In not shouting dp down for tea?

[Rossannah]

I am preparing tea, dp is mooching about the house, glueing things he's broken etc. And we are chatting about our day etc. I put the food in the air fryer and set it for 10 minutes. He said have I got time for a shower? I said yes, it will be done in 10 minutes and pointed at the airfryer. It actually needed another 5 minutes. Once done, I dished it up and didn't shout him. That was 40 minutes ago. According to dd he's sat on the bed on his phone.

I think he should have come straight down, I know he Is waiting for me to shout him that it's done. Imo I didn't need to, he knew how long it was going to be. Yes I am petty but who is unreasonable?

In my house it's like seeing dinner nearly ready is a queue to take a shower. It's a pain in backside. I don't wait if it's ready and they're not back down. I'm. Not eating cold food because they can't plan their day. They've been mooching about for ages, nit like they've just come in the door and are in a dirty job.

I dont think that it is petty at all.

DS can be like this. I will tell them that dinner will be ready in 10 minutes (say) and he will wander off the others would be waiting. I would call him and he would still be another 10 minutes and then moan.

Now I say "Dinner will be at 6, be there at 6 or go hungry" I only had to see that through once.

When he has a go say "WEll I told you it would be 10 minutes, and when you didnt come down I assumed you werent hungry. Only a child would need reminding"

DP waits until I've come downstairs before finishing off cooking and has been known to wander off and do his own thing if I don't appear, leaving nearly cooked food to get cold.

I get my arse downstairs these days.

Yes, you have won this little battle.
what is the next one? Whose turn is it to put out the bins?
Try and see how many wins you can get each day.

THIS

Exactly! My goodness, if DH was preparing me a meal or even just making a cup of tea I'd expect him to tell me when it was ready (yes even if he'd said it'll be 10 minutes)! It's such an easy thing to do. Takes 2 seconds.
The thought of him sitting there eating whilst my food was getting cold is really odd and petty.

No, but there’s nice things we can do for those in our lives that we love - such as calling them down for tea.

It’s called not being a CF 😅

So if you say dinner will be ready at x time then you get distracted is it ok to sit at the table singing why are we waiting

It seems like only women are expected to be 'nice' though.

It's also nice to show up to dinner when someone has made it for you without needing to be reminded like a child.

I holler up the stairs every evening for DS. It's irritating, especially when he knows what time dinner is, may even have laid the table for me, then disappears back upstairs and shuts his bedroom door. Grrrrrrrrr.

But I wouldn't not call him, that's not nice.

On a slightly different note, I now appreciate the purpose of a dinner gong that you see in period dramas. Perfect to loudly convey that dinner is ready to all and sundry. I want one!

Alexa announces stuff in my house. " dinners ready!" Plate food, shove in microwave.
If they don't turn up when it's announced, not my problem.

I can understand both perspectives, maybe it was important

We have bell. It gets rung when people are absent from the table when the meal is ready.

It works for us.

I don’t yell. If I’ve told household dinner is ready at a specific time I’ll eat with or without them. Nobody dares moan about it. I’ve cooked they can reheat their food or eat it cold as one DC did as can’t be bothered to warm it up again. It’s not my problem.

Dunno, I love my DH
I want him to eat and be happy and also for us to not encourage pettiness between each other. Costs me nothing to shout I’m plating up.

I assume there’s more to it, otherwise yes YABU

Well he knows he had 10 minutes, which is a shower, dry and dress and down, so it rather begs the qn why he waits for you to call?

Because he is Lord and you should notify him when he have served him his meal?
Because there's kids and chores and he likes to be away from them as long as possible?
So he can use it against you to prove how awful you are?

I mean noone of it sounds great. DH would say 10 minutes, and then call when actually serving it. He wouldn't continue to call so long as he didn't think I'd dozed off.

So you'd rather throw perfectly good food away rather than call?

I have no words...

They get a dinner will be ready in 5. Up to them when they come and get it. I dont notice, as soon as I've plated up I'm eating 😁 I like mine fresh. The kids text when they've cooked. Dh shouts after he's plated up.
If you told him 10 mins surely he should have come down straight out of the shower. I would just assume he wanted his later and get on with eating mine.

I got a gong because I hate shouting up the stairs!

I think your husband is being very disrespectful. Do actively walk away from dinner when you know someone's bothered to make it and dish it up for you is just rude.

Why do you think that's ok? Do you walk away when you pull up on the drive with the shopping, just expecting your husband to put it away? No? Your husband needs to learn some manners.

Yeh after I've gone to all the trouble of cooking the meal I want to be able to sit and enjoy the food. I don't want to have to run around herding everyone else up, because they can't be bothered to remember when tea is (every day).

I tell DP our meal will be ready in 10-15 minutes. He takes a quick shower (fine) - and then he sits upstairs playing on his phone for another half hour or so, rather than making the effort to get dressed and come back downstairs to eat.

Mmm, I don't need Alexa to tell me that he's a prick.

I hope you are ok, OP

I have more than a few words about people who know that someone else is cooking them a meal, knows when said meal will be ready to eat but still expects to be chivvied to the table like a recalctirant toddler.

And the food doesnt need to be thrown away, it can be nuked, or refrigerated and eaten the next day.

And there is nothing less sexy than living with a person who plays with his toys until Mum calls him for dinner.