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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to stop breastfeeding

229 replies

MsCoco · 09/08/2023 21:21

Recently we went on holiday to a caravan park down by the south coast. The caravan park is really aimed at families - a petting farm, soft play, kids shows etc. We were in the swimming pool area - there’s a kiddy splash pool and a toddler swimming pool, the whole place is filled with young families. We’re playing in the toddler pool and my youngest DD needs a feed, she’s 6 weeks old, so I exit the pool and sit on the side to feed her whilst watching DH and our other children play.

I’m breastfeeding and a lifeguard comes over to me and tells me I have to stop, I’m not allowed to feed and I have to go to the changing rooms to do that. I was a bit taken aback and just said ok and stopped feeding, and he then went over to another lifeguard and said ‘I’ve told her’.

I’m genuinely interested to hear thoughts - was I wrong to breastfeed in this scenario? I was very discreet, and felt quite embarrassed to be told off. Why would they have this policy?

OP posts:
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5
Neyon · 09/08/2023 22:53

@herewegoroundthebastardbush You definitely a way with words (not being sarcastic)! I agree with pretty much everything you've said. 🙌

RedHelenB · 09/08/2023 22:54

jackstini · 09/08/2023 21:30

He was wrong
Discreetly feeding by a family pool is fine

He wouldn't go and eat his dinner in the changing room!

Is it a chain place? I would call head office and ask them what their breastfeeding policy is, and to send it you in writing!

He would nt eat his dinner by the pool either though.

Jamtartforme · 09/08/2023 22:55

calmcoco · 09/08/2023 22:53

You breathe in and swallow other people's spit and snot all the time.

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Only my kids Grin If they would stop shoving their hands in my mouth and sneezing on me it would be greatly appreciated

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 09/08/2023 22:55

I actually thought poolside was one place you couldn’t BF (or bottle feed or eat or drink yourself).
I’ve never seen anyone having a snack poolside.

I’d be more concerned that you got out of the chlorinated water and immediately started BF.

Chlorine can be quite bad for such a young babies skin and lungs, I wouldn’t even have them poolside at that age.

The fact that not only would it be sucking on your nipples but it’s nose and mouth would be directly on the skin breathing in the chlorine.

Jamtartforme · 09/08/2023 22:57

@Itsnotrightbutitsok that’s why i didn’t ever take my babies swimming, it just seems like a big soup of chemicals and bodily fluids, not good for the very little ones.

calmcoco · 09/08/2023 22:57

Jamtartforme · 09/08/2023 22:55

Only my kids Grin If they would stop shoving their hands in my mouth and sneezing on me it would be greatly appreciated

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No, because everyone breathes out moisture, the germs that spread diseases. If you stand near me, your breathing in my expelled air + moisture from my mouth/nose.

jackstini · 09/08/2023 22:57

@TreasurePlanet - no difference no; I was just repeating what the OP had said, she mentioned being 'discreet' in her first post

I'm fine with anyone breastfeeding in public and agree in a bikini you just pop them on!

I was lucky that in 5 years of breastfeeding I never had anyone say anything. I had one dirty look in a restaurant once and my Dad shut that down very quickly by asking if they had a problem we could assist with? Cue head shaking and not looking over again

Rumplestrumpet · 09/08/2023 23:02

Gosh the thread went a bit off piste didn't it?!

In answer to your Question OP, you weren't unreasonable but didn't need to do as you were told - I'd have smiled and thanked him for his advice, but politely informed him that I'd be staying put until baby was finished.

However, I think they probably got themselves mixed up, and were applying the rule of no topless sunbathing/swimming. Perhaps they need reminding of the law. Don't put up with it and don't let it upset you. Enjoy your hols

Yellowlegobrick · 09/08/2023 23:04

Im amazed this actually happened.

Unless its something slightly more nuanced. Have they got a rule requiring that swimsuits/bikini tops be worn? Swimwear can be quite hard to feed more discretely. If dropping your swimsuit to feed made it look like your whole top half was naked, they might be being idiots and thinking theyve got an issue because they think a rule has been broken and can't work out that they can make an exception

NotMyDayJob · 09/08/2023 23:04

I love these threads where everyone gives an ultimately pointless opinion because it doesn't matter, because legally OP has the right to feed there.

And if you don't like bodily fluids NEVER get in a public pool. Breast milk is the least of your concerns.

StarDolphins · 09/08/2023 23:05

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 09/08/2023 22:52

Well there we are then. In which case, why do you give a fuck if women feed their babies in them??? You know, since you don't use them. Could it be because you get a bit of a thrill from shaming other women?

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Don’t be so ridiculous. All opinions are valid even if they differ from yours. Calm down.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 09/08/2023 23:05

NotMyDayJob · 09/08/2023 23:04

I love these threads where everyone gives an ultimately pointless opinion because it doesn't matter, because legally OP has the right to feed there.

And if you don't like bodily fluids NEVER get in a public pool. Breast milk is the least of your concerns.

There ARE exemptions to the law though. No matter how much you stamp your feet, the exemptions still exist

Pocodaku · 09/08/2023 23:07

CoachBeardsJane · 09/08/2023 21:24

Breastfeeding in the swimming pool? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breastanddbottlefeeding/1545835-Breastfeeding-in-the-swimming-pool old thread but interesting answers.

OP had got out and was sitting on the side.

NotMyDayJob · 09/08/2023 23:10

AlfietheSchnauzer · 09/08/2023 23:05

There ARE exemptions to the law though. No matter how much you stamp your feet, the exemptions still exist

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I'm the foot stamper?

This situation would not have been an exception (however much you stamp YOUR feet)

CapEBarra · 09/08/2023 23:11

Sunnysummeragain · 09/08/2023 21:30

Legally you are allowed to breastfeed where every your baby/child is allowed to go. A baby could vomit at any time in a pool and bf women can leak milk into the pool at anytime and considering all the other less hygienic things in a pool this is not a health concern.

There is lots of inaccurate advice on this thread.

If someone vomits in a pool it has to be drained, sterilised, and refilled - rendering it potentially useless for up to two or three days. So yes, you should not be feeding babies where he or she could potentially puke into a pool - but that’s common sense. Why would you want to risk your babies puke going into a pool anyway?

ukgot2pot · 09/08/2023 23:11

DaisyThistle · 09/08/2023 22:05

This is something that really sets me off. You were not being unreasonable. There is nothing unreasonable in a woman feeding a baby. Anywhere. Under any circumstances. If it would be OK to whip out a bottle of formula then it's OK to whip out a breast. Anyone who thinks it's wrong has sexualised and fetishised the female breast. It is designed to feed babies. That is its purpose.

I don't like this phrase but in this instance, those lifeguards really need to educate themselves!

This.

SD1978 · 09/08/2023 23:14

Unless he (assumed wrongly) that no food and drink is allowed in the pool area, and was enforcing that, he's a dick. Giving the benefit of the doubt, he may have thought that also means feeding babies. I wouldn't necessarily take it personally, but would inform the caravan park staff to make sure their staff is educated on what they can and can't ask to stop happening at a pool. If other people were eating and drinking in the pool area- then he's just a massive arse and needs to be fully disciplined..

Libmama · 09/08/2023 23:25

Pretty sure it’s illegal for the lifeguard to tell you to stop feeding. You were absolutely allowed to feed there whether your boob was on show or not!

This whole boobs are sexual objects crap is what is wrong with this society. They are there to feed your baby. Not for Jill’s uncle Jeff to stare at or to bring Phylis out in a sweat. If baby needs feeding you bloody feed them.

JazzyBBG · 09/08/2023 23:39

I always wonder about these scenarios and legality though. Legal to breastfeed "in public" but technically this is a private establishment who can make their own rules?
(Not agreeing with them but I wonder if this is how they get around it)

Mandoidi · 09/08/2023 23:47

AlfietheSchnauzer · 09/08/2023 23:05

There ARE exemptions to the law though. No matter how much you stamp your feet, the exemptions still exist

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What are the exemptions?
Been breastfeeding for 2.5 years and just want to make sure I haven't accidentally done a boo boo

DysmalRadius · 09/08/2023 23:52

CapEBarra · 09/08/2023 23:11

If someone vomits in a pool it has to be drained, sterilised, and refilled - rendering it potentially useless for up to two or three days. So yes, you should not be feeding babies where he or she could potentially puke into a pool - but that’s common sense. Why would you want to risk your babies puke going into a pool anyway?

Show quote history

Perhaps you're frequenting a different class of pool to me, but this had not happened at any of the pools I regularly go to or any I have worked in. I know it's nice to think that they wouldn't just scoop it out and carry on, but no pool would ever be open if they followed this protocol.

backtogrey · 09/08/2023 23:58

Rainbowshit · 09/08/2023 21:23

When you say sit on the side were you partially in the pool?

This as it makes a difference. Partially in the pool is not permitted.

elliejjtiny · 09/08/2023 23:58

I've breastfed 4 of my 5 children, 3 of them when they were toddlers. I would say it's not appropriate to either breast or bottle feed either in the pool or less than about a metre away from it. I know a baby can puke anywhere but they are much more likely to just after a feed. You need to be able to feed and wind them properly and wipe their mouth etc before getting back in the pool. Unless my children were particularly pukey, messy babies and most babies can have a feed without getting milk over themselves and the person feeding them.

CherryCokeFanatic · 09/08/2023 23:59

Who breast feeds on the edge of an indoor swimming pool? Strange.

Missscarletintheconservatory · 10/08/2023 00:00

I would contact management to complain and suggest that they get staff training ASAP. Next steps would depend on their reply.

I have and do breastfeed my toddler anywhere and everywhere and have never been asked to stop or had any negative comments. The more people see breastfeeding going on the note normalised if will become. The lifeguards can be educated on the law and why they should not have intervened.

I wouldn't have any issue with someone else breastfeeding in a pool if they wanted to for some reason but that may be based on my experience of my baby who didn't puke except when actually sick, in which case we wouldn't have been out and about.

Re earlier comments about bodily fluids it wouldn't be pleasant to swim in any but once breastmilk or formula milk has been puked up, then in my mind it's puke and only slightly less gross than pee, then poo. I guess that's why there's a lot of chlorine in some waterparks/pools.