Asked to stop breastfeeding

[MsCoco]

Recently we went on holiday to a caravan park down by the south coast. The caravan park is really aimed at families - a petting farm, soft play, kids shows etc. We were in the swimming pool area - there’s a kiddy splash pool and a toddler swimming pool, the whole place is filled with young families. We’re playing in the toddler pool and my youngest DD needs a feed, she’s 6 weeks old, so I exit the pool and sit on the side to feed her whilst watching DH and our other children play.

I’m breastfeeding and a lifeguard comes over to me and tells me I have to stop, I’m not allowed to feed and I have to go to the changing rooms to do that. I was a bit taken aback and just said ok and stopped feeding, and he then went over to another lifeguard and said ‘I’ve told her’.

I’m genuinely interested to hear thoughts - was I wrong to breastfeed in this scenario? I was very discreet, and felt quite embarrassed to be told off. Why would they have this policy?

If they aren't they soon will be. I am actually well read on world news and losing the ability to go to school is not "unfortunate". Some women have committed suicide because they can't attend university/school.

This line always makes me laugh as I fill up my breastfeeding pearl-clutching bingo card.

I breastfed wherever I liked , believe me, it was peace i was seeking, not attention.

(after all, every other routine thing has limits as well),

Limits that make sense I abide by. Limits which are based purely on tradition or other nonsense, I ignore unless compelled by law to abide by them. And if the law doesn't make sense, I campaign to change it.

There is literally no reason that makes sense why a woman can't breastfeed in, on, or near a pool if she is happy to do so. It harms no-one else, it make no appreciable difference to the hygiene of the situation, it is a non-issue. People only make it one because it involves boobies 😮and because it provides a golden opportunity to woman- and mother-bash, the national sport. If anyone can provide a legitimate reason that stands up to even the most cursory logical scrutiny (n.b. the hygiene one is not it for the reasons stated already) then fine, but otherwise there is no reason for any woman to bow to this entirely social pressure to retreat and conceal, because the law is on her side.

It’s frankly demented and shows their beliefs in breastfeeding aren’t actually about infant feeding, and making it a routine part of life (after all, every other routine thing has limits as well), but about enjoying brow beating anyone who disagrees in order to appear the most vocal ‘feminist’ and ‘advocate of women’. Forgetting the people they’re being downright rude and nasty to are also women

Also this? I am an advocate of women's rights. Not all women everywhere and every view they hold or decision they make... because that would really be demented.

Just because you personally are a woman, doesn't mean you can't be very, very wrong. And sexist.

Quite! And also highlights your original point about societies.

A public place refers to anywhere 'the public' are allowed to go. The vast majority of places are privateky owned, but the public still use them. Any rules a private owner might make won't override a law that protects babies and their mothers.

I think you’re wrong and sexist. You seem to have a very defined view of what you find acceptable in other women and brow beat them when they don’t meet it. Your constant @-ing me and aggressive responses go far beyond polite disagreement and make you come across as very unpleasant rather than just a passionate defender of women’s rights.

This ‘you may agree with me 99% but if it isn’t 100% then you’re a terrible human being’ will gain you no friends and will make people not want to listen to you. I’ve already switched off so this will be the last time I respond to your (many) messages to me.

You did everything right. You were courteous enough to get out of the pool and you have a right to feed in public. I’d be complaining

I'm not @-ing at you, I'm quoting what you say with a view to disagreeing with it. I prefer to actually address what's been said, specifically, than blurt out random POVs which I could just as well have said to the wall and not engaged with other human beings. Sorry you find that 'aggressive' and unpleasant. I just think perhaps you don't like being disagreed with. Which begs the question why you post on this notoriously argumentative board, on this notoriously contentious and impassioned issue.

I'm not the one saying that women breastfeeding in the pool is unacceptable, that's you. If you can tell me one thing I've said I find 'unacceptable' in other women, please do quote me (or 'aggressively @' me, as you would define it).

Pools do have strict rules and need to test the water etc. They do ask for everyone to shower before going in, but no one does.
I would imagine milk or baby sick would seriously disrupt the chemical levels in the pool.

Would you? really? about 20 ml of milk/baby vomit in a 30,000 litre pool? 'seriously disrupt' the levels?

I see the OP hasn’t been back to clarify whether she was sitting by the pool, or on the edge with her legs dangling in the water, but my local outdoor pool doesn’t allow anyone to sit on the side dangling their feet in - not anything to do with breastfeeding, it’s just their rule (not sure why).

However, if the OP got out of the pool and sat on chair or something to feed the baby, and the site just has a problem with breastfeeding in public, that’s obviously terrible behaviour from the site.

As for whether it’s acceptable to breastfeed in a pool, my view is that if nobody else is allowed to eat or drink in the water for reasons of hygiene and water quality, you shouldn’t feed your baby in the water either. And I really do not agree with people who seem to think that vomit is somehow harmless and fine just because it emerges from a baby rather than an adult. It isn’t. It’s a human being’s regurgitated stomach contents; it doesn’t make it any more hygienic because it’s ‘just milk’ or ‘they’re only a baby’. Your baby’s sick might not bother you, but nobody else should have to deal with it. If a baby puked in the pool they’d absolutely have to clear the pool to empty it - just as they would if an adult did.

But absolutely fine to feed a baby by the pool on dry land, of course.

It wouldn’t ‘seriously disrupt the levels’ but if anyone throws up in a pool, baby or not, they’d have to empty the pool. A toddler’s turd doesn’t ‘seriously disrupt the levels’ either but they’d still have to get everyone out of the pool and deal with it.

A lot of Mumsnetters seem to think that anything expelled from the body of a baby is somehow sterile and harmless and made of moonbeams and rose petals. It’s not. It’s puke, shit and piss just like the puke, shit and piss that emerges from an adult. It’s not somehow cleaner.

Holy moly
What 'cause'?
I'm just feeding and comforting my child.
I'm not doing it for me.
I'm not doing it for/to annoy you
I'm doing it for him.

Is that wrong?
Do people really believe that is wrong?
Why's that?

Full info my boy is 2.5 now, shows no signs of self weaning. Breast feeds on demand. Most of the time this is morning and night and we are at home. But every now and again it's out and about, so that's where it happens. Never had any problem- or so I thought... am I pissing people off left right and centre???

As long as you won't actually in the pool I think it's illegal for them to even ask.

Of course it’s not wrong. I’ve made myself perfectly clear, I think breastfeeding is fine and dandy in virtually every scenario bar where there is a hygiene issue, such as vomit in a pool. You know this, you just want to feign ignorance and make out I’m ‘anti breastfeeding’ even though I am also a breastfeeding woman.

I installed sided with the Op but now I'm thinking is it really hygienic for the baby to eat by the side of a pool?
A bit like eating in a public loo. Yuck.

When my friend was going through chemo she was told not to enter pool halls because of the amount of bugs in the air.

So really its probably not good for the baby to eat at the side of a pool. I've assumed Op exited the pool and didn't mean sitting at the edge with feet dangling.

That was meant to read initially sided

Thanks to everyone who has responded, it’s lovely to read so much support and helpful advice.

To clarify, I was sat in a chair feeding - the chairs were already there provided by the pool so I didn’t see the harm in using one. It was nice for my other children to still be able to shout ‘look at me mum’ etc as they played, rather than have me disappear off.

Following suggestions, I contacted the management and have received a full apology and reassurance that staff will be trained, as they agree I did nothing wrong and should have been free to feed if I wished, so I’m pleased I reached out if it stops another mother facing this experience.

Excellent outcome OP.

Well done!

Fantastic well done OP. This is why it's so important to call this stuff out. Thank you.

Everyone wibbling on about posset in the pool: she wasn't in the pool! She was sitting in a chair, poolside, so she could feed her baby and keep an eye on her children in the pool. There is nothing wrong with that.

Yes, but we didn't know and we were hypothesising on her sat at the edge of the pool. Now we know, and there is absolutely no problem with sitting in a chair away from the pool edge.