Rant about holidays with little kids

[YukoandHiro]

Fucking hate them. The absolute worst time of all. My DH isn't exactly a glass half full person so between us we're close to jumping out the window as we squeeze into another holiday rental and try to find some fun.
We keep doing it because we feel its important for the kids to see other places and get to the seaside but I come home feeling a total husk.
Reasons I hate it:

1. We always self cater because of dietary restrictions (kids', medical) but it means I do a fuck load more wife work/mental load than even falls on me at home
2. Eldest DC never bloody sleeps in another place so me and DH get zero alone time and she's always totally over tired
3. Someone is always ill. This time it's youngest DC with a fever. Which means I get no sleep either.
4. I'm bone crushingly bored. Of rain, of playgrounds, the freezing seaside, bloody UK hols in general, but refuse to spend so much money gojng abroad when the whole thing is a total shit show and I'd be worried about finding suitable meals for the kids all the time.
5. The constant bickering. At least at home their own toys distract them for a while or I can throw them out in the garden with a lot of water toys.

I travelled a lot before DC and I really miss a "real" holiday. Have just made plans to go away for two night with girlfriends in January and I'm counting down the SECONDS.

I'm waiting for the abuse now, "only got 18 summers with your DC" etc... but I honestly can't wait until they're teenagers. This is just throwing money away while being slightly miserable the whole time...

How old are they? It might be the last rubbish year.

I mean, you don't have to keep doing the same holiday if it's not fun. I found that if you can do something you enjoy the kids relax more anyway and then they are less likely to not sleep or get ill. Why not stay at home next year? Or rent a villa with a pool somewhere warmish which absolutely knackers the kids out. Still self catering but depending on allergies can just be help yourself to bread and cheese/ living off crisps for a week is not the end of the world. Or just don't bother, it's not compulsory.

My DC are young adults now but I could’ve totally written your op. My absolute sympathies.

What I’d add to your list is hearing other people go on about the same sort of holiday as if they were brilliant. They’re not. And I look back now and realise that those people were lying, or lying to themselves. Self catered holidays with young children, especially when the weather is crap, are absolutely shit.

We keep doing it because we feel its important for the kids to see other places and get to the seaside

Its really not. Kids will see other places just by going about their day-to-day lives, and the seaside is nice but not an essential.

Stop forcing yourselves on these holidays. Save them for when the children are older and don't need so much hands-on entertainment and when they're less likely to get bugs every 48 hours.

So don’t do it if you are just miserable the whole time?
Your life is in your control. You aren’t getting any points for being a martyr and your kids probably aren’t enjoying themselves if you are grumpy and miserable.

It is allergies - they are both epi pen carriers to multiple allergies so it's hard to eat out even in the uk (possible with planning but not simple, and the stress sometimes makes it not worth it). I've been too aperture to try abroad - hear so much about people on planes ignoring no peanut warnings, for a start - but we maybe need to just to go for it. The weather definitely makes everything much much worse.

Oh and they are 6 and almost 3.

From your description I’m not sure it sounds worth it. I’d rather take a holiday abroad every 3 years rather than a self catering in the UK with kids as it’s all the things you’ve said. I prefer day trips from home than all the packing, shopping and meal planning that goes with self catering in the UK.

Oh it’s so hard when they’re little. I remember once sitting in my bedroom in a caravan in Wales and just sobbing for an hour.

Honestly it gets much, much better in just a couple of years. Mine are now 12, 10, 8 and 6 and they can largely entertain themselves. We even got to sit on the beach this year and have a drink while they played I the sand for an hour and we didn’t have to stand up once. Hang in there, and maybe just go for city breaks for a couple of years? Hotel rooms, restaurants you can plan and a good walk around to make them tired?

I think that's very unfair. If you can't salvage a good time out of your holiday that's your issue. I remember the British self catering holidays with three young kids and honestly, I enjoyed them. Still do...although it's easier now ours are teens and a young adult.

I understand the 'busman's holiday' element of these things...same shit different location. But you know it's going to be like that. People aren't pretending that they enjoyed their holiday...they probably did!

How old are they? I didn't enjoy a holiday, of any sort, until my youngest was 4. Before that it was just a slog, all the same drudgery but without the convenience of being in your own home with all your own things.

YANBU at all. Mine are 8 and 13 now, and over the last couple of years I would say that things have significantly improved. Although I obviously still have to be the decision maker and planner and do the bulk of the actual work on holiday, I can say over the last couple of years there have been moments of actual enjoyment!

I'm a LP, which possibly makes things easier! No grumpy DP (and from your OP it doesn't sound that yours pulls his weight with the endless chores). Instead I have epic battles getting the DC to do their share though 🙄.

I have vivid memories of the first French camping trip I attempted when they were 3 and 8. We stayed in a fritefully naice campsite at a chateau in Normandy, full of wholesome 2 parent English middle class families. DS1 begged to spend his money on an Opinel knife, so I let him- on the proviso it was only to be used, supervised, for bushcraft type activities. When we got back to the campsite the little sod whizzed ahead and started chasing his little pack of friends, waving the bloody knife around! No sooner had I confiscated it than I was besieged by aggrieved middle class daddies being Highly Concerned about his behaviour. While this was occurring, DS2 calmly lowered his pants and took a dump on the manicured lawns right in the middle of the campsite.

We never went back to Normandy 😳

They're 6 and 3 and you feel you need to get them to different places and see the seaside? Honestly you're making your life more difficult than it needs to be.

Stay home where everyone is comfortable and there's less stress about allergies. Have days out with picnics. Then they will see new places. Kids will not remember the finer details of where they were but if you're all enjoying it then those feelings as memories will stick.

This sounds perfect!

Unfortunately they are unlikely to outgrow their food issues (severe allergies, epi pen carries) which makes restaurants in the uk possible but require planning and abroad absolutely not worth the constant anxiety and risk of making a mistake. Actually on reflection I do think it's the always habit to provide food all the time - never ever getting a break - that makes "holidays" the pits.

If you drive, France can be really great. Even campsite/mobile home holidays are more fun when it's not pissing with rain and the bread is good, and the West coast beaches are FUN and sitting outside while the kids are in bed (knackered from beach/pool) is actually pleasant. It's never going to be a gourmet's dream with small kids and allergies but that's ok. there are always chips for energy.

Honestly OP, I'd either stay at home or go abroad. Why is abroad such a scary food prospect when you're SC anyway? I'm gluten-intolerant and find a far better selection of GF foods in most foreign supermarkets than I do at home and at least the sun shines there.

If we'd decided on a UK holiday this summer I think I'd be suicidal, because endless rain is depressing when you're at home, but at least you're at home and haven't paid to be somewhere else. On holiday, it's enough to make you lose the will to live. I'd rather be tired and fed up in e.g. Spain, sitting in the sun, that I would in a rainy cottage in the UK. At least the booze is cheap there and you can get cheerfully pissed in the sunshine!

Maybe ‘salvaging’ anything isn’t my idea of a great holiday. But each to their own.

"They're 6 and 3 and you feel you need to get them to different places and see the seaside? Honestly you're making your life more difficult than it needs to be."

This is interesting. Does every else agree with this? My parents took me a lot of places as a child at home and abroad. I do feel like it made the person I am (in a good way).

You don’t need to go on holiday! My youngest is 3, we go somewhere for one night or two at the most plus a few day trips depending on the weather. They are content at home for much of the time. Wait until they are a bit older for a proper holiday.

Ready meals from Cook, plenty of down time, fish and chips on the beach, go to the cinema

We had plenty of UK self catering holidays with young kids and they were great. Sorry OP isn't enjoying it, but disagree with PP who said that all self catering holidays are terrible

I always held out for a house with a dishwasher. And, preferably, a proper freezer

Why not take a few hours each day for yourself. There is two of you swap over and at least you will have had a break.

Book in for a massage, coffee and book, visit a gallery etc. Give your soul substance. Take turns cooking, what happens if you were unable to cook.

You have to look after yourself first. I appreciate you are at the coal face but taking a bit of me time benefits everyone.

I have family who have need of epi pens , dairy, nut, egg - air borne sensitivity. They travel to eurocamps they found a few that provides them confidence in taking a break.

You can’t get pissed while supervising a 3 year old thought can you

Epi pen mum here too. We typically go abroad, although do go self catering, but we’ve found some really comfortable places to go, never too far from a hospital and have a preferred airline to travel with.

Mine are 9 and 7 now and tbh we love our holidays. The kids love the pool, we do day excursions (don’t do boat trips just incase). I think if you’re not enjoying the holidays you have, maybe try something new. Do your research and try somewhere with generally good English so you can explain allergies easily. I have translation cards which I take when we travel.

Our holidays are mainly a break from the norm for me, husband would happily forego and the kids would be fine with a caravan. But the more we go, the more fun it gets. Eating was really stressful the first time.

Tbh you are making things worse for yourself. Self catering is always more work but they have serious allergies so that part I do understand. I wouldn't bother doing a staying away type of holiday then. Instead I'd do lots of day trips instead so a day trip to the zoo or safari park a morning at softplay and lunch out, a visit to grandparents or garden centre, a cinema trip etc. They will survive without holidays away in the UK that none of you actually enjoy.

We do a lot of UK trips away but our kids don't have allergies and I refuse to go self catering. I'm happy staying at a premier inn where the kids have a decent breakfast and dh and I have only one room to keep clean. We try to organise one big activity like yesterday we were at drayton manor so today is a chilled day at a museum this morning and some shopping (if they are up for it) after lunch. If they start whining then we will ditch the shopping and go back to the hotel for a rest before dinner.

Don't make life harder for yourself.

We always do a villa holiday. Yes, there is the cooking, but I find it much easier to have breakfast whenever kids need it, snacks etc.
and sometimes is just beans or oven pizza.
but having our own pool and being able to be in and out of the house makes a big difference (loo, ice cream, snacks, toys…).
mind you, we always stay in places with a pool fence, and toys.
and sometimes we just let them watch a bit of telly while we still enjoy the pool.
i would totally hate it though in a place less nice than home, with rubbish weather, in another place in the UK. I think I’d rather stay at home…

We’ve just got back from a week near Whitby. 6 and 3. In a static. We were absolutely knackered but managed to have a nice break.

What about doing shorter stays places, most places allow that now rather than S-S.

Less time to get bored and need entertainment. But still see other places. Really basic meals.
I hope it gets easier as they get bigger. Like they will be able to entertain themselves longer, and pitch in with jobs.