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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is being unreasonable, me or my manager?

213 replies

Kowaii · 08/08/2023 21:44

My line manager absolutely loves our job. Which is fair enough.
She made a weird comment on Saturday about the person who worked there before me didn’t “care” about the job, just came in at 9 and left at 5 and that was that. I thought this was odd as it’s literally a 9-5 job.
On Monday morning I got to work and had a load of emails from her that has been sent the previous night. I thought maybe the time was just wrong in the emails.
Today she’s called a meeting with me asking why I didn’t respond to the emails sooner. I said I didn’t see them until I got to work.
She questioned why I want signed in to my work stuff on my personal phone as I then would’ve seen the email was urgent and responded.
Turns out she expects me to basically be “at work” pretty much 24/7. I’ve said I absolutely will not be looking at emails on my time off and directing my work number to my personal number (wtf!).

She seemed genuinely shocked by this. I said I’m paid 9-5 so I will be working 9-5 and no, I don’t think about work when I leave the office. She seems to have made her life about this job.

Aibu to think this is crazy and I’m not being a twat by not having any of my work on my personal phone? I don’t see what I could do from home anyway without my work computer in front of me!

OP posts:
Roastingcoffee · 08/08/2023 21:45

She’s insane and heading for burnout

Roastingcoffee · 08/08/2023 21:45

what do you do?

MariaVT65 · 08/08/2023 21:47

Yeah she’s in the wrong. I make a point of not having any work stuff on my personal phone and I do not think about work outside of my paid hours.

Doggymummar · 08/08/2023 21:47

Depends what your job description says. If you are supposed to be on call then you are being unreasonable, if not your manager is.

calmcoco · 08/08/2023 21:47

Unless you have a very high level of responsibility she's being ridiculous.

Do you work for s big organisation?

At my work her behaviour would get her bollocked, we're explicitly told we don't have to respond to emails put of hours, except for senior staff & leadership.

WhateverMate · 08/08/2023 21:48

YANBU

I work with someone who has weird sleeping patterns and often sends work emails at 2am 😁

But she changed her signature so it says in bold that she does not expect replies outside of anyone's working hours.

DeltaAlphaDelta79 · 08/08/2023 21:48

I refuse to have anything work related on my personal phone, ever. If work want me contactable out of hours then they give me the devices to do so, but I'll either be taking the time back or claiming overtime. I am contracted for X amount of hours and that's it. My job isn't of a level where I need to give extra time and it certainly doesn't pay enough to either.

WhateverMate · 08/08/2023 21:49

Doggymummar · 08/08/2023 21:47

Depends what your job description says. If you are supposed to be on call then you are being unreasonable, if not your manager is.

The OP says she's paid to work 9 - 5.

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 08/08/2023 21:50

Providing the role doesn't require you to answer emails in a shorter timeframe then you are not unreasonable. Tell your LM that you care about your job but you're contracted (and paid) to work 9-5, and those are the hours you'll be working to maintain a healthy work/life balance.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 08/08/2023 21:50

Anyone I know that is supposed to check their emails 24 7 gets paid an absolute shitload as they have an hourly on call fee. I'd tell her I'd consider it if that was on offer!

LittleMonks11 · 08/08/2023 21:50

She needs to sort out her work life balance. You are right.

ShinyBandana · 08/08/2023 21:53

If you are in a union then raise this with your union rep

Original poster
Kowaii · 08/08/2023 21:53

Not on call. Monday to Saturday with a day off in the week on a rolling rota. She’s there before everyone arrives and is still there when everyone leaves. Madness.

OP posts:
qwertyuiopasfghjklzxcvbnenk · 08/08/2023 21:54

Definitely report her to HR as unless it's ok your contract which it doesn't sound like it is, she is being completely unreasonable. Prob breaching some rules here as well!

Businessflake · 08/08/2023 21:55

This depends on the job. I know people who’s working hours are 9-5 but are paid £250k a year so yes, they are expected to be available outside of their work hours.

Original poster
Kowaii · 08/08/2023 21:58

I’m on 35k so it’s a no from me!

OP posts:
ithinkhesawus · 08/08/2023 21:59

How long have you been in the job?

Original poster
Kowaii · 08/08/2023 22:01

3 months.

OP posts:
cansu · 08/08/2023 22:02

I agree with you. I have for many years worked like your manager. I decided recently that I would stop. It is not appreciated and is not good for your wellbeing. I still work hard and do a good job but I decided to put in some boundaries.

DinoRoar14 · 08/08/2023 22:03

I would email her stating that per your contracted hours you will be available Mon-Fri 9am to 5pm.

If she has an issue with that you'll want to stuck to email on one thread.

So if she speaks to you send an email

As per our discussion XYZ

And then forward them to HR asking them to clear up the confusion.

continentallentil · 08/08/2023 22:06

Unless you are on call over the weekend, she is being mad.

I do have a job where weekend work and emergences come in - in which case people text or call, and we get the urgent thing done.

It’s bad management to email over the weekend or late at night - emails should be scheduled for the next working day (there’s a button for this.)

I would gently follow up with HR - the women sounds like she is suffering from workaholism and is on the edge. Explain that she needs some guidance as a manager and some support as an employee. Frame it that you want to do a great job, and have a balanced life when you get home.

10HailMarys · 08/08/2023 22:10

Your line manager is an absolute dickhead.

Where I work, if you send an email after 6pm a little warning pops up to suggest waiting until ‘normal working hours’! And one of our directors who chooses to work out of hours a lot actually has a little note in his emails making it clear that if he emails you in the evening he isn’t expecting you to read or respond to it until you’re back in the office.

MrMucker · 08/08/2023 22:27

She wants you to respond to out of hours e mails, and is irked because she doesn't see a response out of hours?
Just add an out of office auto reply to your email before 9 and after 5. Add that you'll endeavour to respond at earliest convenience within office hours.
She'll see that response.

Businessflake · 08/08/2023 22:40

Kowaii · 08/08/2023 21:58

I’m on 35k so it’s a no from me!

Well that’s fair enough!

Asiatoyork · 09/08/2023 02:47

It’s bad management to email over the weekend or late at night - emails should be scheduled for the next working day (there’s a button for this.)

This practice really confuses me, but I think it’s because I never assumed in my working life that if someone sends an e-Mail out of hours that I would be expected to pick it up, let alone respond. I might add a note to my e-Mail sig or something as I didn’t realise people feel pressure to respond out of hours!