think using the disabled toilets when you are not disabled but have small children absolutely does make you a bad person.

If you are of the opinion that disabled people don't matter, which you must me to use said toilet, then you are almost certainly a bad person.

(Generic, not specific 'you')

Where are these toilets that people are reporting 'a man waiting inside'? Somewhere deserted? I honestly can't imagine that happening in busy area such as a shopping centre, cinema etc with other women using them.

You don't have to imagine it. It has happened.

Google will help

If you are of the opinion that disabled people don't matter, which you must me to use said toilet, then you are almost certainly a bad person.

No you’ve set up a false equivalence there.

Well of course you are going to say that.

But if you are using the disabled toilet when you don't have a disability then I still think you are a bad person.

@TellerTuesday oh it happens. A few years ago two 6 year old girls were sexually assaulted at legoland on an adventure playground. It was busy and the parents were there watching their kids play. So yeah these things do happen.

Sorry you may not not to admit it but that poster is right.

people come up with all sorts of reasons they “need” it forgetting that it’s the only toilet that comes close to meeting the needs of people with disabilities which stop them using any other options.

to use the disabled toilet when you don’t need it is at best lazy and at worst shows someone to be a self centre ablist person.

Disabled is a good idea if you're ignorant.

Unless DH or DD do have a disability