Aibu to wish Americans didn't use the word handicaped

[Theblackdogagain]

I'm British living in Britain. My son is a wheelchair user and I'm sensitive about the language used around it. I'm listening to a brand new American audio book and they use the word handicapped. I know its still used there but it grates on me. AIBU even though I'm not American or living in USA?

Wait until you visit French speaking countries…

This is what I’ve been told too. Hand in cap (cap in hand).

The etymological consensus of internet dictionaries suggests that it originated from a trading game called “Hand in cap” where an umpire evened up unequal odds. The term was then used describe an artificial disadvantage (extra weight) applied to race horses to even out the field and then, by extension, applied to people with a physical or mental disability.

No caps in hands or begging involved.

*ags is considered a slur in the US just as
*paz is here and many there not only didn’t know but the word hadn’t been in use since the late 90, early 2000s.

Many Americans actually know that *ags mean cigarettes in the UK. It’s been common knowledge for decades.

@Lapflop

You didn't read my post correctly!

I said people who aren't Black.

Ask someone who is black and see what they say! I'm black, my friends and family who are black hate being referred to as 'coloured'

Of course Black people should be called Black. And 'coloured' is not used at all. 'People of colour' is however used and accepted, certainly in the States, and also where I am.

It can encompass Black people but a meant to include any non-white ethnicities.

(I do know the terminology and phrasing changes all the time, and is not universally agreed eg I notice you are typing 'black' (and you are a black person so that's clearly your personal preference) whereas I'm using Black (and I'm not) as I've been corrected on this & advised to use upper case, to ensure it confirms ethnicity, and not colour.)

I don't understand why people of colour is acceptable but coloured people isn't ?

Its strange because the main places i hear the term handicap is racing and golf, and in both I associate it with the process of essentially levelling out differences to make the game/race fair. So to me it doesn't have that negative connotation.

I find it stranger the move to terms like "differently abled" & "handicapable" which I've heard American colleagues use. Surely if we want to ensure people are given the support they need, we need to acknowledge challenges & ensure we compensate for the things people are unable to do, and remove obstacles/barriers to ensure people can use their full range of abilities?

I don't understand why people of colour is acceptable but coloured people isn't

I'm not really the right person to explain and I expect someone else will do better but it appears to be a) linked with defining people as a colour (by saying 'coloured') and b) has historically racist connotations.

'people of colour' is a distinct term to identify communities or individuals who are non-white and recognising their ethnic identity.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personoff_color

(Excuse Wikipedia link but think the explanation is ok there)

I needed special assistance at Los Angeles airport recently and the assistance lady put me on the 'handicapped bus' to get to the next terminal. I have to admit I was shocked the term is still used.

Well.that's as clear as mud😂
But to confuse things I think there is a community of people in south Africa who.identify as coloured?

Not unreasonable. My dad was also in a wheelchair towards the end (polio as a child and limited use of one of his legs his whole life) and he would have been mortified to be labelled as handicapped. He was a person who had a handicap, yes, but he wasn’t just his handicap. He was so strong and could crunch up into a handstand. He was excellent at chess and considered himself quite the philosopher.

I also hate how people label others like this.

If 'people of colour' and by extension 'coloured people' remains acceptable in use then can we also use 'people without colour' and equally 'colourless people'?

Personally I think the language is important but not as important as the inclusion.

Why does it offend you ?

Can I just correct something. The word ‘spastic’ is a medical term and is still in use medically. Spasticity is abnormal muscle tightness due to prolonged muscle contraction. It is a symptom associated with damage to the brain, spinal cord or motor nerves, and is seen in neurological conditions such as cerebral palsy. The only reason it has fallen into disuse to describe conditions like cerebral palsy in the UK, is because it was being used as a derogatory term. It’s still used in the US, as is the word handicapped, as the associations are not the same.

I am disabled - have been since birth and I agree with this. If the OP and her son don’t accept that there are differences, and he is not ‘perfectly able’ as she put it, then they are going to have problems - not least in claiming the benefits he may be entitled to, as these are quite harshly judged to begin with, without the claimant themselves not admitting to being disabled. The language doesn’t matter - how society views and treats the disabled, and the level of inclusion and levelling up in society, does.

My opinion, for what it's worth:

A handicap is an established word meaning an extra challenge. It is entirely benign.

You were taught this/told this. I would question by whom and question whether they were right to teach/tell you this.

The word handicap to me is much less stigmatising than the word disabled or impaired or other awkward attempts to avoid either word.

It seems more fashion, than it is anything of substance.

Though I do agree with the 'has' rather than 'is' grammar distinction that is encouraged.

e.g. "Has bipolar" rather than "is bipolar"
"Has a disability" rather than "is disabled."

"Has a handicap" rather than "handicapped"

Spastic, derived from spasticity, is just a description on the reflexive muscle phenomenon common in cerebral palsy. It was benign but did probably become a slur. Its not a synonym for disabled and inaccurate, so I agree should never be used.

I’m disabled from birth and the term ‘differently abled’ to me is really patronising. I’m not crazy about ‘handicapped’ but ‘disabled’ an inclusive term I can live with. Most disabled people I know feel the same way - and are puzzled as to why able bodied people take it on themselves to be offended on our behalf !!

My ds diagnosed condition has the word spastic in it.

My dad hates it because as a teacher in 70's - 00's he heard it used as an insult all the time.

However my ds refuses to be ashamed of the term because some tweaks used it as an insult.

Problem isn't really words are offensive IMO. The problem is that words become offensive because of how others use language.

We address the wrong problems all the time.

Americans can be weird with language and rarely look beyond their own borders.
Have had multiple have an absolute go at me when I said that gypsy might be an offensive term there but here it's a group separate to travellers. Apparently the fact they self describe that way doesn't make it less offensive - I was like, their advocacy body here, which is run by and for the community, is literally called The Gypsy Council of Great Britain 🙄

Wait what is wrong with geriatric now? Why is that considered bad? What do you use instead?

. Geriatric is now considered offensive? So many people ready and waiting to take offence at utter nonsense.

The word ‘handicapped’ was discouraged because it was associated with a commonly used term for those with a range of congenital mental health disabilities. And by association there was a perception that those who were physically handicapped had diminished mental capacity. I speak from experience here as someone with a congenital physical disability who regularly had to point out to people that just because the legs didn’t work, didn’t mean the brain was affected too !! Thankfully attitudes like this are rare, but I still think ‘disabled’ and the various individual descriptors for mental health conditions are much better than ‘handicapped’.

I hate the way they casually use the words lame and dumb.
“that’s lame, that’s dumb.”
Fucking disgraceful for a partially civilised society.
and how did “ that sucks” come to mean something awful.

*Americans can be weird with language and rarely look beyond their own borders. +

Like many countries yet, it’s acceptable to bash Americans specifically despite just like the UK there are regional and cultural differences within the country which is normal for a population of 340 million+ people.

I honestly thought that handicap came from the cap in hand meaning and have always found it offensive/old fashioned because of that and would never use it.

But that is actually a myth? I suppose you learn something new every day.

If you're taking handicap as in the sporting term to indicate that somebody has a starting disadvantage, that actually seems like a nicer term than the term disabled, which seems to imply that a person is helpless or can do nothing.

I think it will probably take a bit more for me to override my discomfort around the word handicapped though.