People looking after children while wfh

[paws732]

My company operates mainly remotely, so we mostly work from home with occasional office days. We have a lot of Teams meetings for connectivity.

With the summer holidays, I have had meeting with a lot of colleagues who have their children sitting on their laps during the meetings. These children range from 5-8, and they are not behaving themselves either. One child kept putting things on their mum's head, and another was having a tantrum about being bored.

AIBU to think they shouldn't be looking after children while wfh, even if it's the school holidays? I feel it will eventually spoil wfh arrangements for everyone, as employers will not tolerate this is many companies.

Slightly off topic, but reminds me a bit of NZ PM Jacinda Ardern sniggering about how shocked the Japanese delegation were to walk into the conference room and find her changing her baby's nappy. I bet they were. They were attending a diplomatic event, not a creche. Your baby's bum may be adorable to you, but it isn't to anyone else.

Yes, totally agree

If you read my post, you'll see it's not my choice to work from home.

But your employer wouldn’t let you take your husband or dog into the office with you either. What a daft argument.

Yes they do!

Where I work, so many people got dogs during lockdown, when employer wanted hybrid working, one day a week in office, they had to agree to dogs being brought in.

I bloody love it. Employer couldn’t cope with the number of people who would have resigned if they’d refused, plus Regional Big Cheese brings his dog in…

Ok so I'm self employed with my husband. Run our own business. And we have 4 kids. I wfh him with the kids as the primary care giver. It works for us. My dh works on site and me at home doing admin etc. However they are well behaved and I don't really have meetings maybe 1 a month etc. Phone calls daily but I go to.a different part of the house. It can work but depends on the kids and the job imo

Wow, some of the responses on here.

It’s very rarely a ‘perk’ or ‘privilege’ to have to WFH with children. It’s often born out of necessity due to cost or lack of available childcare. The “that’s not my problem, colleague x with child should have thought of that before having children” brigade are very harsh. The six weeks summer holiday is a long time during which to find childcare every single day.

Fwiw I work for a large, billion $$ tech company. No-one bats an eyelid if people work from home with their DC. Obviously not every day but the odd day here and there during the holidays or if the kid is sick is fine. Everyone in my team is responsible for completing their work. If they can’t do it during working hours due to childcare issues then the business expects the work to be done after work/evening/whenever. Alternatively a colleague will help out.

I’ve presented in meetings on Teams and apologized in advance for any noise or interruptions that may occur as my DC are home and this has been met with smiles and nods of understanding. I’ve been on calls with customers or managers when their children have interrupted and of course it’s fine.

What a lot of fuss about nothing. A section of MN is obsessed with the idea that working women with children are entitled and expect the world to revolve around their kids needs (see the frequent posts about parents at work who expect preferential treatment when booking leave at Christmas!)

I would leave if everyone bought dogs in . I am sick of them been everywhere.

Same. It was partly why I left one job. A dog would come in now and again, it was so annoying.

I’m sure it’s a matter of time before one shits inside the office.

It's not really that surprising that employers are pulling back on WFH, when there are people working from home that aren't as productive as they could be.

Some people have to spoil it for everyone.

It seems more of a working women’s problem, than anything. I doubt many men would tolerate working with the kids in the background / having to spin the plates at home while completing a professional job.

My DH is unable to do two things at one time, for example. I find it hard to focus when I’m getting a bit of work done with DS here. He hates it, too. But I do & can make it work when I have to. It’s not ideal.

Exactly. The people who misuse the freedoms are spoiling it for everyone.

Secondary school age (or nearly ) then fine, it won't be very fun for them but they can hopefully occupy themselves

Younger children - you can't be working properly and you need to sort childcare or take leave

The people who misuse the freedoms are spoiling it for everyone.

Yes, definitely

A section of MN is obsessed with the idea that working women with children are entitled and expect the world to revolve around their kids needs (see the frequent posts about parents at work who expect preferential treatment when booking leave at Christmas!)

Well, yeah, because this does happen. I don’t think anyone has said that all working women with kids are like this, but… as you said in your own post, it’s hard to cover all of the holidays with childcare, so colleagues help out!

In 20+ years of working, almost always alongside parents with small children, I’ve never heard one demand that they are given holiday preference over colleagues without children. According to MN folklore it happens all the time.

Most parents are organised enough to know when their children’s school holidays are and book leave well in advance.

Yanbu

I manage a team with a real mix of parents and non parents and it is very rare for non parents to want to holiday in the school holidays as it's more expensive. The only exception really being Christmas but I just take the view we can run on a skeleton crew then

Same here.

If the kids are able to amuse themselves without much supervision, and know that they mustn’t bother their parent while they’re taking calls, then as a manager I wouldn’t mind. (One of my colleagues has children who are 12 and 10 and the only time we’ve ever seen them during a meeting when she’s WFH is when the younger one brought her a cup of tea!)

But if the child is too young or too needy for attention, then it’s not OK. Someone who is looking after a five year old is unlikely to be getting much else done for the majority of the day.

Kids on laps in Team meetings would be a no where I work unless it was a one-off dire emergency. It’s unprofessional and if they’re fidgeting or making a noise it’s disruptive and distracting for everyone else in the meeting. Plus some of the meetings we have include discussions of work-related issues which aren’t appropriate for a child to overhear, for various reasons.

I did once have a manager who essentially told me and my colleague that his leave was more important because he had kids and we didn’t, and made it very difficult for us both, and I once had a boss who brought her (sick!!) toddler into the office for the day on more than one occasion and expected us to watch him when she was in meetings. They were both 15-20 years ago though, and were certainly very much exceptions rather than the rule! They’re the only people I’ve ever worked with who had that attitude (and they were both told that it was unacceptable after people complained).

As a senior manager, if the work is getting done then I don’t care. I would only have an issue if the work isn’t being done.

It’s almost as if your experience isn’t everyone’s.

I’m a manager and a mum and I will be having my children at home during the holidays. They are 6 and 10

If children are of school age then it’s totally possible to do a combination of leave and wfh days if you plan the days out

That said, I would absolutely not have my children on calls - perception is important here. If having them at home isn’t interfering with my ability to work then that is the impression I also need to convey.

It would annoy me if kids were crawling all over people and I think anything under 5 is a no.

I love WFH and I am very strict when I do it.
although my son is nearly 11 and won’t bother me at all, I do make sure to keep it professional and do what I need to do on my break and lunch time.
I think that people do take the piss and can be unprofessional, but if no one tells them how it should be they probably just guess that is ok ?

That just silly . Not so much that kids are home but that they allow them to be part if meetings ? I often have mine with me at home but meetings are done away from them so I can focus