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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is once a week too often to talk to a parent?

129 replies

Kowaii · 03/08/2023 19:43

I usually try and FaceTime my dad once a week as my kids love speaking to him (he lives quite far away) and I like speaking to my siblings (who are all children).

Apparently this is causing issues with his wife who has told me it’s not approx to disturb their family life so often and it’s weird that as an adult I want to speak to my father so often. I actually went years without speaking to him at one point, but I am happy with where things are now and my children really love him and miss him.

Aibu? Should I cut it down or is the wife the one being unreasonable? I know she doesn’t not like me at all but I feel she should just kind of get over that like I’ve had to.

OP posts:
HamBone · 03/08/2023 21:01

Wow, what a nasty cow. ☹️ I used to speak to my Dad once a week, but now he’s widowed, we speak pretty much daily.

She’s clearly trying to cut you/your children out of your Dad’s life. Don’t let her succeed.

Belizenavidad · 03/08/2023 21:01

I think thats perfectly fine! His wife sounds like a nasty bitch tbh! I’ve spoken to my mum 3 times today, sometimes we go 2/3 days with just a text, I also speak to my stepmum at least 3/4 times a week - its what ever you and your dad want. She is totally barmy for getting so angry about it!

ActDottie · 03/08/2023 21:02

Once a week is nothing I FaceTime my parents about three times a week.

Nutsabouttopic · 03/08/2023 21:03

I speak to my mum at least once a day for about an hour. One or other of my DC speak to her every day too. We live a couple of hundred miles apart so at least four times a year she comes to stay for two weeks. Before my DH father passed he spoke to him every day. Step mum sounds like a jealous bitch

Original poster
Kowaii · 03/08/2023 21:06

To be honest it’s not even really once a week anymore. He doesn’t answer every time so can be weeks between calls. I get hes busy with his kids but my children miss him a lot and are always asking to talk to him.

OP posts:
HalloumiLuvver · 03/08/2023 21:08

She’s clearly trying to cut you/your children out of your Dad’s life. Don’t let her succeed

Absolutely this. Keep up the contact and don't let her get in the way of you and your children's relationship. She sounds unhinged.

ballsdeep · 03/08/2023 21:10

Omg! I speak to my parents about ten times a day!!!! She’s being controlling and unreasonable!

LindorDoubleChoc · 03/08/2023 21:12

I find once a week speaking to my parent a bit much tbh (I don't instigate it) and would prefer it was fortnightly. But that's just my family and I understand other people have other priorities.

Lwrenagain · 03/08/2023 21:17

Tell her to get tae fuck.

Don't know who the hell she thinks she is or why the hell she thinks she can dictate such a thing, entitled gobshite.

I hate her, vile, vile person.

legsjusttoomanylegs · 03/08/2023 21:17

I would have asked her how she would feel when she is older and how she would feel if someone stopped her talking to her children. That might help her understand.

Songbird54321 · 03/08/2023 21:18

Obviously she's being unreasonable. I speak to my parents most days (phone or text) and see them twice a week.
We also speak to my in laws most days and see them twice a week minimum.
I don't think once a week is excessive at all.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 03/08/2023 21:18

Once a week is pretty normal. The wife’s being an arse.

YukoandHiro · 03/08/2023 21:19

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 03/08/2023 19:50

What’s it got to do with her!? You are an adult and he is an adult. You don’t need anyone’s permission to speak to each other ffs.

This!

dinoice · 03/08/2023 21:20

Nah not a chance I would accept that. Call him daily. Ask him to call you.

If she objects, tell him. That's nonsense.

Merrz · 03/08/2023 21:22

MavisChunch29 · 03/08/2023 19:48

She can fuck off to the far side of fuck.

Love this, I will definitely be using this quote 😂

SadButStillTrue · 03/08/2023 21:22

She can't dictate how often you talk to your Dad. One day you won't have him. She's very unreasonable but I dare say she'll never see that so there's no point in trying to reason with her .

Dymaxion · 03/08/2023 21:22

How old are his other children @Kowaii ?

MsCathy · 03/08/2023 21:24

Once a week is way too much for me, but my dad is quite horrible.
Probably fine for most people with nice dads though.

SweetBirdsong · 03/08/2023 21:24

Oh my days she sounds miserable. He needs to tell her to get a grip. WTAF? It's once a WEEK!

SweetBirdsong · 03/08/2023 21:25

Merrz · 03/08/2023 21:22

Love this, I will definitely be using this quote 😂

Show quote history

It continues..... 'and when you get there, fuck off some more!' 😆

whatthebejesus · 03/08/2023 21:26

100% not over the top. I see my mum 3x a week and speak to her probably a couple of times outside of that too. I used to speak to my dad most days when he was alive. At least 5x a week.

Original poster
Kowaii · 03/08/2023 21:29

Dymaxion · 03/08/2023 21:22

How old are his other children @Kowaii ?

They’re 12, 9, 6 and 3.

OP posts:
Whattodowithit88 · 03/08/2023 21:32

With regards to my (late) dad- once a week wasn’t enough, I spoke to him most days.

My mother- once a month is too much!! And I tend not too.

Deends on the relationship I guess. Your dads wife sounds jealous- do her kids not like talking to her?

Rycbar · 03/08/2023 21:33

I speak to my parents multiple times a week and I see them at least once a week. His wife is being unreasonable absolutely

SadieOlsen · 03/08/2023 21:39

That's very sad you are getting hassled for that. Once a week is not too much. I spoke to my Dad every single day as an adult. He's gone now.