To leave two 15year olds home alone overnight

[homealone5]

Name changed for this due to family being here, some tiny details changed too so it's not too outing.

I have 15-year-old twins who are very sensible and quite independent. They travel to school on their own (separately) in different boroughs, one comes home herself about 7pm after her after school activities, the other stays home alone until I get home from work, sometimes late. They have been very comfortable being home by themselves for years during the day and at nights when I get home about 11pm. I was a keyworker during lock down and they were home alone all day in 2020 (age 13).

I want to take on a couple of night shifts and they have been assuring me that it's okay to go away overnight. I work weekend mornings sometimes and often leave home at 6am before they wake, and I see them around 1130am when I return.

At what age would you think it will be okay to leave children alone overnight assuming there are no special needs and no risk taking behaviour? If you had 15 year old twins would you leave them home overnight if you are going to be an hour away? I remember babysitting other people's kids overnight when I was 15 😅

I know there have been posts about what age to leave children home alone. I am asking now about how you feel now in 2023 and what you think is okay.

AIBU to leave 15year olds at home from 5pm Saturday night to 11am Sunday morning?

They'll be fine

I started to leave DS occasionally overnight at 16 and have the same rule for DD, though she’s not 16 yet so I’ll see now I feel when she is

I wouldn't leave mine in case of fire or burglary

Its absolutely fine to leave them, ignore the safeguarding comments- talk about dramatic!

I have 15 year old twins and know they would be absolutely fine left on the own overnight with my contact details and neighbours to call on.

I haven’t left them yet principally because of social pressure, it’s not the done thing, - which is coming out in some of these replies rather than my own knowledge and sense.

You know your kids best.

I would. They are happy with it, they have each other, and they've had plenty of practice.

Leaving two 15 year olds for a single night doesn’t seem disproportionate compared with someone 3 years older living on their own in a strange city for 3 months at a time.

I left it till mine were 14 and 17, certainly wouldn’t have done 15 and 12, but 15 and 15? I don’t know

I would leave them if sensible, they will be fine! They are far more at risk getting home late in the dark from their school activities

I would.

Will you be doing that every Saturday night when they're 17? You'll be the party pad!

They sound very sensible OP and they have each other for company. I have twins (now adults) and I wouldn't have left them overnight at 15 as one would have had all her mates round for a party. The other would have been fine, and if they had both been like her then I would have done. You know your kids best.

The school leaves your 15 year old unsupervised on a trip overnight. Would that be a safeguarding risk? Yes of course it would. Why is it different?

It's different because the child on a school trip would not be in their own home and would therefore not necessarily know what to do in an emergency.

Also people who are supervising children on behalf of a parent have an additional duty of care because it's not their child and because they've carried out a rigorous risk assessment to set rules, which are based on the least capable child in the group. Parents can make decisions about their child's safety and their own risk assessments can be more flexible and based on their own child's ability to cope. For example, if teenagers on a school trip are given the freedom to explore a town, they will typically have to stay in pairs or groups the whole time, because there might be one or two kids in the class who aren't safe on their own. But your own teenager might be perfectly capable of exploring a town alone and you can therefore let them do that as a parent, when they are in your care.

Assuming there was

A.) Adequate food and the home was secure
B.) No significant SEND, health issues or history of risk behaviour that meant the 15 year olds were particularly vulnerable
C.) A trusted adult who was local and available to the DC in the event of an emergency and they knew how to contact them

Absolutely nothing.

Maybe as a one-off in an emergency, but definitely not on a regular basis.

NSPCC advises not to leave under 16s alone overnight.

I wouldn’t do it on a Saturday night - maybe midweek. I would worry about others hearing they are the ones with no parents and being pressured to be the hang out house and then they end up with people they don’t know turning up
to party.
I’ve known of a couple of people who’s normally sensible children ended up with uncontrollable parties and gate crashers when all they had done was ask a couple of friends over while parents away. Trashed houses and police involved. Not great.

Of course you can leave a 15 year old overnight. The NSPCC guidelines are batshit.

People who are saying the law says you cannot are wrong. I expect you know that. That said the guidance is that children under 16 should not be left.

I assume given the work you do that they cannot contact you if they become concerned? Is there a trusted friend or family member or neighbour nearby who they can call if they become concerned during the night? If there is then in the context of what you say I think it would be fine. Assuming they get on. If there is not someone reliable they can contact and/or they do not get on then I would not.

I would not leave one child on their own at that age. My DDs are now 22 and 19. I would not have left either of them as at 15 DD1 was very unwell and DD2 was a nervous girl who would have been uncomfortable. However DS is 12 and I can envisage a situation where I might leave him and a friend together at 15 (perhaps if closer to 16 rather than just 15, though intellectually I’m not sure why I think this is important!)

I would... just about!

I have a nearly 15 DD. I don’t leave her overnight yet. On the odd occasion I’m nightshift and DH away with work she goes to grans or gran stays. If she had an equally sensible twin I’d leave them overnight. My DM lives literally a 2 minute walk away.

My parents used to go away Saturday to Sunday when me and my sister were 15/16 onwards. We had a lot of parties and there was a lot of alcohol.

Sorry but no way would I leave mine at that age.

That's not the same thing at all. I would leave my 15 year old alone at home but not in the hotel if we were on holiday. Similarly I can leave my 6 year olds unattended in the living room while I am in another room but a teacher cannot leave them unattended in a classroom. Different people, different places, different rules.

There's no legal age. Just guidelines. It's your judgement to make. I wouldn't leave my 16yr old because I'd have no house left.

Have a chat with them. Ask them what they would do if there was a problem etc and make an assessment based on that. Put some ground rules in - we have a no one in no one out rule if we're going out for a meal or something and the children are home. If you are doing it is there a close friend or neighbour you could tell and ask if they would be happy your twins having their contact number so if there was an issue your twins could call them?

Do people even believe the nonsense’s they actually post on here?

“safeguarding concern” and “the law”

Previous social worker for EDT children, this would even be on a radar , if no other migrating factors were raised.

There is no law on what age children can be left alone at however there is guidance.

I would OP, if you’ve put safety measures in place and have a detailed discussion with the teenagers on “what if scenarios” , then absolutely I would.

*wouldn’t even

Schools regularly leave pupils on DofE trips alone overnight.

Is there someone close by who could help if needed, or can you leave your job at short notice.