to be considering living on benefits until DS3 starts nursery or school.......

[FAQ]

when DH split up.

I've never claimed any benefits (apart from TC and CB) but am now facing the reality of having to do so. I don't feel bad/guilty etc about that - it's life - even if I find a job with childcare factored in I'm still not going to be earning enough to be able to live without claiming. I've always sort of sat on the fence with regards to people living on benefits that could be working.

However part of me is thinking - DS3 starts nursery in 2 1/2yrs time, school in 3 1/2yrs time. If I've read all the information properly (don't worry I'm going to go to CAB and the Jobcentre to get proper advice too) then I would be elligble for Income Support and not have to look for work as I'll be a lone parent.

Oh gosh I'm waffling......what I'm trying to say is

AIBU to be thinking of claiming benefits for the next couple of years and then finding work once DS3 goes off to school or nursery???

(of course I could change my mind, find a fantastic job a couple of months down the line and go back to work anyhow)

I suspect, techinically they could be pedantic and count them... just dont declare it. It is something that can never be found, or proved at all. it would just be a dad, buying clothes for his child.

I only made the comment about feeling strong, as I was so shocked by how talking to them made me feel, like it was such a final thing etc... I had not anticipated the strength of those feelings and could hardly get across all the information.
The woman I spike with was SO kind, so patient. She said she could call me back in an hour, or if I wanted to get some water, she would hold on the phone! I was amazed. She was also very helpful, I told her everything, including stuff she really didn't need to know, about how his ex had caused most of our problems by the way she treated him, having a knock on emotional effect to us now, and that was why i was ringing her! I was so embarrassed by the end! She wished me lots of luck and said it sounded like things wern't over yet! she was right

About the detrimental bit, I felt it would be emotionally detrimental. I only had to give a really brief explanation, and basically said I felt that he woud resent me for contacting them, and he would then not see his daughter when with me etc. She just documented it, and said that was ok. mybe i had an understanding advisor? maybe not, but worth asking them and trying surely?