Aibu to wish Americans didn't use the word handicaped

[Theblackdogagain]

I'm British living in Britain. My son is a wheelchair user and I'm sensitive about the language used around it. I'm listening to a brand new American audio book and they use the word handicapped. I know its still used there but it grates on me. AIBU even though I'm not American or living in USA?

@LovelaceBiggWither can you explain why it is offensive? Genuine question.

I understand that it is offensive now because of how it has been used as a slur in the past. However I always felt that the original etymology was sound. ie that we are coping with more than able bodied people - that we had been given more of a challenge - more to deal with - not starting from the same place. Which is the exact definition of handicap (as in golf, chess etc).

When I cared for a lovely disabled lady back in the early 90s, her family referred to her as crippled!
I was 😮😮… such an outdated horrible word.

No, they don't. Where do you get that from? Retarded has been thoroughly scrubbed from all official language and I've never heard a teacher use it. It's very frowned in to say it at all where I live.

(Also, the replacement term is "intellectual disability" as "learning disability" under federal education law was already defined; it's an umbrella category that includes such disabilities as dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia.)

It's an example of the euphemism treadmill. The word is not innately offensive, but over time - through playground insults etc - it gets tainted.

In 30 years, there will be a new correct term and our children will be just as horrified that we used the word "disabled".

What an untrue and ignorant comment.

The French word for disabled is "handicape" so it's still used in many other countries I imagine.

Read the post above explaining the etymology of the word. Can you understand why people find it offensive ?

This argument can, and one day will, apply equally to the word "disabled".

No, it doesn't!
It was used as a betting/sporting term long before it was used to indicate a physical or neurological condition.
And while I'm at it, retard is a verb meaning delay. Spastic is the adjective form of the word spasm. None of these words was considered offensive before the general public attached shame and stigma to them. There's nothing wrong with the terms themselves.
If anything, handicap is a far more neutral term than disable, referring as it does to a setback deliberately imposed by the game's organisers, but disable is the term in fashion for now, before the shame and stigma gets attached to it and we pass on to the next temporarily acceptable term.

And?

I suppose the word disabled is very wide, whereas I've only ever heard the word handicapped to relate to someone who cannot complete specific tasks/specific restrictions etc wheelchair users, deaf, blind, severe learning difficulties, not used in a derogatory way, more matter of fact they are handicapped so need x or y adaptations.

The flip side is my dd is classified as disabled here in the U.K. but needs no adaptations at all in a public context

Different countries find different terminology offensive. The french think that the descriptor "black" to refer to race is offensive, and "African" is the PC term, whereas here the opposite is true.

The UK government seemingly is already debating with itself Don’t automatically refer to ‘disabled people’ in all communications – many people who need disability benefits and services don’t identify with this term. Consider using ‘people with health conditions or impairments’ if it seems more appropriate.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/inclusive-communication/inclusive-language-words-to-use-and-avoid-when-writing-about-disability

Other publications says 'disabled' or 'people with disabilities' is OK. So, I can understand why people might be confused.

I have a disability and use a wheelchair. I don't object to the word handicapped, it is fairly objective to me. What I hate is when people ask what's wrong with me.

The point is that offensiveness does not stem from etymology, it stems from societal stigma.

A word becomes stigmatised and then people start saying, "oh my god, can you believe this word was originally used to refer to the weight carried by racehorses?" Just like in the future, people will say, "oh my god, can you believe that the prefix dis means 'the opposite of'?"

Again, neither word is inherently offensive; societal stigma makes words taboo, not etymology.

Yeah, imagine that happening! 🤔

Language around disability changes all, the time and even as the parent of a severely disabled child I find it hard to keep.up terms that were once acceptable are now apparently offensive 🤷
My oldest non disabled son has recently been diagnosed with Diabetes, and I'm on various Facebook groups for diabetes now,and in one American group they' were discussing g how they carried their insulin pens etc when out and about and one person suggested carrying them in a fanny, pack now I know fanny doesn't mean the same in the USA as it does in the UK but it did make me smi!e .

Don't ever come to Denmark.

Sensitivity readers in publishing is a thing because it does happen. Penguin wanted to remove offensive words from Dahl's books earlier this year. Can't remember if they backed down.

Quite.

Why?

I've just spent time in the US with a friend who has a handicapped placard for her vehicle. They have spaces everywhere for people needing to use the badge, proper good size spaces. If you show the badge you can get into full parking lots for attractions as there will always be plenty of spaces. I found it much more considerate there than here regardless of the language they use around it - and they use so many different words to us that you can't consider it a slight for them to be using in their own country.

@BlueKaftan - retard is still used.

Is it not just jarring just because it's not used much here? Dis-abled is essentially along the same string of thought as you've mentioned in reality yet you don't seem offended by that? Of course people can find whatever they find offensive offensive, but to disparage others for using it when it doesn't have a root in anything demeaning any more so than the terminology we use seems a bit much.

You don’t have a right not to be offended. People offend me all the time. Learning to deal with it, instead of sulking/whining, is healthy. Teach your child not to critique the language of others, that isn’t a healthy direction in which to travel.

And trying to include disabled people in literature for ‘representation’ while avoiding any words that hint there is something wrong with the disabled person, is exhausting for writers, especially as which word is thought offensive changes every couple of years.