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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this affordable?

79 replies

mellysq · 05/08/2023 08:51

Income 3,500 (net)
Mortgage 1,100
CT 150
Car finance and loan repayment 300
Nursery 1,400

I am so incredibly stressed. I really don’t know whether to just give up work and rely on savings for a while (currently have 15k so won’t last long) and then take a lower paid job and have more time with dc. She’s not entitled to any free hours so that’s the cost including the tax free element. No idea what to do or what is best anymore.

OP posts:
Krustykrabpizza · 05/08/2023 09:58

What exactly is the point of having 15k in savings if you can't then rely on this in times of financial stress. I think pp suggestion of using it to pay for nursery is very sensible.

Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 09:59

Shinyandnew1 · 05/08/2023 09:45

@mellysq what about food, bills, insurance, petrol, broadband, Tv, clothes, phone etc?

@@Shinyandnew1 yes that’s why I am
worried. Though I can’t remember the last time I bought myself clothes, genuinely doesn’t feature in my life anymore!

OP posts:
Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 10:01

BlossomCloud · 05/08/2023 09:47

Grit your teeth and get through it. Free hours will kick in before too long, and then they start school and it gets easier again

I had to pay mortgage plus childcare for two and it was grim and i skipped meals (ex rarely paid his maintenance) but I am so glad I kept working. A few promotions later and with minimal childcare costs now I am in such a different position financially.

@BlossomCloud thanks, that does make me feel more hopeful. I feel like the job is so so intense and I still can’t even feel relaxed filling my bloody car up.

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 05/08/2023 10:02

mellysq · 05/08/2023 09:59

@@Shinyandnew1 yes that’s why I am
worried. Though I can’t remember the last time I bought myself clothes, genuinely doesn’t feature in my life anymore!

Show quote history

I’m presuming your child needs clothes though!

What are your other outgoings?

Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 10:02

@Blondeshavemorefun not sure I get child benefits as over the threshold

OP posts:
Original poster
mellysq · 05/08/2023 10:03

Shinyandnew1 · 05/08/2023 10:02

I’m presuming your child needs clothes though!

What are your other outgoings?

Show quote history

@Shinyandnew1 yes obviously she has all she needs. Bills come to around 500 all in, excluding food

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 05/08/2023 10:04

OP is it possible to also have a career conversation with your boss? Talk about what's important to you in terms of getting on higher grades/pay and what you need to do? Whilst things are tough you might as well dig in and focus on the long term.

I know this sounds hard but it's absolutely what I did in similar circumstances. Within 5 years I had doubled my income.

Nevermind31 · 05/08/2023 10:08

If you give up work you will have to inform your mortgage company, who could withdraw the mortgage, so you might lose the house.
i do t see how £15 k are going to see you through longer term.
instead, keep your job, use the money to dip into if you need to until free hours kick in. That isn’t loads, but does help a bit.

schnauzerbeard · 05/08/2023 10:10

Transfer £500 a month from savings for the next 2.5 years?

Mummy08m · 05/08/2023 10:11

Hang in there op, eat into the savings if you need to, you can save again when your dd is at school.

I was amazed how much money we get off now she's turning 3yo and gets 15 free hours. I thought the discount would just be a hundred or so as we still have to pay for food and nappies - but we'll be getting well over 300 quid off a month, all year round. Like you, it's the only benefit we're entitled to (I'm not complaining) and I'm pleased it's so much.

An extra 300 a month will be really helpful when your dd turns 3.

Like a commenter said above, see if you can temporarily reduce your mortgage payments, the provider might have options.

Also temporarily reducing pension contributions as another commenter said- I have one friend currently doing this to save a house deposit (imo not a bad decision as a house is also helpful for retirement).

In the meantime, don't be embarrassed to ask friends and family to help - eg at Christmas and birthdays give them a wish list of useful stuff for dd (clothes etc) rather than toys. My dd likes receiving clothes as presents and it does save us buying them.

Mummy08m · 05/08/2023 10:14

(My dd isn't in nappies any more but you know what I mean! "Food and nappies" is what they call the extra fee at my nursery)

Ask your nursery for the fee breakdown with 15 hours off, they can send you the spreadsheet

Mummy08m · 05/08/2023 10:17

mellysq · 05/08/2023 10:02

@Blondeshavemorefun not sure I get child benefits as over the threshold

Just reread your posts op and just checking you know- everyone gets the 15 free nursery hours at age 3, it's not means tested.

Frenchfancy · 05/08/2023 10:26

Just adding to the voices saying do not quit your job. If you keep working and use your savings to help then in 10 years time you will be very comfortable and will probably have built the savings back up, be well on the way to paying off your mortgage and have a good pension pot for the future.

If you quit you will likely have none of the above.

Savings are there to get you through the hard times. Use them now.

Mummy08m · 05/08/2023 10:33

Just a thought I've been having lately - I've come across a lot of people who see savings as something to have and never touch. Savings have no value if you're not willing to dip into them when you need to, particularly when you know the need is temporary and youll be able to refill the savings at some future date.

This is exactly one of those times.

If you quit your job and use the savings, it'll be so unlikely you'll be able to refill the savings pot in the foreseeable future.

If you carry on as you are, but use (say) 10k of your savings up before dd goes to school, you'll be able to refill those savings within a couple of years easily as school is free - I know you'll need wraparound care etc but you'll be able to save 500 a month at least when you're not paying for nursery any more.

AccidentallySuckedTheStrippersDick · 05/08/2023 10:34

I had a friend in this sort of situation. She worked out the total cost of a childminder ( much cheaper than nursery, and more flexible) until school started full time and then took out a loan for it. She paid for 3 months in advance and out the rest into a savings account to help offset the interest paid on the loan, with the interest on the savings. Then she met her monthly repayments over the 5 year term of the loan. Meant she was paying £450 a month for longer than childcare was needed but it gave her some really good wiggle room. Could this be an option for you?

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 05/08/2023 10:38

Just adding to what everyone else is saying really .

With those outgoings you will need to dip into your savings each month, but that's OK as you have a cut off point where free nursery hours come in. A poster has suggested transferring £500 per month from your savings - I think that is a good idea.

I was also wondering about your car, given you work from home, how far away is DD's nursery? Could you manage without a car ?

Tatzelwyrm · 05/08/2023 10:38

I really don’t know whether to just give up work and rely on savings for a while (currently have 15k so won’t last long) and then take a lower paid job and have more time with dc. She’s not entitled to any free hours so that’s the cost including the tax free element.

So why* *would you not work for a while and deplete your savings? Why wouldn't you get a job straight away?

Seriously, use the savings as you need to and don't give up

bigredboat · 05/08/2023 10:39

If you work from home 4 days a week do you need a car? Not sure if the costs you put down for the car include petrol/tax/mot etc but that could be a good chunk of your outgoings saved.

Hankunamatata · 05/08/2023 10:41

You have savings and from post you have 2 years left in nursery? Id use £500 a month out of your savings to help towards your childcare bill - that's 12k over the two years leaving you a buffer of 3k for emergencies.

Crikeyalmighty · 05/08/2023 10:44

I would be looking at going part time- less income but less nursery fees and tax and you may then qualify for a bit of UC and at least then you get some time with little one.

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 05/08/2023 10:46

@mellysq theres a way through this, it’ll be tough but worth it in the long term.

few questions that might help you get the best advice…

what is you taxable annual income ie after pension?
how old is your DC?
are you using tax free childcare?
do you have any help at all from family so you’re getting a bit of a break?
Would your work consider compressed hours so you only need 4 days childcare as a temporary flex arrangement until your hours kick in?

Hankunamatata · 05/08/2023 10:51

Also ask mortage company to go interest only usually for 6 months or a year

AuContraire · 05/08/2023 11:25

Do not give up your job. Its only 2 years, then it all gets easier.

ConnieTucker · 05/08/2023 11:32

And do not underestimate the fantastic role model you are providing for your daughter.

BarbaraofSeville · 05/08/2023 11:59

mellysq · 05/08/2023 10:02

@Blondeshavemorefun not sure I get child benefits as over the threshold

Are you sure about this? If you earn under £60k after pension contributions you will get some CB. Your take home suggests you earn around £50k, so you should get most or all your CB.

The best course of action is probably to minimise all costs, get tax free childcare, use your savings and just grit your teeth and get through it. Things will get gradually better as the free hours kick in, and when DD goes to school. Also when the loan finishes that will free up more money.