To have snapped at this woman

[Iwasonce]

Had a slightly hellish trip to the doctors today where both my toddler and baby were screaming. As I was trying to get them out I dropped my car key and it went right under my car. I had to lie on the ground and use an empty water bottle in my car to try to get it out. A woman stopped and asked if I was all right and I briefly explained, and she started giggling and saying oh dear. I rather curtly said I was glad someone was finding it funny. I now think I was probably really rude so wondering what the mn consensus is.

Tbh I think her response was a bit rude. She didn't stop to see if she could help you, just to be nosey.

If it helps, I would undoubtedly have snapped at her too OP.

If you run into her again I guess you can apologise/explain but otherwise, it was a bad day. Let it go and try to relax a bit now.

I would have reacted the same OP.

Asking whether you were okay was offering to help.

Asking if you were OK does imply that she was willing to help if you weren't, doesn't it? No-one asks that for shits and giggles.

I have to say it feels like you’re wanting a bit of a row: it isn’t a big deal.

Non-adversarially I promise - if feels that way to me about you! You've nit picked every comment I made!

I've agreed with you she was annoying, but you were also (a bit, and understandably) rude.

I only said 'it's not the end of the world' to convey my view it wasn't a big deal either way as I've explained twice now I didn't say you were saying so.

I don't know what else to say? You posted wanting opinions - and I don't think you're especially UR.

Hope rest of your day went a bit better 😊

Exactly. Sounds like she offered to help, you didn't respond in a way that suggested you did so she laughed it off sympathising with your situation and you've really overreacted.

@SaltyCrisps No, Lady asked if she was alright, OP briefly explained, then the lady laughed. The lady could have said 'is there anything I can do?' after the brief explanation rather than giggle.

Sorry OP, she defo was annoying and hopefully learnt something from this interaction. Perhaps she'll be more helpful next time.

So if she really was offering to help, then why did she stand and laugh when OP told her what had happened? I don't think laughing at someone when they are stressed and upset is helpful - in fact, I think it's quite rude and unkind.

No, not nit picking, just that if someone says it’s not the end of the world it’s fair to say that no one said it was it isn’t a massive deal but I was just idly wondering about it.

It isn’t a big deal but in the moment I was a tad flustered and felt bad for leaving the kids crying. Being laughed at did feel a bit like it was finding my stress amusing. And I do fully accept that wasn’t the intention BTW.

I’d have probably snapped too, in that situation, OP. If it’s any consolation, a car hooted at me while I was waiting to cross the road last night and because I was hot & bothered and not remotely in their way, I stuck two fingers up at the driver. It was only when I got home that I realised it may well have been someone I know hooting to say hello… we all have our moments…

You were outside the doctor's surgery, which gives it a different context. Perhaps she approached dreading you'd collapsed and instead it was just car keys – so she laughed that it was something stupid and not a cardiac arrest or an asthma attack or a faint.

Let's hope she was a mum and recognised another mum's frustration, and that next time she encounters someone face-down in a surgery car park she still has the guts to approach.

I think most likely she felt a bit awkward or embarrassed, or just didn’t know what to say. I think it’s very unlikely that somebody who is habitually rude or unkind to other people in trouble would have stopped to ask whether OP was okay. Think about it. Does it seem likely? I don’t think so.

I would have had the same reaction OP. Stressed and on the floor when some asked your ok then laughs when you explain. It’s not what you needed in that moment.

i too would have over thought it after and wondered if I was rude but I bet she realised you were stressed.

@Iwasonce And this is why, as a somewhat socially inept person, I always walk right by p@eople who are upset :( but I do have a look to see if they make eye contact and seem like they want you to come over. I wouldn't walk past then.

Perhaps it was someone nosy? Not everyone has altruistic motives.

Oh, people who giggle when someone else is obviously having a complete mare are the worst. If you can see someone’s clearly stressed and struggling to do something with two small kids in tow, have an ounce and empathy and don’t chuckle at them. She was the rude one, not you. I’d have been a lot sharper with her than you were.

I bet she also cheers and claps when she hears a waitress drop a tray of drinks too. Tedious.

Surely anyone with an ounce of sense knows that this wasn’t a funny situation. I think your reply was perfect.

You were not rude.
Why didn't she offer to help? Standing there and laughing was rude.

I have thought about it, thanks, and I think someone who says ‘Are you Ok?” and then just laughs at your misfortune, instead of expressing sympathy or asking if there’s anything they can do to help, was probably just being nosy rather than genuinely caring whether the OP was OK.

Not really sure what you want from this OP, it sounded like a stressful situation for you and clearly none of us were there. I just assumed you were feeling a bit bad about how you reacted but it seems not. Fair enough, but you also don’t know what kind of a day that woman was having or what was going on in her life so probably a bit unfair to judge her unfortunately timed laugh as finding your stress amusing.

OP I would have snapped as well. You were on the floor struggling under a car with a baby and toddler clearly upset and she comes over asks if you’re ok and then laughs. I’m on your side OP! I would have been irritated as f*.

Poor you what a mare. Its just one of those things. Can you see the funny side now though? That it's a mildly amusing terrible parenting day moment??

I think it is pretty rude to laugh at someone struggling in a situation. It may have been an unintentional reaction but that is also the case for the op snapping so either both were at fault or neither were but I certainly don't think the op was any ruder than the other woman.

She did express sympathy. She said 'oh dear' and she probably didn't offer to help because picking up car keys isn't really a 2 person job.