To leave two 15year olds home alone overnight

[homealone5]

Name changed for this due to family being here, some tiny details changed too so it's not too outing.

I have 15-year-old twins who are very sensible and quite independent. They travel to school on their own (separately) in different boroughs, one comes home herself about 7pm after her after school activities, the other stays home alone until I get home from work, sometimes late. They have been very comfortable being home by themselves for years during the day and at nights when I get home about 11pm. I was a keyworker during lock down and they were home alone all day in 2020 (age 13).

I want to take on a couple of night shifts and they have been assuring me that it's okay to go away overnight. I work weekend mornings sometimes and often leave home at 6am before they wake, and I see them around 1130am when I return.

At what age would you think it will be okay to leave children alone overnight assuming there are no special needs and no risk taking behaviour? If you had 15 year old twins would you leave them home overnight if you are going to be an hour away? I remember babysitting other people's kids overnight when I was 15 😅

I know there have been posts about what age to leave children home alone. I am asking now about how you feel now in 2023 and what you think is okay.

AIBU to leave 15year olds at home from 5pm Saturday night to 11am Sunday morning?

I did leave my sons (15 and 13) alone for 5 nights when I was hospitalised. They had plenty of food, got themselves to school , washed their uniforms etc and nothing bad happened. Obviously I had people they could call on to check in on them but no one close enough.

I would do it again although hopefully not because of hospitalisation next time.

I am sure some here would criticise me but what would have been the alternative? Burdening the care system with my sons when they are perfectly capable of looking after themselves?

Make sure they have food, a couple of ways of contacting you and a couple of local emergency contacts (neighbour, friends mum.) Get a ring doorbell, firmly explain to them that the doorbell is being monitored and any hint of any mates appearing they won’t be left alone till they leave home. Arrange for grandma / auntie / neighbour to call them to check in if you can’t.

I would do a trial run before committing to regular shifts but if they are happy with the arrangement and feel safe, and you feel safe then yes.

The law does not say that.

If they are fine with it then it's fine, OP. Full stop.

By bad when I googled it the gov website initially on the simplified blurb says the law say not to leave them overnight under 16, but when I opened up the page, that's just the nspcc guidance.

If they’re sensible and fine with it, and it sounds like that’s the case then it’s fine .

I would leave my 15yo but wouldn’t leave my 17yo who would have a party and get up to all sorts!

One 15 year old no, two that are sensible and happy to be left, yes they'll be fine.

I think for the odd night 15 is fine. My parents left me for 3/4 nights alone when o was 16 and there was only one of me! I think given they’ll have eachother it’s fine :)

You forgot about a zombie apocalypse or outbreak of the black death.

Are you saying you’ll be an hour away? Personally I think that’s too far for overnight.

When are they 16 ?
Personally we didn't until DS was 16, but to me it depends if they're just turned 15 or nearly 16.

I think the fact that there are two of them makes it even less of a problem. One alone might get scared. My youngest DS went away to uni when he’d just turned 18 and he seemed young for his age, too. He was fine. Leave it until they turn 16 if you have any doubts, but I don’t think they’ll magically be OK just for being a few months older.

Having this discussion with my 15 yr old DS right now. We need to travel away in the near future and he would be alone at the house for 24 hours. He is the most sensible 15 yr old ever. He thinks I’m being totally ridiculous that I don’t want to leave him and is insisting he’s staying by himself and is not going to his grans.

Reading some of the replies on here suggests he’ll be put into care if anyone finds out 🙄

No, they need to be 16 in my opinion.

At 15 they will.i. assume be going into.year 11 my 16 year old has just finished school.I would have left him.at15 as he very sensible andwould just stay in his room, gaming with his friends ,he fixes his own snacks and has recently been diagnosed with Diabetes,so.is very conscious of needing d regular meals
I guess it depends on the 15 year old.

Why does being 16 make a difference?
Do they suddenly magically mature on their 16 th birthday?

I left dd for a few days when she was a few weeks short of 16, after her GCSEs. I knew she would be sensible but was slightly worried about whether she would get up early enough to let the chickens out.
I came home to find she had got a job at a hotel and had been doing breakfast shifts all week!

With 15 I would do it if everything was pointing in that direction: sensible child, used to being alone, neighbour back up, you not too far away.
While 16 is not an absolute rule I would think of it as a rough guideline so with under 16 I would be thinking ‘how could I justify my decision to social services if anything happened?’

I left my 15 year old overnight when I went to London to do "the queue". He was fine. He was asleep when I left, woke around 3am and was messaging me, had some cereal and went back to bed. Then he made me a bacon sandwich which was ready when I got home.

I'm not sure if I would have left him regularly at that age though.

Admittedly a one off rather than regular, but I left ds2 home alone for couple of nights when he was a few months off 16.

He had neighbours in the stairwell that he could contact, and his Dad was an hour away.

He wasn't the sort to have a party or burn the flat down heating up his pizza (he sent me a photo of the cooker knobs to check he had them in the right settings).

The only trauma he experienced was his gerbils getting loose, and I was texting him suggestions on how to capture them which he did within a couple of hours.

If something did happen while you were away then I believe you could be held liable, but there's no law you'd be explicitly breaking.

I think it’s fine, they’re pretty self-sufficient kids by the sounds of it. I would just make sure there’s other adults to step in just in case something happens to you or them and you can’t get home.

I think I'd be more comfortable with seeing them after school before going to work - and maybe not a Friday or Saturday night (party nights!).
But logistically, I can't really see why having g had a 1 min conversation with them after school would actually make any difference!

Can you do it on a night other than a Saturday? Ideally midweek.

For me, the concern is that if their peers find out that they have a free house every Saturday night, then they will end up with a level of pressure to host things they may not be comfortable with- parties, drinking, boyfriends wanting to come over etc. I do think having it as a weekend night specifically leaves them vulnerable.

As a teacher, I would probably also pass it on as a safeguarding concern, as much as anything to cover my own back if something did happen. I wouldn't expect any action to be taken (beyond a quiet chat to check they were comfortable with it)- but it could be relevant information later on, e.g. if one of them entered a relationship with an older partner, etc.

So, to clarify, what legal powers do you think schools have to remove children or adults from abusive homes?

School pass information on to SS or the police, and they are the ones who can actually take action.

It's still relevant information for a DSL to know that a 15yo is in a house without an adult on a regular night of the week, because it does leave them more vulnerable in certain scenarios.