AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

Exactly this. You know for a fine fact had their been an accident the parents would raise the roof and kick right off rather than questioning their parenting by allowing the kids to wreck havoc.

I am going to choose my words carefully as I have just had a post deleted for troll-hunting because I didn’t (and don’t) believe that an adult who grew up in the UK has never heard of a jam sandwich but I find it literally incredible that an adult booking a very special, blow-the-budget holiday wouldn’t clock that they could have maximised their budget and probably saved at least a third by travelling a fortnight earlier.

Does feel like many parents have just lost control. Our local outdoor pool post covid has a strict buy your lane for half an hour system. The number of times parents have not been able to get their kids out of the pool at the end of their slot and the next customer is standing there waiting is mortifying. They literally have to get the life guard / other swimmers to parent their older primary aged kids as they will not obey mum and get out of the pool.

Me too!

This is why I’d never take my kids to a ‘nice’ hotel. I wouldn’t inflict them on anyone.

DS has ADHD and is a nightmare for shrieking- he is told off for it constantly. Quite frankly, it makes my holiday incredibly stressful- even in kid friendly hotels.

thats why I stick to places where he can run around- you have my sympathy!

The intolerance and nastiness and sneering on this thread. Good God.

People complaining about kids playing in a swimming pool on holiday in the school holidays - how very dare they! Someone else complaining about school age children making a noise chatting and having fun whilst walking to school because they - presumably - have chosen to live near a school.

I like hearing DCs play. But if my DH and I want a child free holiday with peace and quiet, we choose an adults only hotel. It's a no brainer surely?

We didn’t actually pay double to travel - it was in Portugal and we live in portugal. It was an hour and half from Lisbon where we live

It was a sort nice posh in the countryside deal with spa etc. I think he was just thinking it would be a nice relaxing thing (I’ve been having a stressful time at work) for my birthday and not too far from where we live. Think he assumed there would only be a handful of families as not really loadsa kids activities apart from pool

Clearly not if people complained.

You paid for space in the hotel, not for the free pass to be as loud, rambunctious and obnoxious as you pleased.

Abiding by the expected & prevailing decorum is part of the social contract.

Yanbu op. I did an activity with a friend earlier and was totally inconvenienced by 3 kids throughout, while their mum told them countless times to stop doing the annoying and rude behaviour. They didn't listen. We left thinking badly of her and her kids unfortunately. You love your kids, others don't. Was plain dangerous as they were completely in the way and could have got hurt.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune the kids were being normal kids
infact my daughter is the least nosiest child you have met we struggle very much so with her and her confidence. She is not your boisterous child at all.
they were literally laughing / jumping under the water to catch their sinkers etc playing like children do.
we oaid for a child friendly resort so don’t expect kids to sit around a pool being quiet.

Adults only here. I won't tolerate other peoples feral brats

Normal kids don't need to screech, scream and splash in close proximity to other patrons.

And what if they canr travel earlier? Just because someone doesn't have children doesn't mean there aren't many other things going on to prevent them from going outside school holidays.

The entitlement of parents telling people to book outside school holiday time is awful, parent your child so they aren't shrieking about and running around dangerously. Why have kids if u aren't going to parent, thats part of the sacrifice u make wheb you have kids you are on the clock all the time u less u leave them behind with a childminder.

They could have travelled earlier. OP said it was a ‘rookie mistake’ and a genuine oversight by her DH.

I can only assume you are responding to someone else with the rest of your post as I certainly haven’t told anyone to book at any particular time. I am expressing disbelief that anyone who had the choice to pay less for a better experience wouldn’t do so.

Children enjoying a swimming pool on holiday isn’t bad parenting. If you go on holiday in the school holidays get an adult’s only hotel.

I have 2 kids and that behaviour is insane??? I would never ever do that. I always make sure everyone is at normal volume (besides as you say, when they cant help but be upset or cranky), stays in their seat and doesn't bother anyone. I was recently searching for hotels in Greece and if it didn't have a kids pool separate from the main one then I crossed it off the list because I would never dream of putting my kids in the main pool. I know adults want to enjoy that one and relax around it. I saw a beautiful hotel I wanted to stay in but it was very much, adults only, looking and I know people appreciate their peace. These people sound entitled and possibly don't spend much time with their kids. Maybe their nanny is on holiday or something. I would have complained to the hotel, honestly. Your opinions are very valid.

I’d say this is to be expected, and the reason we always go adults only.

You are being unreasonable.

You booked a family friendly hotel during school holidays, what were you expecting? There are many many adult only holiday options. Why didn't you book one of those?

This time we couldn’t have really travelled earlier unfortunately - I was on a really big stressful project at work that we had to get to the finish line so couldn’t take time off before that without screwing over my colleagues.

I think his thinking was - relaxing treat afterwards to unwind from that, coinciding with my birthday dates and that the place wasn’t really kid centric so wouldn’t be kid heavy.

To be fair, if we waited until the holidays were over then that’s also when the weather starts to decline. Not always ideal to align with school holidays especially if you want to go somewhere in particular if it’s not adults only. It was just in a really particular bit of portugal we’d discussed wanting to visit in the past.

But why would you expect a hotel in another country in Europe to do things the way you do in the U.K. In Portugal, Spain, Italy etc, people go out together as a family and children stay up much later. If you expect this, either holiday in an adults only place or holiday in the U.K. Don’t go to other countries and expect them to change their customs and ways for British people. It’s a different culture.

Children running around in a restaurant isn't acceptable. It's dangerous.

Children screaming and shouting at the pool is acceptable.

If you want kids to behave nicely in the restaurant in the evenings, you have to let them let of steam at the pool during the day.

Adults only resorts exist.

Out of interest, were the families mostly Portuguese?

@LaDamaDeElche I have no need to go adults only as would be holidaying with my children but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were restricted in a hotel advertising itself as a spa hotel. I am fine with that as I know my children are loud and splashing in a pool. obviously if someone has booked a family friendly holiday in the summer holidays then there will be kids around all the time but that isn’t the sort of place the OP booked.

For my holiday next year, the majority of the pools are for kids, the spa one is adults only. There seems entirely sensible to me.

Mix of nationalities but afraid mainly Brits and a few Americans! To be fair one family with a little girl who was a restaurant sprinter every single time we were in there - they were Spanish.

We’ve lived in a few european countries and always us Brits letting the side down! (we are british too)