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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this put you off?

130 replies

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 11:38

I’ve been seeing a guy for a while, I’m a single parent. My DC was supposed to be staying over at my parents house at the weekend and me and him planned a date and then I would be stopping over at his house

I had to cancel as my DC was no longer able to stop at my parents house. He said I could just bring her round to his house and he’d put the tv on for her whilst we ‘get busy’think he was just thinking of one thing. He has not met her before

Would this out put you off? I said it wouldn’t really be possible as it would be her bed time and at first he said he understood but I haven’t heard from him hardly since then

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 04/08/2023 12:18

Fuck no - so your his post party shag?!

doesn’t even have to invest in a proper date with you?

He’s very clearly telling you, you and him are fuck buddies - no more than that. It’s up to you to decide if you want to accept these scraps he’s offering

Tabitha005 · 04/08/2023 12:19

So he expects you to take your DC with you to his house AFTER he's finished drinking with his mates (at whatever time of night that might be) with the express purpose of the two of you having sex? He sounds like a disrespectful, immature, selfish idiot and definitely best avoided.

TwilightSkies · 04/08/2023 12:20

OP your standards are sooooo low. He’s using you. Stay away from men and work on your self-esteem.

tattygrl · 04/08/2023 12:22

Ew! He sounds like an immature horny teenage boy. And to be honest, most teenage boys would have the thoughtfulness to not want to plan a sex sesh with a kid in the next room.

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 04/08/2023 12:23

Booty call.
Bin him.

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 12:23

@Tabitha005 it was last weekend that he said I could bring her with me but I think he wants me to drop her at my parents and come to see him after he’s done at his mates drinking

OP posts:
LIZS · 04/08/2023 12:25

Why are your standards so low?

Blogswife · 04/08/2023 12:26

Bloody hell, what a catch - he’s hardly step dad material is he ? 😂
I think it’s obvious what he’s after , if you feel the same go for it but ffs don’t involve your child

Multipleexclamationmarks · 04/08/2023 12:27

Ew love, self respect! Just no.

TheJRTwontLetMeBe · 04/08/2023 12:32

Are you really that desperate? He's obviously just using you for sex. Not a problem if that's what you want too but if you want anything more he's not the one.

FinallyHere · 04/08/2023 12:34

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 12:23

@Tabitha005 it was last weekend that he said I could bring her with me but I think he wants me to drop her at my parents and come to see him after he’s done at his mates drinking

Why are you still asking this?

I get that you would be so surprised the first time something like this happened that you want to ask to confirm your gut feel. Now, here we are again. He couldn't he cleared, he is showing you what he wants and how little regard he has for you.

What are you still finding attractive about this excuse for a man?

QueenofTerrasen · 04/08/2023 12:35

Erm, no thanks - seriously do not

QuaversAndRedbull · 04/08/2023 12:43

He's got zero respect for you. He wants you for sex and thats it.

I would have ended things the moment it became clear he felt it appropriate to dump a child he's never met in front if the tv at his house so he can go fuck you upstairs. What kind of dipshit thinks that's in anyway appropriate meeting of a child for the first time.

He wouldn't be me messaging me week later to suggest I go to fuck him after he's done having fun with his mates either because he'd have been blocked the moment he suggested I do that with my daughter.

fullbloom87 · 04/08/2023 12:57

Erm yes it would definitely put me off. First meetings with boyfriends (and you don't even consider him a boyfriend yet) should be at a park or a zoo or somewhere not in mums bit of stuffs living room while she shags him.

ManateeFair · 04/08/2023 13:01

Isleofw · 04/08/2023 12:15

He has messaged just now asking if I want to come tonight but he said he will be round at a mates drinking and that I can meet him after at his

As I said - he's using you for sex.

He doesn't care about you. Have some self-respect and end it.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 04/08/2023 13:06

He has zero respect for you or your DD.

Don`t let him (or anyone else) treat you this way.

  1. You`re showing your DD that it`s okay to treat you with disrespect.
  2. You`re showing your DD that disrespect is acceptable. Do you want her to be treated like that by men when she`s older?
  3. You definitely deserve better!

Block him.

Tabitha005 · 04/08/2023 13:13

@Isleofw ah, right.... still, not massively enticing though, is it? You turn up once he's had a skinful with his mates. It'd still be a hard 'no' from me.

Applecrumble24 · 04/08/2023 13:17

Why are you still replying to him?!!

Wishimaywishimight · 04/08/2023 13:45

You would want to be desperate (and this is how he will view you) if you go along with this. He sounds truly awful.

LifeExperience · 04/08/2023 13:50

Have some self respect! He only wants you for sex. Get rid.

Hankunamatata · 04/08/2023 13:52

Grim

LardoBurrows · 04/08/2023 13:55

Booty call. Why are your standards so low? Do you not think you deserve better?

Nodramabanana · 04/08/2023 13:59

Errr yes. I would be totally put off someone who would think it would be appropriate to dump a kid infront of a TV so he could go next door and shag his mum. What a creepy thing to think is ok.

LetMeEnfoldYou · 04/08/2023 14:00

Hahaha what a skanky fuckboy!

Bin, immediately!

WunWun · 04/08/2023 14:03

That is fucking disgusting.

I hope you're not still responding?