Are we not allowed to complain since the birth of the term “Karen”

[Willitstopraining]

This is lighthearted. Maybe it’s just me but it seems now I can’t complain about anything without being labelled a “Karen” by my dc. Even when I have completely legitimate reasons. I don’t look for things that annoy but if I see kids eating a box of KFC outside in the street, and leaving loads of rubbish (including rat attracting chicken bones and skin) behind them, you better believe I’ll call them back and tell them to take it home with them, or dispose of it in one of the various bins in the area. If I go to a restaurant that’s pretty much empty and am not eating within 1hr 10 minutes ( a good 45 minutes after the starters were ordered) then I think it’s fine to remind staff we’ve been here a while. And if I pay to get my dc hair cut and it’s uneven surely I’m allowed to bring this to the hairdressers attention. I’m never cheeky to staff anywhere,I always tip hairdressers and wait staff regardless, and try to be as courteous as possible, and to their credit most agree if I point something out and the situation is quickly rectified. However we will no sooner be in the car than dc are saying things like “come on Karen, you’ve more people to tell off today”or “ I know a few pigeons that need taking down a peg or two” 😂. Surely if something is wrong I can say it.

Yep. It's misogyny and it's designed to shut women up. There's no equivalent term for men.

This.
We complain if we want to. There's no "allow" about it.
Your children need educating. They're getting this narrative from somewhere.

Another one agreeing with Countess

Absolutely. It’s working very well in its intended purpose- to shut us up and ridicule us.
I would not tolerate my kids calling me that. But as PPs have mentioned, I’d want them to know why it’s wrong, and for them to look up its origin in the US. It didn’t start out as “women are wrong to complain about bad service and deserve to be insulted for it”.
This is a serious matter, not something to be lighthearted about, because that implies that women’s concerns about things like this are not to be taken seriously.

Truth hurts. Sounds like you are a bit of a moaner and they’re probably misusing the term but you probably are extra picky and they don’t like it. It probably makes them cringe.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel
Your dcs need you to explain to them exactly what is wrong with the term Karen when used in that sense and why you won’t tolerate ageism and misogyny in your house.

That’s definitely Karen behaviour lol.

///

Please do elaborate, if that's not too "Karen-y" of me to ask?

No name calling allowed in my family. Especially misogynist name calling. Shouldn't be in yours either.

Sounds like a problem with your DC.

Maybe find out where they have got it from and what it means to them?

Its inappropriate for them to criticise you this way. Not their fault but you need to understand what has influenced them and explain how it is wrong.

To me it means someone voluntarily taking on the role of Govt/Stasi enforcer because she likes the power trip.

That is most definitely not mentioning that a few more snips are needed whilst at the hairdresser!

How old are your kids op?
If mine were older than say 10 they would be getting out of the car and walking home if they were so rude to me.
You need to pull them up on it every single time.

I wouldn’t be paying for their haircut again if they don’t show you some respect.

Absolutely would not accept my kids using the term Karen, I bet they're quite happy for your assertiveness when it's in their benefit. I wouldn't encourage it by not properly picking them up on it.

@YouNob where does the OP or the PP mention that they scream at staff? The OP went out of her way to describe how she always is courteous and polite, and tips staff regardless.

Well, I’m as working class as they come and I definitely will complain if something’s not right.

Not sure where that puts me in Youknobs definition.

So what if they cringe. They’re teenagers - their mum simply breathing makes them cringe.

When my DD called me a Karen for the first and last time, it’s because I complained in a restaurant on account of DS’s chicken being raw and half the order being wrong. Apparently it made her cringe. My reply: tough shit. I’m not paying £70 for a meal out to almost be poisoned and for whole entire meals to be wrong. If she doesn’t like it she can stay home - but I don’t tolerate pisspoor service and neither should she when she’s older.
Thankfully She got it and the whole Karen nonsense. But like others tweens she’d seen some shite on YouTube about Karen’s. As parents it’s our job to educate when children are being inducted into misogynistic ideals

I work in retail and my kids are always asking me if I've "had any Karen's".
I tell them that people being wildly unreasonable, the way they've seen online, is pretty rare.
Those clips are faked. Or they're unfortunate people with emotional regulation issues, who shouldn't be taunted.
I tell them that in real life, people mostly get upset if something costs more than they expected, or if a voucher doesn't work. Because a lot of people are struggling for money and it makes them scared and sad.
I try to give them a more accurate picture of how and why conflicts occur.
The two most recent incidents of a customer bullying staff, just for the sake of it, have both been men.
And I think, both times, they were getting off on being aggressive towards female staff, in a way they wouldn't attempt with a man.
A recently had to do a course in "defusing conflict with great customer service" and it might as well have been titled "How to placate aggressive men" Honestly, a bit depressing 😥

This is the thing - men are the perpetrators in 99% of violent crime. It’s universally acknowledged that men are The Problem when it comes to aggression, intimidation, anger and violence.
And yet - it’s women who get the special monicker for being angry.
I wonder why that is.

Any ideas @YouNob

My children and others can call me "Karen" all they like, but I won't tolerate myself or others being called "a Karen".

And I will speak up/ complain about something if I want to. And get me, I even use my own name to do it. Karen Karen Karen Karen. I'm not going to be shut down by some misogynist nonsense. Not my fault my parents happened to choose this name decades ago. I like my name.

@KarenKarenKarenKaren Karen is a beautiful name! I feel for all the Karen’s who now have to tolerate this shite.

I asked them a while ago what it meant and they both started talking about a YouTube post they’d seen. A woman in her 40s that always complains and has a certain hairstyle ect. I doubt either of them know the true origins and say it as an ill informed joke. They’re good kids though and I receive a lot of compliments on how polite and well mannered they are. They also regularly pull my df up if he’s driving them somewhere and he dares to mention women drivers. I’ll just leave it there and the next time they say it I’ll talk them through the true story, and why it’s not funny and certainly not something they should be saying.

Seriously though OP tell them to nip Karen calling in the bud. It’s ageist and misogynistic and a way to silence women. Don’t tolerate it - it’s a battle worth picking

What's the original US meaning?

Spot on.

It’s a misogynistic dog whistle. I immediately lose respect for anyone I hear using it.