Strangers (men) saying hello

[magicalkitty]

When I am out walking alone (which I do quite a bit) I usually avoid eye contact with others, especially men. I find some men try and talk with you if you meet their eyes. I have been told to smile, had comments about my glasses and clothes from complete strangers (and yes always seems to be men who make these comments). In the past when I have tried to be polite I have ended up in awkward situations with these men who seem to be trying to flirt with total strangers. So if they say 'hello' I ignore.

It's quite common for dog walkers and elderly people to say 'hello' when we walk past each other and that seems normal and more acceptable somehow.

But a few days ago, I walked past a man around 45 who was by his car, not looking in his direction, and he said hello to me. I completely ignored his and kept walking. He then said hello again but again I ignored.

AIBU to think it's odd for men to do this? Or am I being overly precious/rude and saying 'hello' to strangers while walking is just polite?

I have a family member who says 'hello' to every woman they walk past, and I tried to tell him this could be a bit unnerving for some lone women. He didn't understand what I'm talking about.

YABVU and really rude. DH says hello to both men and women wherever he goes because it’s friendly to do so.

Where I live, practically everyone says hello, some even say “nice morning” or similar.

Londonder are you?

I'm not going to walk round in perpetual fear because of isolated horror stories on the news.

That said, I do have a huge keyring with a retractable blade about three inches long. It's almost certainly illegal but you'd never find it if you didn't know - even bouncers who've searched me haven't clocked it.

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six as they say. I also trained kali (amongst other martial arts) for years and am pretty good with knives. I've done hours upon hours of suited up full speed sparring and I'm fairly confident I could cut most attacking men to shreds if it came to it. Certainly enough to get away.

I'm really not a psycho though lol. 😂

The whole Sarah Everard thing has a few odd bits to it. I used to live about 200 yards from where she started and now live 400 or 500 yards from where she was last seen. Know the whole area intimately. the route was most likely being on the main road that runs through the middle of Clapham Common not across it..

Undisputable though is that Wayne Couzens is the sort of psychopath that should never have been let into the Met and whose subsequent behaviour should have seen him kicked out well before this horrible murder,

And as for the Met's behaviour at the Clapham Common vigil words fail me - an utter disgrace.

How are the amount of yards you lived away from either of those places relevant?

Just know the area really well

You’ll get a thread full of ‘Cool Girls’ saying they chat to every guy in the street that they meet and they have always been fine.

Must you really insult other women because they have different experiences to you?

OP, I think like others have said it can sometimes be area dependent. But if you're not happy to reply, then please never worry about it. You don't owe anyone anything.

@ManAboutTown is clearly hinting at something @Beenhereforever1978

Probably some kind of victim blaming from the tone.

OK? How is that relevant to this thread or the comment you were replying to.

Nope the whole thing was awful and I hope Couzens rots in jail for 50 years like he should Sort of thing we should have the death penalty for

I hope your Mother sees this.

Nice to 'meet' you @Beenhereforever1978

See, I can be sociable

I think we've probably met a few times over the years! Especially if you've ever been a Hedgewitch?

Funny how lots of men say hello to us women walking alone but not to other men. 🤔

My teen daughter has been out shopping today with her dad and he came home very angry at the amount of pervy men he noticed looking at her. She’s 14 ffs and looks 14.

Sick to death of pervy men.

You definitely don't live in the north east then. You'd be unusual not to say hello.

@DrunkenHandstand

I would say hello to a single magpie, and ask after his wife.

I would also say good morning/afternoon to anyone I met on a walk, male or female, because I'm not a complete arse.

Funny how lots of men say hello to us women walking alone but not to other men.

Because they know other men aren't intimidated. They do it to communicate that they're just a normal person on a walk.

I'm in the West of Ireland and it is so normal here to say hello to everyone you pass man or woman. So for me personally it is a non issue and I don't see it as being creepy or pervy in anyway.

A few weeks ago a man put his hands on my waist when I was out walking the dogs, that was creepy but a hello, nice weather, lovely dogs or whatever is normal.

When I go walking with my friend, ao countryside, small villages etc he always says good morning to people, they always say good morning back or they get in with a good morning first etc.

I've never known him do it on a walk to our local pub in a built up area though. Seems to be something people do in smaller places and while tracking through fields

It depends for me, I'm a big believer in listening to your instincts and if they're telling you to not engage with someone I think you're better off listening to them then worrying about being rude. It's one of those things a blanket rule doesn't apply to.

Yes, YABU

It's actually a subconscious message to a stranger, I read. It signals 'it's okay, I'm friend not foe'. So if anything I think men are the more likely to do it because they'll recognise that a lone woman passing then might need reassurance.

I agree with this, too.

If you mean when you are walking along the street, then it would be a bit odd to say hellp to everyone if you were in a busy City Centre, but if - as it sounds - you are walking in a wood, or across a field or up a hill, then it is normal etiquette to greet fellow walkers (with or without a dog) with a 'hello' / 'good afternoon' / or 'bit of a chilly one today, isn't it?' type greeting. To not do so, would be considered rude, yes.

Depends where you live... when I was in the SE no-one acknowledged anyone in the NE/NW everyone's dead friendly.

Do you live in a city?