If you are a hugger,

[SheRaaaaa]

Why do you do it?

Why do you think people want to be hugged by you? 🤔

Do you also get in peoples spaces in other ways too?

If you do it 'unconsciously' or whatever other bollocks, can you pick up on when people don't like it and stop?

In case you didn't notice, I'm not a hugger and a couple of threads I've seen recently made me wonder why people do it.

Yabu - everyone loves a hug
Yanbu - keep your hands to yourself

This!

I absolutely bloody hate huggers.

I do not want to be hugged and I usually make it very obvious as I'm like hugging a board. Not that that would deter a serial hugger though.

Loved being hugged by my close family. But no one else.

I try not to get emotional in front of people as I don't want the awkwardness of being hugged by people I would rather not be hugged by.

I hate my personal space being invaded.

I love a hug but I'm very conscious that other People don't so I wait until I get to know you.
There's no better or worse person to be than a hugger or non hugger. It's about respecting people for what they are comfortable and not comfortable with.

I'm a hugger but it's always situationally appropriate. Hate casual touch but love a hug. Me and my friends are the sort that when we meet up everyone gets a hug hello and goodbye and we'll casually sling an arm around each other if we're stood about. There's one of the bunch who isn't massive on hugs so I always ask first before going in. My family are all huggers too but my fiancé's family isn't. It always feels super weird turning up for dinner and not hugging someone you've known for 8 odd years.

I hate at work when someone says "I'm a hugger" and opens their arms. Especially if it's a client. I'm in a BD/account owner type role so have to be nicey nicey relationship buildy and generally I like people and it's fine, I just don't want to squeeze them!

I love a hug and like to hug other people but only family and friends who I know like it. Have had and given a hug at work a few times if someone is upset and I know they don't mind.
I don't hug random people that would be weird. My DD2 is autistic and hates physical contact (unless it's me, DH or DD1) so I'm really aware that you should only hug someone if you know they don't mind.

I’m a hugger from a family of huggers, my close friends are also huggers and so are the majority of my colleagues. I think I just attract my own kind! I’m pretty good at reading who would appreciate a hug and who wouldn’t, and have never accidentally hugged a non-hugger.

Hugs are lovely. I am a big fan.

I don't hug people that have indicated they don't welcome it, whether by pulling back a bit or saying something. Body language is pretty clear usually. But I do love a good hug.

I hug people I know well if I know they like hugs, physical touch is something all of us need and I like being affectionate.

If it's someone I don't know as well I always ask when greeting them/say goodbye if we should do a hug or not.

I don't hug people in the winter though due to flu and other viruses - it works pretty well 😄

My kids have said many times that they wish the 2m covid rule was ongoing.

I loathe it. Why do I want your body pressed up against mine? How is that nice? Now I'm going to be able to smell your perfume/fabric softener/shampoo etc for hours, plus it feels weird.

I hug my kids (with consent), and if a friend is upset and it feels like they really need it I'll offer a hug, as much as I hate it myself. They usually decline because they know I don't like it myself, which I suppose is why they are friends!

Seriously, one of the worst parts of my dad's death were the unsolicited hugs. Shitloads.

For those of us who hate them, there's a set amount of time fit a social hug (thank you, QI!). Three seconds, then disengage. Or slap them.

Haha love a good hug me. I only ever do if I can tell it's going to be well received but it makes me feel all warm inside

I love a hug, but I don't force hugs on others or put people on the spot by asking for a hug. My family and close friends are all huggers too, but with people I don't know well I won't hug them unless they initiate it. I wouldn't want to make someone uncomfortable.

I work in an environment where hugging is the norm, so if someone is having a difficult day, or has some good news, or if two people just haven't seen each other for a while then a hug is likely to happen. But with a new colleague I wouldn't automatically assume it was ok to hug them, until they initiated the hug or I'd seen evidence that they are a 'hugger'.

I've always made it very clear to my DC that they don't owe anyone hugs or other physical affection, whatever the relationship, they can say no. The same should apply to adults.

I'm not a hugger generally and I only hug 2 of my sons
DS1 doesn't like it, so I don't
YANBU

I don't have anyone touching me, apart from my OH and children, not even my parents.

If someone asked me, or just went in for a hug, they'll get a straight no.

I had a colleague who hugged everyone on the team every single morning.
We all hated it.
Once I hit 50 or so , I found a voice that said ' I'm really sorry X but I'm not comfortable with hugging..'

Her response was to tell me that everyone needed a hug and if she didn't get a hug then it meant that they didn't love her as much as she did them.

It was so difficult.

I'm a shoulder patter but only if it's a good friend and they are in distress.... even to dc I tend to awkwardly pat a shoulder, I really liked it over covid when all physical contact stopped....I don't like shaking hands, and can't stand people 'in my space'....obvs crowded trains etc are different, but I loath being cheek by jowl with folk.
I'm good a 'reading' people though so as soon as I get the 'hug' vibe I mention I haven't put deodorant on and they really don't want to hug me!

I'm glad there are huggers out there. I went several years without any physical touch and it was awful.

I hug close friends, a couple of work colleagues, and some newer acquaintances. Not family so much, it's not something we grew up doing so feels weird with them.

Interesting all the huggers claim they respect people’s boundaries and all the non huggers still seem to have to keep fending them off.

My friends and I are very huggy, but I don't hug people I hardly know. And I don't like it ehem strangers/mere acquaintances try to hug me. That's just weird, and makes hugs meaningless imo.

Even worse are air kissers/cheek kissers - fuck off you pretentious knob!

I don't see why asking is so odd.

You seem upset, blah blah blah... would a hug help?
Thanks but I'm ok
Alright

I used to volunteer as a Samaritan, obv you'd never just hug someone but asking of someone would like one / one would help rather than can I hug you makes it about them not you so easier to refuse

Obviously the desire for a hug has to be reciprocal. I generally offer a hand to shake, with maybe the other held out slightly, then take my cue from the other person. That's if I want to offer a hug myself, of course, but that's rare. Most times, a smile and handshake is sufficient.

I must admit it's almost a given now to greet and goodbye with a hug .
I do it so as not to appear standoffish but I don't like it .