Aibu to wish Americans didn't use the word handicaped

[Theblackdogagain]

I'm British living in Britain. My son is a wheelchair user and I'm sensitive about the language used around it. I'm listening to a brand new American audio book and they use the word handicapped. I know its still used there but it grates on me. AIBU even though I'm not American or living in USA?

Just because a word has certain connotations in one country doesn’t mean everyone else who speaks the same language elsewhere has to use it in the same way. There are loads of examples of words having totally different meanings and nuances in British or American English. (Or Australian, Canadian or NZ English for that matter.) It may not ‘sit right’ with you, but you’re one person among billions! Get over yourself!

So DISabled doesn't suit either ?

Technically, someone would be handicapped by having a disability.

Eg the inability to read well would handicap someone who is reading a book, or someone who likes to run races would be handicapped by having an artificial leg.

They use the word handicapped in French too. Language changes but it’s very England centric to expect other countries to conform to our sense of what is societally acceptable.

It sounds offensive because it's been hijacked and turned into an insult. Definitely not an acceptable term these days.

Honestly never given it a thought. What's the difference between handicapped and disabled?

I don't think the USA is quite as inclusive around disability as it would like to imagine. I'm on a couple of international rehab forums and often see people from the US saying they work "in geriatrics".
I think the worst term is "invalid" meaning literally "not valid" Thank goodness that one has been moved away from now, but i remember just 30 years ago and it was in common usage.

I worked with a woman from the francophone part of Belgium who would physically flinch at the word "black" for people. I'm used to cultural/linguistic differences in this area (in Spanish we use very different words from English), but her reaction was so strong that it really stuck with me.

Actually, invalid comes from the Latin invalidus. Validus meaning "strong" and in- meaning "not". So it means "not strong".

I wouldn't disagree that the USA isn't always as inclusive about disability as it would like to imagine (nowhere is, but that's another story). But this is an odd example to pick as I believe geriatrics is still in formal use in the USA (as in, I see it in hospital websites and such) and isn't considered pejorative. It's not a case of "it's considered pejorative but they refuse to stop using it".

There is always a risk of a euphemism treadmill, but at the same time, language changes. As I understand it, people did try to push "differently abled" back in the '90s in the USA and it was disability advocates who weren't having it.

"Black" versus "African-American" has gone back and forth. "People of colour" is awkward, but it is meant to be a broader group.

@macrowave That's interesting. "Black" does sound very emphatic in French, presumably because it's not a French word. It's hard to know who to ask, as white people here tend to be clueless about inclusive/PC language, and the very few POC here I don't know well enough to ask potentially tactless questions.

Was the women black.herself
I'm not black so.what would I know but I would try to.refer to someone ( if it wss relevant ) with their preferred terms.

No, she was white. If she had been black, I imagine the rest of us would have changed our wording (I can only speak for myself, of course).

I think there is an interesting discussion to be had about using someone's preferred terms when you find them offensive, or when they are not appropriate in your culture/language. It's a very delicate area sometimes.

Indeed it is it can be a mine field .

Hadn't even realised it was a bad word now. What do we say now?

It's fascinating how language changes over time.
Someone referred to a UK academic study on here about the language used to refer to people with autism. You would often see posters getting irate when certain terms were used such as, 'Aspie' but the study showed that many people who actually had autism liked it. The study looked at all the preferred language of the different groups of people involved in the 'autistic community' such as parents, health workers, teachers and the people with autism. It was noticible that the people with autism were far happier to be called 'an autistic person' than other groups where they were keen to put the person first. Ie 'a person with autism'.

It was a while ago so the results of the study might be out of date but it highlighted how complicated it can be to use the correct term.

I think a really good example of normal, non stigma words becoming pejorative is the term special needs. I don't hear it now, mostly I think because I don't spend time with people who would be so unpleasant, but 'special' was definitely used as a slur in the late 90s when I was at school.

I've noticed recently that the term 'accessible' is over taking 'disabled' as a term for things like parking spaces and toilets.

I think lots of words become offensive, simply because over the years they are used in a derogatory way.

I think people are the problem. Not the language.

I am American, and the term “retarded” is certainly NOT commonly used and is considered very offensive and unacceptable. I haven’t heard it used since I was a young child in the 1960s!

As for the term “handicapped”, that has been replaced by “disabled”, which is beginning to be referred to as “differently abled”. I think handicapped parking (blue placard) is an outdated term that is still commonly used out of habit.

There is always a push toward inclusion and acceptance and that is reflected in the changing language.

How is it objectively worse than "disabled"? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I suppose they'll be coming for that next...

This.

Why are you proud of this? Invariably most people hate people referring to them as coloured rather than black etc. Although in reality how often are being mentioning someone's race? I'm black but have to say its very very rare if at all I find the need to mention someone being white or whatever so curious what's different the other way around.

One of my friends has a white daughter, 4 white grand children and one white great grand child.

This particular friend is black.

When each child has been born we do a verbal dance because I'm curious to know if another white baby has arrived, my friend knows this and knows she will tell me but likes to keep me in suspense.

I hate "differently abled , " my son is very severely disabled by his autism and learning disabilities he certainly does have different abilities I feel.terms like that minimise things which is not helpful.

Neither are many countries including the UK nor is there a perceived thought that we are more inclusive especially given the history of civil rights for different groups.

The R word is also a huge favourite of Americans.

It was in the 90s, definitely not one now and you would find yourself in HR if you did use it.

Personally I don't give two shits about the language. I do care about dropped kerbs, accessible buildings and transport, decent toilet provision. A level of facilities and services that enable less able people to participate as fully as possible in every aspect of modern society. And that is what needs to be fought for.

If you piss around changing words, that's all that will change. Then you'll just have a less abled person unable to get a bus rather than a handicapped person unable to get a bus.

I'll get my coat.

(Also the Americans with Disabilities Act - limited as it is - pisses all over our "Equality Act").