AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

It’s the school holidays. You have picked a kid friendly place. Could have gone first week of September.

These are just one or two examples of many, but a quick look around YouTube will turn up countless videos of “children playing” from the 1940s onwards. They all shout and scream. There is nothing new about it. What’s more, there were a lot more kids compared to the numbers of adults back then, as the average woman in the 50s/60s had between 2 and 3 children (as opposed to today’s figure of around 1.6), AND kids spent a lot more time, proportionally, playing out of doors.

*They are louder.

My mum's theory was that the ones spending all day in childcare have to shriek to get any attention from the minders.*

😁😂👌 perfection

Regarding the pool, although I'd not personally let dc run riot, I'd say this is a hotel issue. Most hotels of a certain standard have either an area, or certain times, for lane only/adult swimming (or particular times for the kids) for this very reason. f they didn't, then the hotel is at fault imo, it's quite unusual not to unless it's billed as family friendly, which you say it isn't. Tbh even just one person acting up is annoying when trying to have a proper swim/relax.

And I wouldn't have that in the restaurant. I'd be mortified!

YADNU. Sounds like the parents are wanting a holiday from parenting!

Kids shrieking and running round restaurants is so neglectful the lack of awareness of parents is astounding. Only the other day a child possibly only 2yrs old was doing this then ran into a table and hit their head, poor child, having g such shit parents.
Would avoid like the plague such places though not always easy to tell. Mine weren't allowed to behave in bloody macdonalds, head another mother with who had a six year old who had eaten and was clearly bored whilst they sat, drank coffee and chatted to "go and play in the road" 😯

@SindyisbetterthanBarbie i know how you feel. The neighbours backing into our garden seem to send their 2 children out to scream. They never tell them to be quiet and just go inside. The only noise is screaming and screeching.

This

Kids running around having fun on holiday, whatever next

There seems to be an increase in entitled parents. Saying child free people shouldn’t go on holiday in the summer because of feral children? I wish people would actually parent children

Kids just seem to be screaming all the time these days, think there was a thread about it a while ago

Yes, shrieking is definitely more of a thing than it was 5 years ago, god knows why

If you go to an adults only you can go in school holidays though

Sounds like extra reinforcement to do both ;

I agree with you op.
The last twice I have met someone for lunch it’s been ruined by shitty parents allowing their feral dcs to either run around constantly or scream.
Both places were not child friendly. No children’s area, no child friendly seating, no activities for children, no children’s menu. There are also plenty of cafes and pubs which seem much more child orientated. Both places were up steep stairs ffs.
It’s put me off going again.
.

The replies to this post baffle me. Book adult only - do we want a segregated society where people with kids can’t have access everywhere? I remember the furore when a local cafe discouraged children for behaviour reasons.

And preschooler kids and non mainstream school kids exist so going outside of school holidays doesn’t really solve the problem.

Kids being a bit excited and loud in a pool is normal. But shrieking and screaming isn’t. At a minimum the parents should be reminding their kids. Running around a wet floor is dangerous, that’s why pools have signs. My kid finds this hard to remember, he’s excited but I remind him every time and he does this ridiculous fast walk. If he shrieked and ran round sunloungers in the way described, we’d leave the pool until he could behave.

I cannot understand anyone who lets their kids run round a restaurant. Let alone up to other people. Of course they want to, and of course they forget to use indoor voices sometimes but you don’t just ignore it, you teach them and interact with them.

It’s unrealistic to expect kids to sit for hours on end at a pub table, they need to run around after a few hours which means you as their parent don’t get to spend the entire evening just sitting there like you did pre-kids with them running riot. I think the entitlement of parents that they want to relax too doesn’t give them a carte blanche to abdicate responsibilities. If you want a break from parenting, get someone else to mind your kids whilst you get drunk in the pub. It’s fairer on everyone else and your kids. I love a pub as much as the next person and if we do bring our kid then we also bring board games so we can enjoy a drink and each other’s company. He’s never been allowed simply run about.

A bit of consideration goes a long way and most kids when parented properly can learn this and still have fun on holiday without ruining other’s.

Anyone who thinks extended and uncorrected periods of this behaviour is acceptable is part of the problem, frankly.

My son has sen and makes lots of loud noises should I never take him on holiday for fear of others being disturbed for part of their day???

Just in reference to the original post - not talking about general kids on holiday behaviour. There’s a big difference between ‘kids running around and having fun on holiday’ and having every meal and every time you try and relax ruined by parents not bothering to parent. That’s more the point of the thread.

A lot of great responses for people who get it on the thread and you can tell they wouldn’t be letting their children behave like that either. But also a lot of responses from a lot of posters saying “go adults only” “your fault you booked in school holidays, what do you expect” but I honestly would be happy to co-exist with kids on holiday if they could behave. That’s my point and I don’t really get that argument that I should go elsewhere if I’m not delighted with constant disruptive bad behaviour.

To me, all that’s saying is families take priority and if you don’t have kids your experience doesn’t matter at all and I should be working around families— go elsewhere off season or just put up with it.

Genuinely curious how it would go down, if I applied that logic in the opposite direction. If our holiday mattered the same then we would perfectly be in our rights to be running down the corridors late at night, running into the doors and shrieking cos - “child-free couples having fun on holiday”

YABU - mostly. No kids should be running around a restaurant but I do wonder if you are exaggerating somewhat. As for the pool, honestly, I don’t know who you think you are! All the guests have paid for the facilities, those facilities are not closed to you, you just don’t like them being used by the other guests! A pool that allows children is unsurprisingly going to have children having fun in it in the summer holidays- choose a hotel with an adult-only pool next time!

Same issue here, it completely does my head in 🙄
If I'm going to be sitting in the garden for a while, I take my headset and DAB radio with me to shut out the racket.

Annoyed on holiday - it's not as black and white as you make it, it's about all our different tolerance levels, the only time other people's kids annoy me is when they're on noisy gadgets, but screaming, shrieking etc just doesn't annoy me that much, however I'd still give families with young kids a wide berth if I wanted to chill

Ha! Can you imagine the rants if adults were getting drunk in the evening and having fun which disturbed their poor wee children's sleep 🤪 and yes they should only book places where its families only and no adults without kids then.

Maybe then wheb someone else who can't parent properly lets their kids go running around shrieking at night waking their precious lil ones they might actually get it.

Noone is saying children cant have fun and play and make noise but there is general noise and then there is that earsplitting shrieking that isnt ok.

My neighbours kid is the same, infsct it seems to have dawned on the parents that isnt ok and now they try to parent but the horse has already bolted and telling him not to results in mega tantrums. So glad I dont have to deal with that everyday

There’s a beautiful and extremely expensive spa hotel near me, and I regularly use the spa and fitness suite there.

I’ve noticed that it has become overrun with a few families with small children and that these children are allowed to behave badly. Splashing people from the pool, screaming at the top of their lungs, running around the loungers, cannonballing into the pond, eating constantly, leaving litter. It’s just horrible. I have a child, I’m also pregnant. I’m not ‘anti-children’ (well, maybe a bit anti other people’s children, and certainly more so now…) but their behaviour is dangerous and it’s disruptive (not to mention irritating as shit) and management do fuck all about it.

Looking at the parents, who are absorbed in phones, they’re disengaged and entitled because they have money, I suspect.

I did growl at one of the kids to go away from my lounger and not splash me again, which caused them to look a bit taken aback.

It’s about using manners and common sense.
Why should places have to state ‘Adults only?’ Seriously the last time I went to the cinema there was a family with 8 young children. Throughout the entire film and in fact before the film even started one or other of these children sat screaming and crying. The film was a late showing- 9pm and was a 12A. 2 of these children were so young didn’t even have their own seats. Plus it was mid week.
How on earth can it be clearer that it’s unsuitable for your screaming kids?

not talking about general kids on holiday behaviour. There’s a big difference between ‘kids running around and having fun on holiday’ and having every meal and every time you try and relax ruined by parents not bothering to parent.

There is a difference and tbf the resort we went to last year only had the first version. We’re going back again this year as it was still luxury enough but with dc having a good time.

I’ll likely still look up adult only when dc don’t come to give it a try. In season. I don’t feel shunted off I want to give it a go. Could be very luxury and nice.

Oh god the cinema! Went to see barbie and someone bought a baby with them who cried and too kthen 30 mins before they decided maybe I should took the baby out so its not disturbing other ppl. Incredibly selfish. Thats why streaming services like amazon now have the movies out quickly to rent and watch at home for families not to mention how much cheaper that is.

But such is the entitlement of some parents that they think its ok to bring a baby into the cinema when the showing isn't even classed as movie for kids where noise would be acceptable.

I do think there are always the odd family who ruin stuff for other people - whether it's soft play, restaurants, holidays, playgrounds - due to passive parenting &/or a misplaced sense of entitlement

I think most parents are doing their best, and all parents / caregivers know, even the best behaved DC can be arseholes.

I do think if you go ANYWHERE with multiple groups of DC present it is highly unlikely you will get a calm, quiet environment. Which is why adult only hotels exist, they have realised there is a significant % of the market who don't want screaming / excitable kids around. I totally understand this.

Child free people do get a sharp shock though when they are suddenly in a shared environment with DC - it's bloody noisy and somewhat chaotic vs a child free world.

It doesn't mean that all DC and all parents are rubbish - it means a few are - and was forever thus.

Absolutely spot on!

Lots of child hate on here. Laughing at autistic kids and fantasising about locking them out of a pub.

YANBU. I hate screaming kids who run around. Although your DP booked the worst possible time. Parents don't have a choice when they can go out presumably you do?