To leave two 15year olds home alone overnight

[homealone5]

Name changed for this due to family being here, some tiny details changed too so it's not too outing.

I have 15-year-old twins who are very sensible and quite independent. They travel to school on their own (separately) in different boroughs, one comes home herself about 7pm after her after school activities, the other stays home alone until I get home from work, sometimes late. They have been very comfortable being home by themselves for years during the day and at nights when I get home about 11pm. I was a keyworker during lock down and they were home alone all day in 2020 (age 13).

I want to take on a couple of night shifts and they have been assuring me that it's okay to go away overnight. I work weekend mornings sometimes and often leave home at 6am before they wake, and I see them around 1130am when I return.

At what age would you think it will be okay to leave children alone overnight assuming there are no special needs and no risk taking behaviour? If you had 15 year old twins would you leave them home overnight if you are going to be an hour away? I remember babysitting other people's kids overnight when I was 15 😅

I know there have been posts about what age to leave children home alone. I am asking now about how you feel now in 2023 and what you think is okay.

AIBU to leave 15year olds at home from 5pm Saturday night to 11am Sunday morning?

I think once a month yes fine

Not every week esp a Saturday

A Ring doorbell May put peace in your mind

If you say no friends over at all then no worries

There is no legal law as a parent you are left wide open in terms of risk. From what OP is saying she would be doing this every week due to work. It's a hard no from me I'm a single parent but I think to expect to do this every single week isn't right. I think teens still need an awful lot of input at this age!

I have 15 year old twins too, they are great kids, both behave well (apart from normal teen frustrations) and I trust them to make good decisions. That said, I wouldn’t leave them overnight as I would be more worried about them accidentally telling a friend they were on their own resulting in ‘friends’ arriving unplanned and situations rapidly spiralling out of their control. I trust them - I just don’t know their friends well enough to say the same!

Risk of fire or burglary is real . Walking dead or whatever else that woman accused me of is not. I myself would be scared in my 50s if that materialized. Ergo my 15 yo won't be being left alone anytime soon

YANBU
i leave my almost 15 yo at home sometimes because he doesn't want to stay with his dad (who lives ten minutes away) and would rather stay home. I have no concerns about local kids having a party (not all teenagers move in circles where that's likely) and I trust he's smart enough to deal with any major emergency.

also FWIW I am a social work manager in a CP team and make decisions about what is 'safeguarding' on a daily basis. I think that makes me less risk averse because I look at actual likelihood of harm, not theoretical fear based likelihood. I could be wrong about my judgement of course but I think it's fairly sound.

Only You know your children and i their personalities , my son my goodness not a chance would I leave him, not even when he’s 18! He’d have a house full and well I dread to think, but my daughter I would have left her no problem, not sociable, quiet, quite happy on minecraft

OP you know how your children are and if you feel comfortable with it then leave them . My three I would most definitely have left at 15 .

Thank you all. Lots to think about.
Like I said, it would only be once a month but it's new territory for me.

I'm a CP social worker and agree as long as they are comfortable with the situation and you trust them to act safely it is absolutely fine! You know your own children. I do agree with the SW manager who said we are less risk averse though 🤣

At 15, I was the sensible one compared to my 22yo brother. We were left for a week, but it was my presence that made DM happy to go, not his. He was the party animal which I never was (nor my friends).

Fire can (rarely) happen, but by that age, it's more how ingrained you've been trained to deal with an emergency than actual age that will make a difference. My former neighbour destroyed his home after starting an old-style chip pan fire, then putting water on it. He was in his 70s. Maturity of years did not prevent or minimise the incident, and young people are tend better trained in how to deal with incidents and have fewer high risk habits like smoking, chip pans or ancient electricals. Some adults will never be relatively calm with an incident regardless of their age and a few years won't solve everything.

At 14-15 young people go off on adventures with Explorers/ Rangers/ DoE with some training and very light supervision checking in. Navigating around the countryside, camping and dealing with group dynamics under stress is more challenging than single nights at home with a sibling.

Ultimately it's about personality, and sensible young people who've gradually been trained up to be responsible are fine to be left with their consent.
All 15 year olds? No, but many are sensible enough to happily look after themselves and their home safely.

@homealone5 - well, you can a,ways see what Daily Mail readers think 🤭

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12397533/I-want-leave-sensible-twins-girls-15-home-work-nights-trust-people-warning-reported-social-services.html

OMG! We made it into daily mail!😂

You’ve had sensible advice from social workers and safeguarding leads (as well as the dramatic fire and brimstone nonsense!) Hopefully you’ve been reassured that it would be absolutely fine, assuming no other relevant factors.

That’s NSPCC advice and one that the government doesn’t adhere to itself. Many, many young teens in care are left for days without any adult supervision. I’m not saying this is right, but it is not a legal matter to leave 15 year olds for a night. It’s purely a parenting decision.