People looking after children while wfh

[paws732]

My company operates mainly remotely, so we mostly work from home with occasional office days. We have a lot of Teams meetings for connectivity.

With the summer holidays, I have had meeting with a lot of colleagues who have their children sitting on their laps during the meetings. These children range from 5-8, and they are not behaving themselves either. One child kept putting things on their mum's head, and another was having a tantrum about being bored.

AIBU to think they shouldn't be looking after children while wfh, even if it's the school holidays? I feel it will eventually spoil wfh arrangements for everyone, as employers will not tolerate this is many companies.

10 almost 11 year old, single mum. I work mainly from home and during the holidays will have him booked into sports clubs etc, he may have the odd day at home while I'm working more as down time when he will watch movies or play online with friends but he doesn't need supervision and I let him know if I'm in a meeting and can't be interrupted.

My boss has small children and has on occasion wfh if one is sick, his alternative would be take a day off, whereas he knows it's better to dip in and out of work for the day doing what he can than leave it all for the next day.

I don't think what you're describing sounds ok though, I remember homeschooling when mine was seven, it was like hell on earth, I almost had a breakdown and was relieved when my contract was cut short.

My firm was very flexible about children during lockdown (didn't really have much choice!). However when we moved to hybrid working after everything reopened, the concerns us was: if you have young children you need to consider your childcare as if you were physically in the office. Partly because you are supposed to be working as usual, partly because you could get called into the office at very short notice if your presence is required.

They are still very accommodating where there is an urgent need (kid home off sick, etc, whereas pre-pandemic we would have to use holiday or taken unpaid leave) and many people flex their hours around time spent tending to children.

There are definitely people that quietly flout this though. They are usually the people that sit on calls with their camera and microphone muted every single time, disappear when participation is required, still stick rigidly to their contracted hours, and are not setting the world alight with their productivity.

No parent wants to care for a child whilst WFH’ing. It’s a complete ballache. Sadly, annual holiday leave doesn’t match the 14 weeks of holiday kids have. So you can either send them to holiday camp (up to £60 per day), hire a nanny (£18 per hour) or suck it up and look after them yourself. I find the more skilled the role/higher the day rate, the more likely they are to have proper wrap care in place. Equally we have friends who are both solicitors (and v senior), who don’t opt for full holiday wrap care and each look after the kids on their WFH days. What industry are you in?

With the summer holidays, I have had meeting with a lot of colleagues who have their children sitting on their laps during the meetings. These children range from 5-8, and they are not behaving themselves either. One child kept putting things on their mum's head, and another was having a tantrum about being bored.

:) :) :)
5-8 year olds an their laps? :)

on not an

i read before some people feed their horses or make bread :)

I have a few friends in their early/mid-30s who have left jobs post-Covid after their WFH was revoked by company or minimum office days were mandated. They've all managed to find better-paid and more flexible roles subsequently (graphic design, software developer, project manager). It feels like it's easier to recruit people at the start of their career to full-time office roles or inflexible working arrangements, but experienced, older staff are less likely to accept that now.

My work policy states that you must have childcare in place for under 12s. That said, my boss is very understanding and accommodating, despite not being a parent herself, and more or less said she expects there to be times over the summer holidays when my 6 year old may be with me.

I think I’m trusted to be honest and make up time as and when necessary.

My non public sector employer would have to actually arrange working premises first before ending wfh lol. In multiple areas of the UK!

Not allowed where I work. You’d have WFH revoked.

Good grief, you need to chill out

Just because some organisations no longer operate physical workplaces doesn't give (some) employees the right to take the piss with their output due to childcare issues.

My work place is identical

I would not allow this.

Would you take your children into the office whilst working? No. Would your manager/boss allow this in ANY workplace? No.

So why on earth does anyone think it's OK to have them there when working from home? And sitting on your lap during a meeting too!

No. Just no.

The opposite side of this argument is that children deserve the full attention of their parents when they are at home. Just imagine if the nursery staff had a Teams meeting whilst at work, and just left the kids to it? Or teachers had a training day whilst teaching - and the kids were left to colour in or watch dodgy videos all day?

I would not be at all impressed in the circumstances described in the op as if I was in the meeting then this would also be impacting on my time in terms of a distraction.

I personally like the flexibility that wfh brings and for those who have older children it is great not to have to pay for full time childcare. And as someone who went through the pain of this cost am sensitive to this for parents.

But more worryingly is that a lot of employers are starting to increasingly realise that too many are abusing the flexibility and not to the benefit of the employer. Yes there will be some that don’t have a problem with children being around but the vast majority aren’t and like the Op, I do worry that this abuse of flexibility will result in a move back to the office.

People do like to foist their children on others though, not everyone thinks that other peoples children are lovely though however lovely you think they are, or how cute heir naughtiness is.

And the type of employee who thinks it's acceptable to have a KS1-aged child on their lap misbehaving is doing a massive disservice to those colleagues who make proper arrangements. They're going to be really pissed off if the privilege/perk/call it what you will of wfh is revoked for all.

I don't see how that's acceptable. I WFH and care for my child but would never have her there during a meeting. It's distracting for others too so simply not fair.

I've wfh for 6 yrs and during Covid my dd was with me as she was a baby but once childcare opened back up she has always gone to childminder/ nursery unless sick then work are flexible .. but you can't work with young children at home and my work would not allow it.

Well I WFH and have my kids here in the school holidays. They're 8 years old (twins) and they entertain themselves. I have a flexible working agreement that says I can start early - usually 6.30am and finish early to spend time with them in the school holidays I have lunch with them and other than that they mostly just do their own thing. Reading, gaming, trampoline, drawing. It works. And it saved me a LOT of money. They would never interrupt a meeting except in an emergency and they like being at home. Why should I give that up because other people don't like it? My work doesn't suffer and my boss is happy with the situation 🤷

But they aren't on your lap are they.

One off emergency, child illness or childcare fell through, fine not a problem.

Regular basis not ok.

And I don't know anyone who tries to work from home on a regular basis with children who are an age that requires supervision.

That's very much been the picture where I work. Sickness absence has gone through the floor and some of the working practices we were forced to introduce during the pandemic have proved to be so good that we're sticking to them.

My team has caseloads that are double their pre-Covid size and that would have been impossible to manage if most of our work was done F2F because of the travelling time involved in getting to see clients. We are exceeding our KPIs by well over 100%, so there's been no drop in the quality of the work, either.

Hybrid working is here to stay for us.

It very much depends on the nature of the job and the personality of the child.

I had a holiday club place booked for DS for this summer, until I was informed at the last minute that they'd made a mistake and couldn't take him due to his age (4).

So we had to find a plan B, but despite DH and I booking all of our annual leave, there were still two weeks that we couldn't cover between us, so I had to speak to my manager (initial to ask for unpaid leave) and he was absolutely fine with me working with DS in the background. I already WFH full time and am rarely involved in meetings where I have my camera on/need to talk much, which probably helps.