Closed Practice, for girls aged 10-16.

[JaneorEleven]

My DD plays sport on a team (all girls Between 10-16 approx, think sync swimming). She’s been on the team for a year, and it’s time for tryouts and to sign a new contract if she gets a place.

One of the new stipulations on the contract says “Coaches have the right to Closed Practices. This means parents or spectators aren’t allowed in the building during practice.” I’ve attached a screen print of the exact wording.

My DD is 11, and this doesn’t sit right with me. I’m a Brit in the US, so UK law wouldn’t apply. But surely this isn’t typical for a sports team is it? To have some practices where parents are not allowed in, when the gIrls are still quite young. The coaches are 2 women and 1 man, if it makes a difference.

It wasn’t in last years contract. A few other parents have voiced their concerns, but we’ve yet to do anything. Tryouts aren’t until next month, so we have time. My DD adores this sport, and all the parents get along and socialise as well (not Dance Moms) so it’s not something I want to give up without a fight.

I’d really appreciate your thoughts, and even some wording on how to push back on this.

I'm guessing cheerleading?

Speak to your daughter again about feeling safe and what type of touching, etc is not acceptable.

Ask whether there is CCTV on the practise area and whether any coaches are alone with just one child. I would think not.
Large groups of children in unlocked areas with three coaches should be able run in such a way that the parents are not worried.
Speak about your concerns directly with the female coach. And ask about how to contact them during training in an emergency.

The suggestion was that the clothing the girls wear during swimming was part of what could attract the wrong type. I’m my DDs sport they’re very well covered up, so there’s no risk in that regard.

Twitchy is a good description of the responses I’ve heard from other parents. It’s the complete turnaround to how we normally do things, without an explanation, that’s made some of us twitch.

Thanks for all the responses, I’m reading them all. I’m hoping that there be a chance some time soon to just ask for the reasons behind the change. A reasonable explanation could change the concerns we had.

I can imagine they've had issues with the parents being present during practice.

Seems fine to me. Parents weren't allowed in to watch swimming lessons when DS did it as it distracted the kids.

This might be a good thing. My daughter did dance and hated it when other kids parents wanted to watch a lesson.

More than half the girls on the team are in Elementary school, age 10, 11 or 12 (if they’ve been redshirted). In the US, I’d say the children are babied more than in the UK, start school later, finish High school later, so the girls are young for their age. I’m British and see the difference between US kids and my UK nieces.
We aren’t pushy parents at all, there’s no avenue for us to demand a team spot, the girls either have the skill set or they don’t.
We sit on the bleachers to watch but it’s not swimming. They fully covered up during practice.

Thanks for this. It’s sound advice.

and thanks for all the comments on the thread. I’m gonna try and sleep now.

"how we normally do things" sounds like parents might be a little too involved, possibly.

It'll be up to the coaches how they want to run the program, and you can choose to participate or not. I'm not sure that parents really have the right to be consulted on all the changes that happen in schools, extra curriculars, etc in the way that they think they do. Yes an explanation might be nice but it might just make it a much bigger deal, and you aren't going to be told the real reasons if it's things like parents making girls feel self-conscious or changing the dynamic, or someone else needing particular safe guarding, or whatever.

And you say that a reasonable explanation "could change your concerns" - it sounds like you've already come down on the side that this is wrong and you don't want it to happen, without really explaining what you think is going to happen, or really considering some of the things people have said about how different children are without parents around, and how the dynamic of the situation can be very different in terms of team bonding and freedom to try things and so on.

I think you risk making it into a bigger deal than it is, and potentially losing the team anyway, if there is this much discussion amongst parents already about it. It doesn't sound like there is much trust in the coaches, and they may well not want to stay in a situation where that is the case.

I have a vision of cheerleading, probably in the same innocently misguided way that Americans think London and Edinburgh are only a short hop away.

I'm still not sure whether your issue is safeguarding or an obstacle to parents socialising. Either way, most of us have said it's perfectly normal, particularly for anyone over 8.

It's probably just so they have a way of being able to train if needed without having nightmare pushy parents intervening, but in any case ask the coaches how this new policy will comply with Safesport's Minor Athlete's Abuse Prevention policies. They should have guidelines around all one-on-one interactions between coaches and students being "observable and interruptible", and all of the coaches should have completed Safesport training recently.

https://uscenterforsafesport.org/

I think @CoffeeBean5 makes a good point. I've been on the sidelines of sports, where parents have screamed and shouted, almost abusively. It's not on.
I suspect it's to stop some of this - and also to stop parents badgering coaches to change decisions, etc., because 'little Johnny definitely played better in practice, then Fred did'....

I wonder if you can flag this with the coaches, and ask them to explain more. I suspect if it's clearer on their rationale, fewer people would be against it. As you say, you trust teachers to work with your kids without supervision from parents!