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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this affordable?

79 replies

mellysq · 05/08/2023 08:51

Income 3,500 (net)
Mortgage 1,100
CT 150
Car finance and loan repayment 300
Nursery 1,400

I am so incredibly stressed. I really don’t know whether to just give up work and rely on savings for a while (currently have 15k so won’t last long) and then take a lower paid job and have more time with dc. She’s not entitled to any free hours so that’s the cost including the tax free element. No idea what to do or what is best anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 08:52

Oh and DD’s dad pays maintenance but has been v unreliable and is constantly in and out of work.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 05/08/2023 08:54

It’s quite tight, but I wouldn’t quit a well paid job as 15k won’t last long. You have savings you can dip into and the high childcare cost won’t be forever. Try and tighten your belt as much as possible

Hufflepods · 05/08/2023 08:55

Why would you quit to live off savings though? That’s totally counterintuitive. Use your savings to lean on during the 2 larger fee nursery years and then DC will have free hours and the fees will reduce but you will have retained your income.
You also need to account for the tax free scheme so you will pay slightly less than £1400 a month.
No harm in putting a proposal to your employer to see if they will sign up to the workplace nursery benefit too.

Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 08:56

I just don’t know how we will manage. It seems pointless me going to work. The hours are long and the stress is immense. I am actually worried I will be getting into debt to pay for nursery.

OP posts:
Windowcleaning · 05/08/2023 08:57

Just on this info, it looks right but doable if you know that you may need to dip into your savings.

How old is your dd? Nursery costs are crippling until they're three then it gets better.

From your income, it sounds like you've progressed well in your career. Don't give that up. Fifteen grand savings with no money coming in (other than child benefit) won't go far and you'd be the same situation in six months only without a job!

Thetruthfairy · 05/08/2023 08:57

Could you look at extending your mortgage term for a few years?

Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 08:58

@Thetruthfairy can’t change the mortgage at all unfortunately, tried that already

OP posts:
user1469032438 · 05/08/2023 08:58

I know it munches savings but you would be far better using savings to pay for half of nursery, that would take you nearly up when she starts getting free hours but you still have a career etc. Which you wouldn't have if you just quit work to live off savings

Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 08:59

@user1469032438 do you mean use the 15k essentially to pay for nursery for the next couple of years? It would make nursery half price, for the two years it’s around 33k.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 05/08/2023 09:00

mellysq · 05/08/2023 08:56

I just don’t know how we will manage. It seems pointless me going to work. The hours are long and the stress is immense. I am actually worried I will be getting into debt to pay for nursery.

It’s not pointless, you’re paying into a pension and you’re not having to start your career from scratch when you do start work again if you decide to be a SAHM. It was tight for me for a few years but quitting was never an option. Your high childcare cost is for a couple of years and then you’ll have a lot more spare cash

jeaux90 · 05/08/2023 09:00

OP I'm a lone parent and I understand the stress especially those early years. Things were exceptionally tight for a while. There were things I did back then which paid off within 5 years. Decisions about where I lived, career path etc.

None of these "levers" will be available to you if you stop working.

ConnieTucker · 05/08/2023 09:00

user1469032438 · 05/08/2023 08:58

I know it munches savings but you would be far better using savings to pay for half of nursery, that would take you nearly up when she starts getting free hours but you still have a career etc. Which you wouldn't have if you just quit work to live off savings

This. You need your career long term.

loftconversi0n · 05/08/2023 09:01

I thought as a single parent with high childcare costs you can claim benefits to help?

Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 09:02

Ex is involved just very intermittent and cannot be relied upon sadly. So I can’t even organise splitting childcare with him etc, he wouldn’t stick to anything.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 05/08/2023 09:02

loftconversi0n · 05/08/2023 09:01

I thought as a single parent with high childcare costs you can claim benefits to help?

OP’s income will be too high probably but it’s worth putting the figures into ‘entitled to’ calculator

ConnieTucker · 05/08/2023 09:03

Have you looked for a childminder instead? That could be cheaper.

HelgaGPataki · 05/08/2023 09:03

Looking at this I'm concerned about your other bills not listed like gas and electric, water, broadband etc? Then food on top? I think you will struggle, but not working would make it even worse, as at least now you have a bit of a buffer with savings currently. If nursery is for five full days could you compress your hours at work? I work 5 in 4 and it saved a day's fees per week.
It does get better when they turn three, hopefully that's not too far off?

Hufflepods · 05/08/2023 09:04

You wouldn’t go into debt for nursery. I don’t see how quitting and living off £15k really helps you. The only bill you would be saving is nursery, your other outgoings remain the same. You wouldn’t be entitled to the maximum benefits help due to being a home owner. Your £15k would barely last 8 months and then what? How would a part time income and no savings be better?

You would be much better off with your salary and £15k as an emergency pot to dip into if you need it.

CCSS15 · 05/08/2023 09:04

The options available to lower your mortgage payment eg extending the term / switching to interest only for 6 months have recently changed and as long as you are up to date with payments you should be able to just transact it

YallaYallaaa · 05/08/2023 09:05

That sounds very expensive for nursery - I’m in central London and the options near me are all less than that. Can you shop about?

Hufflepods · 05/08/2023 09:05

Also with the tax free account your nursery bill would be closer to £1200 which makes a big difference.

Goneroundthetwist · 05/08/2023 09:06

I would say no, you haven’t factored in gas/electric, water, phones, tv, clothes, haircuts, mot/servicing.

what about cost of living increase in nursery and mortgage gas/electric food?

Can you ask to work condensed or reduced hours, can you work term-time only?

tbh I would look at (and did) work a job that was weekends and evenings so I didn’t have to pay nursery, only a child minder for an hour til my husband came home. It was only for three years and then I looked for family friendly jobs and was lucky to find a term-time only. It’s only now they are all at high school my career is back on track in my late 40’s.

ohtobeme · 05/08/2023 09:06

You either

Give up and spend all your savings and then panic until you get another less well paid job

Or you carry on and use your savings slowly to get you through the next few expensive years whilst desperately searching for a cheaper childcare option ?

No brainier isn't it ?

Hufflepods · 05/08/2023 09:06

YallaYallaaa · 05/08/2023 09:05

That sounds very expensive for nursery - I’m in central London and the options near me are all less than that. Can you shop about?

Everything near you in central is less than £1400 a month??
What on earth are you classing as central? I find that hard to believe, even around me in zone 3 £1400 is average with plenty charging £1650 and even £1800.

Hufflepods · 05/08/2023 09:07

@Goneroundthetwist how on earth would a job with only evenings and weekend hours help the OP? Her biggest outgoings are all her other bills. A few hours a week isn’t going to pay her mortgage.