Psychopath

[Namechange50008]

I've just learnt apparently one per cent of the population is a psychopath.
But generally not in the film way (e.g American Psycho) but in an actual mental health way (e.g high impulsivity/low boredom threshold/egocentric/superficially charming/liars).
There's the Hare Checklist which I've got really into.
But what it boils down is that they don't seem to feel emotions.
I can't comprehend this - I get angry and sad and anxious and all the emotions - and am fascinated. One per seems huge.
Does anyone think they know a psychopath? Genuinely? This isn't an AIBU BTW. I'm honestly just really interested.

I thought the term for what you d'escrime is 'sociopath'? Not actually physically violent, but just don't give a shit about anyone but themselves. Definitely mote than 1% of those around!

I'm so sorry to hear about that @DaisyChayne . That must have been so traumatic for you.

Glad he's no longer your h.

It's quite shocking actually. I'd say about 5%-10% of posters have a somewhat realistic idea of the topic and the rest is just based on misconceptions and bad stereotypes.
It's ironic that people would lose their shit if any other group of people was tarred with the same brush in such a fashion, but "psychopath" = evil and deserves judgement" seems to be the credo here.
Most people here would be surprised at the actual nonstereotypical psychopaths in their midst. So yes, I find it laughable.

We did a whole formal assessment and training on DISC at work.

It was really helpful, a useful way of framing the communication styles, behavioural traits and skills of the team. Unsurprisingly, all of the leadership team showed at least some Dominance.

It’s a pernicious stereotype that psychopaths don’t feel emotions. In brain scans, it’s observed that the emotional deficit relates mainly to fear and anxiety. Other emotions may be muted in comparison than those experienced by those with normal brains, but they are there. Hell, even empathy can be experienced when it’s specifically focused on as the goal.

That makes sense. My second highest one was influence. I didn’t get the full run down because I didn’t fancy paying for it, but I’ll probably do some googling.

I did the OCEAN test as well, unsurprisingly it supported the others. High OCE, low AE.

Low N, rather.

I mean realistically, I don't have the credentials to say for definite. All I can reference is my on past and current experience of someone who has for a long time shown all the traits I would associate with NPD. It's further than someone who's an arsehole or just narcissistic tendencies I feel in this case.

Psychopaths I'm not sure, again I can't say for definite but I don't assume, serial killer, murderer as I think most would.

Your comments are actually in that small percentage group which I mentioned as making sense on this thread.

I am a psychopath.
Yep, a proper diagnosed person be and nothing at all like all of your ‘evil’ exes!

I feel love, anger; joy not so much. Most of the time I am just flat. And tired.

Very tired.
Probably like I imagine many people with ASD are. I mask constantly. Picking up on social cues, so I know when I should smile etc..

There is so so much ignorance and BS on this thread. We are not all mass murdering freaks who like torturing animals.

@Sheog I agree.

It is laughable, but also insulting.
I think people are far too quick to label their exes, whoever as narcissistic psychopaths. Perhaps they were just arseholes. Perhaps violent wankers. Psychopaths not so much.

I don’t look like Ted Bundy or have dead eyes. And I yawn!

I very much doubt anyone could really tell that I am diagnosed.

Who knows, your kids might have come round to mine for a play date?!! 😝

Thanks that's reassuring because I feel like I'm going insane, nobody sees it lol

The narcissist guy I know has had more women then I have had hot dinners. On the surface he is very confidentm charismatic and fun. He loves bombs! telling them how deeply he loves them, how he wishes they had met sooner etc and he is also very rich so can afford to go all out to spoil them. The woman then feels very lucky to have him and I imagine, let's a lot go. He ends up cheating and then the cycle starts up again.

Hi @ConcreteUnderpants - thanks. Tell us more then, if willing of course. How were you diagnosed and how do you feel overall (aside from 💤).

Same here, only reason I signed up after a friend told me about the thread. Don't have kids so maybe don't send yours over

@ConcreteUnderpants

A lot of them are likely violent arseholes or just straight up abusive being tainted as a psychopath or a Narcissist.

But I dunno, what I have and am going through is ticking way too many NPD boxes to me. However, I'm fully aware I can't diagnose that and may be mistaken but it was fairly consistent throughout and what has happened since is also confirming my suspicions.

@JibbaJab I can’t say diagnosis has benefited me especially. It’s not something I tell people in real life, although it did make me feel a bit better about some of my ‘quirks’.

Life as a psychopath is boring and dull. Nothing like in the movies! Sorry to disappoint @Namechange50008!

As I said I spend most of the time flat and mentally exhausted from remembering social etiquette.

I love my children, perhaps in a different way to you all, but I don’t know. It is the closest thing I can ever feel to love that is for sure. Other people, including the rest of family, not so much. I am not even sure I care about them tbh.

I get very little joy from things. I smile and laugh, I hug my kids like I am meant to, but for their benefit. I get nothing from it. Apart from the hope that they think their mom is ‘normal’. I don’t do Instagram or anything to overcompensate. I just try and be like I see on TV dramas.

Obviously I can only talk about myself, but
I am an introvert, well-educated and like I said, nothing like the stereotypes paraded on here from people watching too much Netflix or reading crime books. You really wouldn’t know. If you thought I was anything, you perhaps would think mildly autistic, but even that I doubt as I mask so well. I am in my mid 40’s now, so a lot of experience. At first people just thought I was weird. The odd quiet child. Like Wednesday Addams, watching but not speaking I guess. Lots of tests, lots of questionnaires and here I am. I was mis-diagnosed with depression for a lot of years. Then bipolar. Then ASD. Then finally someone new saw it and here I am.

I don’t like people. I have no empathy. I don’t care about you. I will chat but inside I just want to get away as you are wasting my time. I wouldn’t shaft you to get a job or anything like that, but would I be upset about if my siblings and mother died? No. Would I care about if you hurt me? No. Would I plot some sadistic revenge? No. You just don’t matter to me.
I have no friends. Work acquaintances yes, but no one close. I see no point. I don’t like to share.

I pretty much just exist. I don’t care and am empty. It sucks really!

The bit about shafting you for a job and not caring, is because I know I am not meant to.

I could, and not feel bad about it of course. But that would give the game up and I am very conscious that I don’t. And I probably wouldn’t have to, as I’d be better at it than you! Yes, I have a very high opinion of myself too! 😉
I know if I put my mind to it, I could get whatever job I wanted in my field. I somehow know what to say and have the ability to find people’s weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Maybe because I have no empathy and you are so insignificant to me that I don’t care what you think or might say. Hence the tiredness of keeping up the facade.

I can usually spot other psychopaths maybe a bit like CSA survivors have feelings about perpetrators. Other psychopaths are the only threat to me in the food chain I suppose.

Anything else?

Oh no @ConcreteUnderpants that's interesting. How can you spot other psychopaths? How did you learn to mask? Was it by watching other people? That must come with time? Appreciate you being so candid by the way! You sound very even-keeled.

@Namechange50008 We can tell when someone is studying others the same way we do, but I would not necessarily put a label on them.
You need to mask in order to "survive" because otherwise you won't fit in and you will be alienated which is something that nobody wants. It's nothing but copying and mirroring that you pick up from people around you.

@ConcreteUnderpants Yeah I'm only interested in a diagnosis for them because they have taken my children and I'll go down an assessment route in court if I have to because it's not right and I know it will start up again, if it hasn't already. I have no idea whether they are safe or not, I am blind and have been for months.

Interesting view, though and I can relate to some. I was always different from a child, always on the outside looking in and observing. I had no interests that aligned with others, I didn't feel the need to join in I was content on my own. I don't hate people but at the same time I don't really see the need in being around them. I am lonely but I don't have the urge to have friends because it's hard work and I struggle socially and I've never met anyone who is like me. I can easily stay at home indefinitely, lockdown wasn't a challenge, in that sense.

I feel love but not so much joy, I've always had a constant state of existence almost. I can't relate to others that get animated either joy or anger but I like making people happy, even though I don't understand it. Sadness I can because I experience that and I don't like seeing others sad but it's not like I deeply care about them, they just shouldn't be feeling what I have felt and it's cause is wrong. I often feel like I shouldn't be here, nothing makes sense from how the world is in general, people, their lives and things like TV shows or material things.

As I said previously everything is more logical to me rather than emotional. I see patterns in things, I read people very well, their behavior, what they say and how they talk. I also see long term outcomes, I am not at my first court hearing yet but my mind is at the last I've already ran through the scenarios, discussion, counters and outcomes. I am also impartial and fair. I cannot be swayed or influenced in any way to do or agree to what I don't want to do or agree with.

The only thing I do seem to need is a partner one person I can connect with and that person I will do anything for, treat them well better than I am treated. That's likely why I am in this mess my one chink that others cannot get through my one blind spot which ended up abusive.

Along with a partner the only true bond I have experienced is my children but they are on a deeper level. I will be there for them, teach them everything they need to know, protect and care for them. With them and them only I can be myself, I can sing and dance, for example, something nobody else has ever seen me do which I only do when I am alone. I perhaps mask majority of the time in that case.

There is no way I am going to leave them there alone with someone like that. I will not stop until I know they are safe and I will not be cut out from the only bond I have ever had. I am not angry at all I'm still my one state of existence but a line has been crossed in my head and I will fight in court for as long as it takes, because it's right.

That may be autism like it's been suggested as the children are autistic...but interesting to hear others views that for once I do relate in a way.

What has annoyed you about the thread? You feel it’s too stereotypical or pp experiences, including mine?

I don’t think anyone intended to offend.

Question for anyone with psychopathy here: Do you ever feel guilt over something and can you love animals?

Your contributions were fine and constructive.
But look at the thread and the amount of jokes and misconceptions (the yawning bit for example). It's not like anyone chose to have ASPD and wants to be marked as inherently evil. I can't speak for everyone as it differs by person but everyone, ASPD or not, has the ability to make choices.

I have done some awful stuff (who hasn't) and while I don't feel guilty I also know that I don't want to repeat some of it. Likewise I have made certain life choices because I believe them to be the best option to avoid hurt to others.
It's tiring. We're not brainless monsters

It probaby depends but I like animals and have loved some of them and mourned them.