AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

Perhaps YABU about the pool, but not the restaurant.

Swimming is an activity that tends to make kids be excitable and loud. It's also slightly harder to control them - my kids are still very little so I'm always with them closely supervising. They do still do some splashing and, yes, we get the odd shriekof excitement from one of the toddlers. With older children parents are likely to be at more of a distance, so won't always be able to intervene immediately if there's too much splashing. Obviously they shouldn't be running among the deckchairs though.

Obviously running in a restaurant is not acceptable. For a start its not safe! I have to admit, I can't always keep mind appropriately quiet (2 toddlers who can be a bit boisterous plus a 6 year old withintermittent hearing loss who sometimes inadvertently shouts). So I avoid restaurants for the most part. Very occasionally we do use one, and we try to go very early as although we bring books/crayons etc , my younger two are pretty noisy sometimes.

To the person who said her husband is and was a headteacher and kids behaviour has deteriorated over the years I think that’s true to a certain degree.

My DNephew (5) can be a little shit when he’s allowed to be, but his DF my brother doesn’t allow it. Of course he’s allowed to play, shriek and have fun but he’s been to nursery from a young age and now at school and he and his friends know what’s appropriate behaviour and what isn’t. Prime example at their school fair this summer, they spent time with their friends and nephew’s best friend’s cousins who were visiting (but a bit older). This was new for them with stalls, go karts etc but the vast majority of kids behaved well from what I saw. There was an animals section, food stalls, fairground ride. Yes, the best friend got upset when he lost at a throwing sponge game but he’s 5! When my nephew at his birthday party on same day was playing a game in the park with his friends of course they shrieked from time to time - it’s a park too! No one minded! But it wasn’t OTT.

There were kids when I was younger who behaved like little shits screaming a lot and as far as I recall we tended to avoid them as kids, unless it was just games and the teachers could tell them off. The parents seemed less visible in some cases but they let kids be told off if they misbehaved.

I’m not childfree. Again I brought my dcs up with manners.
I took them on many holidays. They were allowed to play and have fun. They were not allowed to run around in restaurants/bars/cafes under any circumstances. I didn’t drag them out so that I could carry on as normal. I took them to age appropriate venues. Not quaint tea rooms and evening cinema showings.
I was brought up the same.

As we don't have children we are probably less tolerant than many. But if you go to a family friendly resort, in school holidays, then there is almost certainly going to be excitable children around the pool. Consequently, we don't travel in school holidays (and my birthday can fall near Easter and if so I don't take a holiday on my birthday that year) and we pick the least family friendly resort possible.

YANBU. Part of being a decent parent is actually actively parenting your kids and being mindful of the impact they're having on other people.

When I take my toddler out to eat we sit at the table, he doesn't get to run around (it's not safe), and if he becomes a bit loud I take him outside until the food is ready. It's not fair on other diners to endure having kids running around, shouting, shrieking. It's just unnecessary. You teach children how to behave in restaurants. You sit down, have conversation, don't impinge upon the enjoyment of others. I bet those parents you describe would be the first to complain if their kid ran into a waiter and got hot tea spilled on them.

The pool thing, bit trickier imo. The racing around and shrieking and banging into your lounger is not on, again, kids need to be taught that you don't run by a pool as it's not safe, you walk, and you keep your voice to a reasonable level. Playing games in the pool, fine, though I can see why it's annoying for adults.

The shrieking/screaming thing is really noticeable nowadays, kids have always made some noise of course but the high-pitched, top of their voice shrieking isn't something that was always this bad. In our estate sometimes it's so intense you genuinely jump and would think someone was being hurt.

Next time, find an adults-only place, much more relaxing! Everyone loves their own kids, everyone should have the awareness to know that strangers don't want their leisure time ruined by other people's badly behaved kids.

I work in hospitality and the amount of kids left to run riot around the venue whilst their oblivious parents relax is astounding.

I unfortunately walked in to a toddler whilst running food once- obviously one doesn't ordinarily walk around looking at their feet. The kid went flying across the floor but was luckily unharmed. Of course I apologised profusely, but in the back of my my mind was thinking 'well...this wouldn't have happened if you were actively parenting your child!'

Book places with no child facilities. If uou book a hotel with a kiddie pool in hhe middle of the school summer holidays, what do you expect?

Okay so, can you please quote my post where I name called please? You might have a few issues finding it though, mainly because it doesn't exist.

TBH, I've reached my limit of frustration that some posters who disagree with my opinion that have completely invented things that I've said or seem to be writing quite aggressive posts to me and then if I reply - I'm labelled rude!

I've defended myself again one poster but I was very patient and only did this after she wrote about 15 posts attacking me and another poster - I believe she was the one name calling - labelling me 'snarky and sarcastic'. Seems like there is a double standard with some people on this thread who also seem to have some very selective reading skills.

Doesn't matter how many time I try explain it's not a 'anti-kids' attack or that there is a huge area inbetween 'the very presence of children' > 'kids misbehaving and ruining'. I don't hate kids. The main jist of my post was peoples huge amount lack of self awareness for others around them.

I've also tried to not be too petty in my previous posts and list every single incident but the whole four days was incidents like children climbing under our table at the bar, knocking over our drinks, riding a scooter into DP's leg, dive bombing into the pool and completely ruining my book and getting my phone soaked etc etc. I didn't want to get too specific previously but surely people can understand that I reached the conclusion that most of those incidents could have been prevented with a bit of parenting and people actually watching what their kids were up to.

Not one family. Not one kid. Multiple kids. Multiple parents.

I've defended myself again one poster but I was very patient and only did this after she wrote about 15 posts attacking me and another poster - I believe she was the one name calling - labelling me 'snarky and sarcastic'. Seems like there is a double standard with some people on this thread who also seem to have some very selective reading skills.

Thank you for being so patient. But you clearly don't like disagreement.

Pretty obvious the posters telling me it was 'my fault' to dare to go somewhere not adults only and 'kids will be kids on holiday' are the ones letting their little darlings run around screeching.

I'd replied twice to you 😂 Very patient.
Not snarky and sarcastic at all.

Oh yeah, also if your going to quote me, make sure it’s not complete fiction. Didn’t say that. Might make you seem a bit more legit if you didn’t have to embellish, twist words and straight up and make things up.

That’s quite a bit of breadcrumbing there, OP. You started off complaining about kids “shrieking,” and 17 pages in it’s become “soaking my phone, riding scooters into us, running under our table” etc, once posters on here started disagreeing with you.

Oh yeah, also if your going to quote me, make sure it’s not complete fiction. Didn’t say that. Might make you seem a bit more legit if you didn’t have to embellish, twist words and straight up and make things up

I said " a calm and spa like atmosphere " you'd said " a chilled spa hotel".

Honestly it's a classic case of not liking disagreement. Most of my replies were not even to you. Probably across 10 or so posters.

I was on MN most of the day , passing time in a Hospital. But so what 🤷‍♀️

Why you are not annoyed with the actual hotel I don't know.

They took your booking - but also took the booking for all these kids.

They didn't instigate any Adult/children pool system.

They didn't put a stop to the kids running in the restaurant ( massive h&s breach for their own staff )

No doubt these kids weren't in all the ad pics. If they portray themselves as a " chilled spa type hotel" they aren't really fulfilling that.

The way you've reacted gives a bit of a glimpse into your tolerance levels tbh.
But that's your prerogative.

These threads always bring the kid haters out of the woodwork and maybe you didn't intend that. Who knows.

Honestly it's a classic case of not liking disagreement.

Ha that's rich. Everyone seems to be at fault bar the parents of the unruly brats.

Was the hotel the Celtic Manor by any chance? I’ve stayed there and 🙄🙄🙄

Go adult only, it's so much better

If you're in the UK, you have to deal with a lot of entitled parents who think you should adore every squeak, squeal and shout of their precious offspring.
I have kids - grown up now - but we did not allow them to disturb other people. They knew how to behave in restaurants and were not allowed to run up and down. At the cinema, watching Ratatouille, when our youngest was little he was wiggly, starting to get loud and wanted to run up and down, so I took him out for a walk whilst my husband stayed in the movie with our older son.

Maybe next time book an adults only hotel

I have 3 children under 6 and 2 older ones. YANBU. I’m a strict parent as is my husband. During the holidays my kids turn into little horrible monsters that I’m constantly telling off and shouting at. It’s like they’ve had a personality transplant. Maybe it’s lack of routine and proper bedtime and too much holiday excitement that just sends them feral.
I feel like I need to book an adults holiday just to get over the holiday we’ve had them.
if I didn’t have kids I would holiday in an adult only hotel 100% of the time

You need to go adult only!

Lesson learned, book adult only places

YABU - "a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum" - like others have said, if I calm and relaxing environment was so important to you, there are heaps of adults only hotels. I would 100% be making the most of them if I had the luxury of a kid-free holiday!

Don't go in peak school holiday time!

So glad people agree! I book adult only when I go on holiday without my children it’s absolute bliss. I’m in Turkey now with my kids and the sheer amount of screaming whining rude kids is unbelievable. I’m sure it’s got worse, my boys are perfect but I wouldn’t ever let them behave how I’m witnessing here.

Family-friendly, that's what you need to check out when booking anything from a luxury hotel stay to a manicure. If you don't want (insert all you experienced and didn't like) then don't go where they are family-friendly. Me, I don 't mind. I love to be in the ambiance with children laughing and playing and will happily bounce back a ball or toss a lost bathduck back.

Urgh, reminds me of when we went to a lovely hotel, only to be seated next to some woman who let her child play Baby Shark on repeat on her iPad all the way through breakfast. The temptation to grab it & shove it up the mother's arse was enormous, though I did managed to hold in the urge & just had the staff move us away.

YADNBU, it would drive me nuts, in my opinion a lot ,not all ,dont parent anymore just allow kids to run riot.
I book unless away with grandchild adults only holidays for this reason.