Taking your Dd to public toilets

[Thatsongoverandover]

How do you do it as a family?

Dd is 5 and when with me, we go into the same cubicle together and both go to the loo if needed or just her. I never let her walk there on her own, even if I can see the toilets and so on.
What do/should dads do? It’s generally always me taking Dd for the last few years.

With Dd we both go in the cubicle, I realise as she gets older, she might prefer not to, so I’ll stand outside the actual toilet door, was just wondering what Dh could do
He does the same in the gents. I don't understand what the issue is. They do have cubicles in the gents as well as urinals.

My dds went with their df into the men's when they were small. It's no different than a mum taking a young boy into the women's loos. All they could see at the urinals is a row of backs, men don't wave their bits around.

I understand your disability might not affect your wait time but - Sorry, one of my disabilities is losing bowel control at short notice combined with mobility issues I can't just "run to the loo". I already limit where and when I go out and knowing where accessible toilets are reduces the anxiety a fair bit. Painfully waiting around (standing on crutches) for some kid who could be using standard toilets but the parent is squeamish about parenting would ruin my rare time out of the house. When younger dd always came with me or dad to sex appropriate facility. As they're older and I've got worse my child still deserves days out with their parent too! Not a criticism just asking you to think about it thanks.

And they went into a cubicle with their df, just like they shared a cubicle with me. I don't think gender matters when it's a parent with their own young dc.

Exactly this.
DH managed fine with our two daughters. They just used the cubicle either with him when they were little, then while he waited outside it, holding the door closed with his foot until they were old enough to feel confident in locking it.
It's really not a big deal or an issue.

Dd goes with me to the ladies and gents with her dad.

I saw a scare story online about men hiding in the ladies toilets so now I always check them before I let her go in alone. Before I assumed she would be safe in the ladies toilets alone.

I always go in with my eldest who is 4. She rarely goes out just with her dad so it's never a problem.. I just take her in and there we go. However baby changing facilities sometimes there isn't any! And you just have to find a quiet corner somewhere and change the baby!

You would think some company or council somewhere could have installed children’s toilets by now.

Have been noticing a fair few reports about not sending your Dd into the toilets alone as in a few cases, there was a man waiting inside. I know it’s v unlikely, but it happens.
Really??? Doesn’t seem at all likely as chances are they’ll be discovered by an adult woman 20 times over before an unaccompanied girl out with their Dad comes in. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen a man in the ladies anywhere. Did see a guy shaving in the baby change once though! Also, can’t she go in and then shout out ‘all ok’ to him waiting outside the door?

@BrawnWild Yes, there’s been a few reports of this or people saying they watch the toilet doors from a bench in the playground for example, but it was happening then. I’m not generally overly anxious about these things, but it did make me think.

If she is disabled it is.

Yes, sorry I didn’t mean to act blasé about the disabled toilets, someone mentioned they nipped in quickly with their child, but yes I see we shouldn’t. My thoughts was fixed on the thought of the men deliberately being in the toilet and I just thought of safety

Please could we not derail the thread as it was initially about the safety of young children

I understand your concerns OP,
I work in a busy store and have been asked several times by concerned dads to go into ladies and check daughter is ok. I am more than happy to do this as l had similar concerns when my sons needed to go and l was on my own. Most women would be happy to help especially if they also have young children with them. But don't be afraid to ask staff, and this goes for all parents, only takes a second to check everything is ok.

Exactly. Ds is disabled and needs the disabled toilets.

s

@bapplebanana

When you are dealing with a disabled adult who cannot use standard toilets, having to wait in a queue with 2-3 kids per family all using the loo can be very tricky, she can't wait 5 minutes let alone the 15 minutes I waited last weekend!

Haven’t you heard about ‘Katie’ who assaulted a young girl in the female loos? This is why we have to keep female toilets single sex, for natal women and girls only

Radar keys are for the disabled.I don't agree with the general public buying them online purely for the convenience of using accessible toilets.

No genuinely I haven’t. I don’t doubt it’s true but if you want to talk about keeping your girls safe from predators then probably the riskiest thing you can do is leave them alone with any of their male relatives. It’s not nice to think about but if you want to go down that road then it’s your own brother you should be worrying about and not the ladies loo in pizza express.

The thread isn't about trans issues.

Young children NEVER go to the loo's by themselves.

Mum- Take child and check the cubicle before you go in. Stay in the cubicle or just outside the door once checked. Or go to the disabled toilet.

Dad's-only the disabled toilet. Check and either go in or wait outside.

Kids never to go alone.

Please check the stats on rapes inside toilets/sexual assaults or worse.

Would you risk that because you can't be bothered to escort them?

Some disabilities mean a person has to go to the toilet very urgently so they shouldn't have to wait for an able-bodied person to use the disabled toilet.

Fuck off with ' just ' use the disabled toilet!