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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to stop breastfeeding

229 replies

MsCoco · 09/08/2023 21:21

Recently we went on holiday to a caravan park down by the south coast. The caravan park is really aimed at families - a petting farm, soft play, kids shows etc. We were in the swimming pool area - there’s a kiddy splash pool and a toddler swimming pool, the whole place is filled with young families. We’re playing in the toddler pool and my youngest DD needs a feed, she’s 6 weeks old, so I exit the pool and sit on the side to feed her whilst watching DH and our other children play.

I’m breastfeeding and a lifeguard comes over to me and tells me I have to stop, I’m not allowed to feed and I have to go to the changing rooms to do that. I was a bit taken aback and just said ok and stopped feeding, and he then went over to another lifeguard and said ‘I’ve told her’.

I’m genuinely interested to hear thoughts - was I wrong to breastfeed in this scenario? I was very discreet, and felt quite embarrassed to be told off. Why would they have this policy?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
babbscrabbs · 10/08/2023 00:00

PurBal · 09/08/2023 21:25

Breast feeding in public is protected under the equality act. They broke the law by asking you to stop.

This.

prh47bridge · 10/08/2023 00:01

I haven't read the thread, but you should definitely complain to the management. The lifeguards broke the law. It is illegal to ask a breastfeeding woman to leave a public place. You should never be made to feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding. If the management support the action of their lifeguards, remind them that treating a breastfeeding woman in this way is a breach of the Equality Act 2010 and could land them with having to make a sizeable payment for unlawful discrimination.

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/08/2023 00:13

It really depends on if they'd do the same if a mum was bottle feeding her baby by the pool. If they would then I don't see an issue personally.

Sick in the pool would mean having to close it etc so I can see why they would ask no one to eat by the pool, including breastfed and formula fed babies. It's the same rule for everyone.

HaveSomeIntrospect · 10/08/2023 00:35

it may be legal but….

Why have you got your 6 week old baby in a public swimming pool?

i would want to completely wash anything my baby was putting in his or her mouth. The thought of putting my breast, straight from a public pool, into my baby’s mouth makes me feel sick.

Btw I breastfed both my kids, in public in the U.K. and abroad and never had issues anywhere, very convenient actually.

Trulywonderfulworld · 10/08/2023 00:53

You can breastfeed where ever you like as long as you’re not fully exposing a breast.
It is illegal to ask a breastfeeding mum to stop
I would make a serious complaint to the owners and demand an apology.
Extract from nhs web

Asked to stop breastfeeding
Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/08/2023 01:02

CherryCokeFanatic · 09/08/2023 23:59

Who breast feeds on the edge of an indoor swimming pool? Strange.

A mother with a hungry baby? 🤦‍♀️

emz393 · 10/08/2023 01:02

HaveSomeIntrospect · 10/08/2023 00:35

it may be legal but….

Why have you got your 6 week old baby in a public swimming pool?

i would want to completely wash anything my baby was putting in his or her mouth. The thought of putting my breast, straight from a public pool, into my baby’s mouth makes me feel sick.

Btw I breastfed both my kids, in public in the U.K. and abroad and never had issues anywhere, very convenient actually.

I agree.

I also think out of common decency to not have your tit out at a public pool, pool side

I know it's a normal thing (I've breastfed both my children for 2 years each) but I just think a certain level of discretion should be kept especially around other children

Ponderingwindow · 10/08/2023 01:15

Please formally complain to management. Ask that staff be retrained.

ignore The posters trying to disparage breastfeeding at the pool, in public, or just at all. The ignorance continues to astound.

Lancrelady80 · 10/08/2023 02:25

Jamtartforme · 09/08/2023 21:54

I’m a big fan of breastfeeding and am currently breastfeeding my second who is only 4 months at the moment. But no, I don’t think people should be breastfeeding in swimming pools. I think we all know a baby is most likely to puke in the couple of minutes after a feed, and I don’t want to swim in a pool with another woman’s breastmilk regurgitated into it.

Show quote history

My baby with reflex was perfectly able to bring back what certainly seemed like a full feed (though I suppose it can't have been) up to two hours after a feed. 😣

Unless your pool has a "no babies" or "babies only in toddler pool" rule that's a chance you take, I'm afraid. (I didn't take him to a pool at that stage, but some women might.)

I wouldn't like it either, though!

BadNomad · 10/08/2023 02:29

Six weeks old is tiny. I'd be more concerned about her catching something from consuming the water than anything else.

Coyoacan · 10/08/2023 02:35

I always wonder about these scenarios and legality though. Legal to breastfeed "in public" but technically this is a private establishment who can make their own rules?
(Not agreeing with them but I wonder if this is how they get around it)

If that were the case, then cafés and shopping centres could ban breastfeeding, which would mean that breastfeeding mothers would have to either stay home or bottlefeed.

TossacointoHenryCavill · 10/08/2023 02:39

Have all these people claiming they’ve never seen anyone eat or drink poolside never been to a hotel with a pool bar? A bar selling snacks, maybe chips and sandwiches and cold drinks can be food poolside at thousands of hotels the world over. If there was some kind of limit for food and drink, the lifeguard would have said so. Asking OP to feed in the women’s changing rooms clearly shows this was someone mistakenly thinking you’re not supposed to breastfeed in public. Tell management OP, they need to have a word with their lifeguards.

6WeekCountdown · 10/08/2023 05:58

emz393 · 10/08/2023 01:02

I agree.

I also think out of common decency to not have your tit out at a public pool, pool side

I know it's a normal thing (I've breastfed both my children for 2 years each) but I just think a certain level of discretion should be kept especially around other children

Show quote history

You've breastfed yet still think of breasts as sexual objects rather than a means to feed your baby, discretion around other children eh 🤣? Having fed 3 children for 2 years+ each (still going with my 2 year old) my older 2 children don't think it's anything out of the ordinary, it's normal, maybe we need to normalise breastfeeding if you feel it's something children shouldn't see. Also I'm not sure how you breastfed but I tend to put my nipple in my babies mouth so you don't actually see anything, just a babies head.

I'm so glad I've never come up against such nonsense in the nearly 6.5 years I have breastfed.

Zanatdy · 10/08/2023 06:04

If you’re sitting on the edge of the pool. Understandable, from a vomit point of view. Also agree with comment about such a young baby and a chlorine breast! I’d want a quick shower before feeding my baby.

BadgerB · 10/08/2023 06:39

This makes me very sad/envious. Back in "prehistoric" times when I had young babies, if I went to my parent's or in-law's house I had to go up to a (cold) bedroom to breastfeed. And a feed can take a long time with a young baby.
Too easy to decide it wasn't worth the effort

Duckduckie · 10/08/2023 07:23

I am very pro breastfeeding however I need more details. You can’t breastfeed (bottle feed or eat a sandwich) while in the pool or sat on the edge of a pool.

So for me it depends what sat on the edge of the pool means, completely out the water and away from the pool where you would eat a sandwich then they need an email to management as it’s completely wrong.

Sitting on the edge of the pool and could contaminate the water, the life guard needs more tact and should have explained the issue. Offer a chair outside of the pool.

Flittingaboutagain · 10/08/2023 07:24

6WeekCountdown · 10/08/2023 05:58

You've breastfed yet still think of breasts as sexual objects rather than a means to feed your baby, discretion around other children eh 🤣? Having fed 3 children for 2 years+ each (still going with my 2 year old) my older 2 children don't think it's anything out of the ordinary, it's normal, maybe we need to normalise breastfeeding if you feel it's something children shouldn't see. Also I'm not sure how you breastfed but I tend to put my nipple in my babies mouth so you don't actually see anything, just a babies head.

I'm so glad I've never come up against such nonsense in the nearly 6.5 years I have breastfed.

Show quote history

Just wanted to say if you have time please become a bf peer supporter! We need more mums like you!

JanieEyre · 10/08/2023 07:24

You should write to the owners of the park and suggest they train their staff about equality rights for breastfeeding mothers.

JanieEyre · 10/08/2023 07:26

So for me it depends what sat on the edge of the pool means

OP didn't say she was on the edge of the pool.

Pixie2015 · 10/08/2023 07:28

I wouldn’t want to go to a site that did not allow feeding poolside - especially as a lot sell drinks / snacks poolside

Wonkyboobs · 10/08/2023 07:31

I was asked to stop breastfeeding in a pool too. I argued the toss but was told (as others said) that my baby could throw up in the pool. My 2nd baby literally never threw up she wasn't a sicky baby... I was pretty annoyed but didnt take it further... I would after researching as it makes no sense but this was 8 years ago and I was young and a new mum. If you've got the guts just refuse to move I'd say.

I was "strongly encouraged" to move to a private room in a supermarket once too but I just feigned absolute confusion and continued to feed my baby in a supermarket cafe (don't you think you'd be more comfortable? "NO I am very comfortable thank you!!")

WeWereInParis · 10/08/2023 07:34

I just think a certain level of discretion should be kept especially around other children

Why?
And there is nothing to suggest OP wasn't being discrete anyway, is there? She wasn't walking around topless.

DappledThings · 10/08/2023 07:40

WeWereInParis · 10/08/2023 07:34

I just think a certain level of discretion should be kept especially around other children

Why?
And there is nothing to suggest OP wasn't being discrete anyway, is there? She wasn't walking around topless.

I don't know why either. I was with DD and her friend (both 5) the other day when her friend's mum was feeding their baby. DD knows about breastfeeding, she knows she did that and her and her friend both had dolls they stuffed up their tops to be pregnant then brought out and were very sweetly cradling them to their chests and said they were feeding them.

Lovely to see it normalised.

Thoughtful2355 · 10/08/2023 07:50

id be complaining, they arnt allowed to do that!!! your supposed to remove your kids from the pool so you can feed your baby if your on your own? how ridiculous, i can get not feeding a baby IN a pool, but beside it is fine!

TakenRoot · 10/08/2023 07:56

OP

I really think you should contact the holiday park and copy in Head Office.
Tell them that Section 17 & 18 of the 2010 Equality Act protects your right to breastfeed in public areas and it is discrimination to have been told you could not.

Tell them that you found the incident humiliating and distressing and ask what is their company policy and staff training about breastfeeding mothers.

I am furious that a young male found himself able to tell a woman what to do and treat you as if you were doing something shameful.

It’s a shame your thread got de-railed in an argument nothing to do with your OP.

I would be really interested to know what response you get from the company.