Strangers (men) saying hello

[magicalkitty]

When I am out walking alone (which I do quite a bit) I usually avoid eye contact with others, especially men. I find some men try and talk with you if you meet their eyes. I have been told to smile, had comments about my glasses and clothes from complete strangers (and yes always seems to be men who make these comments). In the past when I have tried to be polite I have ended up in awkward situations with these men who seem to be trying to flirt with total strangers. So if they say 'hello' I ignore.

It's quite common for dog walkers and elderly people to say 'hello' when we walk past each other and that seems normal and more acceptable somehow.

But a few days ago, I walked past a man around 45 who was by his car, not looking in his direction, and he said hello to me. I completely ignored his and kept walking. He then said hello again but again I ignored.

AIBU to think it's odd for men to do this? Or am I being overly precious/rude and saying 'hello' to strangers while walking is just polite?

I have a family member who says 'hello' to every woman they walk past, and I tried to tell him this could be a bit unnerving for some lone women. He didn't understand what I'm talking about.

Nope. Live in a small rural town.

Because they know other men aren't intimidated. They do it to communicate that they're just a normal person on a walk.

Not my experience. They do it to try to strike up conversation and try to chat women up. They need to fuck off and let me get in with my day.

‘Hello’ usually leads to random comments on future days. I’ve been there many times before so now I just ignore them all. I don’t care if they think I’m rude, I’m not here to be polite to men or be grateful that they’ve commented on my running technique or what I’m wearing. 🧐 I don’t enjoy their comments about me.

My male partner doesn’t say hello or try to chat to random women, give them running tips or comment which colour sports bra they’ve got on today. 🤢🤮

Good men know not to greet lone women. A man who does it anyway is at best a selfish prick on an attention-grabbing ego trip, and at worst a murderer.

We don't all live in places where every random man is a potential rapist/murderer. Good men here greet anyone passing, it's called community spirit.

Walking the dog everyone says hello to each other.

Out and about, strange men use to say hello to me when I was younger and slimmer. Can't think why that stopped.....

Where we have our little holiday home, virtually everyone says hello/good morning when you’re out and about.

I’ve never noticed. Depending on the area you live in many people will say hello, or nod etc. I always acknowledge someone if out walking. I don’t walk in woods etc alone, even with my dog. Joined a ladies walking group so I can enjoy our lovely countryside safely

As someone who has been abused by a man just saying hello on the street, it's very much not okay if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You know when it's a normal hello Vs a creepy hello. There IS a difference and I'm one to keep my head down and go into myself when I identify the latter.

Normal if you live somewhere quite rural I suppose. I live in a city and to me this:

I have a family member who says 'hello' to every woman they walk past,

is toddler behaviour

I guess I’m ridiculously vulnerable walking around fields with the dogs (well apart from having two beasts with large teeth), but everyone talks to eachother rurally. Usually it’s a proper conversation, usually about dogs, not just a hello.

Would be awful to feel so worried.

I think it's friendly and I like it

Saying hello is now odd? people say hello to me and I too them

If it upsets people so much wear a badge that says 'do not speak to me'

I say morning to people but only in my age or older. Definitely not to younger I'd find that a weird thing to do.

Why on earth did he put his hands on your waist?

Man you don't know says hello
In a city=creepy
Countryside walk, passing =polite
Countryside walk, man loitering by car =creepy

I often say hello or good morning to people coming towards me if I'm out walking and catch their eye.

Depends entirely on the look of the person as to whether i say hello to them if they say it first. E.G. if they look leery or whatever I'll ignore them.

Everyone says hello to everyone around here, from toddlers to teenagers to the elderly, especially if you're on a dog walk.

It would be more unusual for the other person to ignore you and tbh for many locals it would come over as rude if you just ignored them and walked off.

I like the fact everyone says hello where I live. But that's not to diminish your experience, OP. We tend to know when things feel a bit off.

I think it depends where you live. I’m in a quiet part of Cornwall. It’s normal to smile and say hello to pretty much everyone you pass when in a village or walking the dog as you don’t pass that many people. I always reply with a hello.

When I’ve lived in/been in a busier spot however and guys (who are usually much much older than me) making gateway chats to flirting/asking me out, I’ll shut that down straight away and ignore.

If you had to say 23 hellos on the way to the corner shop, six hellos inside, and 17 hellos on the way back, I don't know if your sanity would hold after a week or so of this.

It's down to population density where you are. Three hellos in a walk: fine.

Passing 42 people?: No one is expecting a hello. Maybe a 'morning' to your next door neighbour as you leave the house. A 'thank you' to the corner shop guy. And a 'hello' to the school mum you recognize as you walk.

Where I live it's normal to say 'morning' or nod your head at passer bys when you're on a walk and there aren't many people around. It's usually men and they're just saying that to be polite and friendly. They just say it as we walk past one another and I'll also return the greeting (although I don't usually initiate it). Honestly depends on context.

Every time I travel down south, I forget how self absorbed people are. I was once on a tube in London and was sexually assaulted as a man kept rubbing himself against me. I struggled to move away and if I found even a tiny bit of space he would follow. Others witnessed this and didn't say anything. They looked at me and then looked away. This has never happened to me on even the busiest trains in the North.

I live in London and if someone said hello to me, I would think they were about to ask me for money. But if you don’t feel comfortable saying hello to a stranger, then don’t, no matter what the etiquette where you live.

Depends where you are. In London I wouldn't say hello to any randomers. If they said hello to me I'd smile politely but not say anything.

In my own village I normally just say hello to everyone and anyone even if they haven't said hello to me.

I think it depends on the place, the situation the greeting and the context. Some interactions are pleasantly friendly and some might feel uncomfortable or even threatening. If people feel uncomfortable that should be respected.

No need for sneering comments about "cool girls" though.

Very normal here to say g'day or how ya goin'? (not a sentence, all one word) as you're walking past someone. I've never stopped to think they could have some type of agenda and if I did think that I'd be asking myself why or how I came up with that thought in the first place.

YABVU and really rude. DH says hello to both men and women wherever he goes because it’s friendly to do so.

I'm curious ....presumably you are with him when he is doing this?? Why is he the one saying hello to everyone and you are not ? Do you say hello to everyone too?
Do you ever walk alone and have Leary men or scary youth speak to you - is cat calling ok to you ?