Asked to stop breastfeeding

[MsCoco]

Recently we went on holiday to a caravan park down by the south coast. The caravan park is really aimed at families - a petting farm, soft play, kids shows etc. We were in the swimming pool area - there’s a kiddy splash pool and a toddler swimming pool, the whole place is filled with young families. We’re playing in the toddler pool and my youngest DD needs a feed, she’s 6 weeks old, so I exit the pool and sit on the side to feed her whilst watching DH and our other children play.

I’m breastfeeding and a lifeguard comes over to me and tells me I have to stop, I’m not allowed to feed and I have to go to the changing rooms to do that. I was a bit taken aback and just said ok and stopped feeding, and he then went over to another lifeguard and said ‘I’ve told her’.

I’m genuinely interested to hear thoughts - was I wrong to breastfeed in this scenario? I was very discreet, and felt quite embarrassed to be told off. Why would they have this policy?

Ours does as well. I think there’s a bit of creative fiction going on here about faeces in swimming pools, sick being ‘scooped out’ rather than the pool being cleaned etc. There’s no doubt they’re pretty unhygienic but my local pool has always had to close for the day if somebody has been sick. I wonder how many customers they would keep if they just fished out as many chunks as they could with a net 🤢

You can normalise breastfeeding without it becoming something that has to be done everywhere at any time to prove this. In fact, trying to force this narrative won’t gain supporters, it will probably have the opposite effect. As will using such angry and personal tones every time somebody says something you don’t like.

I am furious that a young male found himself able to tell a woman what to do and treat you as if you were doing something shameful.

You’re now trying to create a narrative that doesn’t exist. This wasn’t an act of belligerent sexism, it was within the context of working at the pool and clearly being instructed by the other employee to tell her.

They can't really force anyone, what are they gonna do, manhandle your breast back in and frog march you out?

‘he then went over to another lifeguard and said ‘I’ve told her’.’ For all we know the other lifeguard may have been female.

Either you breastfeed a six week old anywhere anytime or you can’t go to that place. With older babies and toddlers you can put them off till later, but anywhere that you can’t breastfeed your 6week old, you can’t go at all. You’ve probably been around a breastfeeding infant more often than you think. Most people don’t even notice it happening.

But she can and did breastfeed, she just got out of the pool briefly to do it. They shouldn’t have asked her to stop because she wasn’t in the pool (unless sat right on the edge). But of course there are places it is inappropriate to breastfeed - job interviews, in swimming pools (although around the edge is fine), industrial kitchens if you are preparing food for others. It’s a very short list really but trying to brazen it out and saying that if you can’t do it in those places you’re being shamed/oppressed is downright silly, and makes breastfeeding supporters look unreasonable and petulant.

Do they allow others to eat poolside? If not, then I think it's a fair request from them. A pool is not the same as a park, cafe, library etc. There are strict hygiene requirements.

Strict hygiene requirements? At a public pool? You can't seriously believe that 😂They are disgusting places, filled with piss, snot and plasters. The changing rooms have verruca residue all over the floor.

Yet it is a breastfeeding woman that is unhygienic. Righto!

@6WeekCountdown

My 5 year old didn't think of it as anything abnormal either nor now my 3 year old but some children are not aware of breastfeeding and I don't think it's appropriate to have your breasts out in public.

I've always had a shawl regardless if you cannot see my nipple.

Let's not pretend that some people don't do performative feeding just to "prove a point" and I don't think a children's swimming pool is the point.

I'm not saying OP was doing that, and if she was sat at her lounger breastfeeding I don't think she's done anything wrong but this is the society we live in and I'm sure if she used a little blanket to cover a little bit she wouldn't have been told to go. And if that was the case then that is wrong.

They are disgusting places, filled with piss, snot and plasters.

Sounds like the perfect place to feed baby their lunch. 🙄

Well according to this thread, it is the breast milk that is the disgusting part.

Not one person said breast milk is disgusting. I saw people say vomit in the pool is disgusting. Which it is. It doesn't matter if it comes from a baby or a drunk adult, vomit in the pool is unhygienic.

🤣🤣🤣 okay, whatever you say!

They may close for the day but they are not draining, sanitising, and refilling the pool!

No, not all opinions are valid, because some opinions are incorrect, illogical or unreasonable. Everyone is entitled to hold their opinion, that does not mean it's valid.

valid
adjective

1. (of an argument or point) having a sound basis in logic or fact; reasonable or cogent.
2. "a valid criticism"

Exactly this. People seem to believe it is possible/desirable to make their lives completely sterile - this is simply not how the real world works.

But we try don’t we? We don’t encourage people to defecate where they like, or bring food in the pool, or fly tip ‘because the world isn’t sterile anyway’. Or do you think we should?

how does it harm other children to see a baby feeding?

That's what the chlorine is for.

😂😂 to right. Anyone who thinks that a pool, or any calibre, is hygienic must be delusional!

I swim a lot and haven’t often been ill. however I’m under no illusions that it’s not got poo, wee, sick, skin fragments etc in it. Baby swim nappies don’t capture much, just the solid lump!

The good thing about the legal protections provided by the Equality Act is that we don't need to 'gain supporters'; so we don't have to bow and scrape to the presiding prudery to gain conditional acceptance of the totally normal act of feeding our babies when and where they are hungry. We just need to raise awareness and confidence among breastfeeding mothers that they are protected by the law so they don't end up feeling shamed and forced out of places they have every right to be. Hopefully this thread is doing that!

And also, I thought you didn't use public pools because of all the yucky fluids - so what do you mean by 'ours does too'?

Why on earth would you have your baby with you whilst preaparing food for others in an industrial kitchen???

I follow the leisure centre on Facebook as I go to yoga, they announce every time it happens. Sorry, there’s no ‘gotcha’ here.

Why would you have it with you when ‘swimming in piss and verruca juice’?

I didn’t think it was beyond your imaginings to think there could be mums running cafes or working as bakers who have small babies?