Aibu to wish Americans didn't use the word handicaped

[Theblackdogagain]

I'm British living in Britain. My son is a wheelchair user and I'm sensitive about the language used around it. I'm listening to a brand new American audio book and they use the word handicapped. I know its still used there but it grates on me. AIBU even though I'm not American or living in USA?

It was used here a lot also. Into the recent 90's. It was used to describe a family member with no stigma to it

Can't blame America for its language, we change the word, they didn't

I know this logically, I remember being told not to use the word, along with spastic (remember the spastic society?) As it was being used as a slur.
But for some reason it makes my skin crawl.

Imagine how Americans feel when they hear a Brit using the world "fag"

Different countries use different terms for things. You are being unreasonable to wish Americans would change their language, especially since you dont even live there.

What is the objection to the word handicapped?

And we wish you'd just call them cigarettes. 🤷‍♀️

What would be the acceptable (to you) word for a parking space close to the store entrance and larger than the average space? What would you put on the sign?

It's disabled parking isn't it?

We can't change their language, because they are entitled to use whatever words they want. But I do completely understand how you feel- I took part in a swimming gala a little while back for people with disabilities/neuro-diversity. I won gold in one of my races and was super pleased! But the medal did say 'National blah blah for the handicapped'. Super grateful for the medal but the wording ruffled me a little 😂

No, its blue badge parking

I just had a quick search and every State and Federal website I looked at used the terms ‘disabled’ and ‘have a disability’

Maybe you are listening to a book that was recorded a while ago, or is referring to an earlier time?

Are you American? In Britain that would be disabled parking.

But OP I think YABU, that's just the word they use. Interestingly someone upthread mentioned spastic, I think that doesn't have the same offensive connotations in America (I could be wrong).

I've just Googled the definition which is from the Cambridge dictionary

having an illnesss, injuryy, or conditionn* that makes it difficultt* to do some things that other peoplee* do.

This word is now consideredd offensivee by many peoplee, who preferr to say someone has a disabilityy* or is disabledd*.

I don't get why handicapped is offensive though. It sounds factual.

No idea why that went into Olde Englishe there

Good question about why it is offensive, I think and am prepared to be corrected, that it's like there us something wrong with him, thar he is a lessor person. My son doesn't see himself as disabled or handicapped as he's not lessor, he is perfectly able, it's the world that needs more ramps and less grass paths. Like I said above I was taught it was inappropriate to use as a British person.
Great reference to us using fag to mean cigarette, I do try not to use that Word anymore.

Must be a very old dictionary.
What about in golf?

I live in the USA. You'll still hear handicapped here sometimes, but disabled is far more common. Disabled (or 'with a disability,' the style book is quite firm on person first language though it's not everyone's personal preference) is official federal government style for any written materials.

"handicap(ed) space" as a set phrase still gets used, but yes officially it is disabled parking. Now that I think about it, I probably hear it more in that context than anywhere else, but it might still have some regional variation. Language takes time to change.

I have mobility disabilities and I am deaf in one ear, DM cannot use her hands, DSF is totally deaf and DD has neurological issues. We all prefer it as a catch all without having to explain anything. In the US you say "handicapped" and what you need and I have never not been helped with absolute attention and respect. In the UK I have to day "I have a disability, I have ....." and then DD so so on so on. I find in the US the word draws them in, and attention in and I get help, her "disabilities" seems to cause mild panic and then people ignore me. This is only my experience thou and having spent time in the US since I was young I was unaware it had been used as a slur here. That is a disgrace.

Still offensive but awareness is patchy. Hence why Lizzo had to apologise for using it.

The book BTW us Tom Hanks book about a movie being made so not only is it brand new, its being read by Tom Hamks which really jarred in his voice.

They still say retarded instead of learning disability and I think that sounds really offensive.

Does the root of the word ‘handicap’ come from the idea of ‘cap in hand’ ie begging for a living because of not being able to work through disability? I’m which case you can instantly see why it’s very offensive. Not sure if it does though.

It doesn’t seem to be that root.

'mid 17th century: from the phrase hand in cap ; originally a pastime in which one person claimed an article belonging to another and offered something in exchange, any difference in value being decided by an umpire. All three deposited forfeit money in a cap; the two opponents showed their agreement or disagreement with the valuation by bringing out their hands either full or empty. If both were the same, the umpire took the forfeit money; if not it went to the person who accepted the valuation. The term handicap race was applied (late 18th century) to a horse race in which an umpire decided the weight to be carried by each horse, the owners showing acceptance or dissent in a similar way: hence in the late 19th century handicap came to mean the extra weight given to the superior horse.'

I was wondering why handicapped was offensive but wow. That is offensive!

I was told the reason it’s offensive is because it refers to a time when disabled people would often be beggars - have their ‘cap in hand’ begging. But I’ve just looked up the origin of it and apparently it’s not that at all, it derives from a Tudor bartering game and the idea of levelling things out, so I suppose the offensive nature of it maybe relates to the fact a handicap (in betting) is a disadvantage and so you’re describing disabled people as disadvantaged?

It was an audio book. Being read by someone. I do not think that the reader can change bits of the book, or words, as he reads the book. Do you expect all books to be rewritten to remove offensive words?