to be considering living on benefits until DS3 starts nursery or school.......

[FAQ]

when DH split up.

I've never claimed any benefits (apart from TC and CB) but am now facing the reality of having to do so. I don't feel bad/guilty etc about that - it's life - even if I find a job with childcare factored in I'm still not going to be earning enough to be able to live without claiming. I've always sort of sat on the fence with regards to people living on benefits that could be working.

However part of me is thinking - DS3 starts nursery in 2 1/2yrs time, school in 3 1/2yrs time. If I've read all the information properly (don't worry I'm going to go to CAB and the Jobcentre to get proper advice too) then I would be elligble for Income Support and not have to look for work as I'll be a lone parent.

Oh gosh I'm waffling......what I'm trying to say is

AIBU to be thinking of claiming benefits for the next couple of years and then finding work once DS3 goes off to school or nursery???

(of course I could change my mind, find a fantastic job a couple of months down the line and go back to work anyhow)

thanks everyone - just been thinking about how suddenly I'd be one of those "scroungers" that most people (those on benefits and those not) talk about...

I know in my heart it would be the best thing for the DS's when we split up rather than suddenly finding themselves with me and H split up and then being thrown into childcare too...

Don't be daft. You're doing the best you can and you're quite right about concentrating on your DSs during the break-up.

thank MLM

do you and your ex still get on ok?

if so maybe you could agree an amount between you for him to pay that is affordable to him and enough for you

he's not quite my ex yet - still living together (so yes we still get on ok)

Just been looking at the CSA website and it says if you're claiming Income Support then you MUST use the CSA

ah right, i don't know an awful lot i'm afraid but i'm sure others will

If you still get on ok, why are you breaking up, my lovely?
Could it not just be a really rough patch? Been there, got the T-shirt, almost left, realised I was being a dumbass, begged him to try again, got married, had baby..............all over a 5 year period....

Want to talk about it? Don't have to, but it sounds as though you have a lot going for you. Trial separation? Sometimes it feels over but it's actually not. Only time can show you.

Fio - the house is in DH's name and there's be no discussion of selling it anytime in the forseeable future......would that still affect it.

Mind you even if we sold it today and split the equity equally between us I'd probably end up with about £6k - actually probably nothing thinking about it as I'm sure the "big" loan (also in DH's name) is secured on the house so that would have to paid off.

We still get on ok on the surface - but underneath all the problems that blew up last year (when we nearly split up - I'd already paid a deposit on a house to rent) are still there simmering away.

He's refusing to even consider Relate or similar, and I can't continue living together as things are in general. I'm hoping it's a trial separation but he's determined it's permanent.

Last year I wasn't really convinced it was over - this time I am......yes we're still friends, but living together as a couple just isn't going to work anymore as thing are now.

I'm sorry. I'm sure the future will be brighter xx

Yes loan is in DH's name alone - but if the house was sold then the loan would have to be paid off with the equity (just been nosing through he paperwork and it's definitely secured on the house). So say H sold the house today (agreeing to split the equity), bank would first take the balance of the loan leaving erm.............ooo - leaving H with a 4k shortfall and no equity to split at all!

I am the benefits peoples ( well, not all of them..) equity from a house sale is discounted as long as you will be using it with the intention of using it to (obviously part) purchase a new home. this is for 26 weeks, or however long the decision maker thinks is reasonable. Under £6K wouldn't affect your benefits anyway, but each part of £250 over £6k deducts £1 a week from your applicable amount. so £6001 would be £1 a week, £6504 would = £3 a week less IYSWIM

at the moment you do have to involve the CSA if you claim income support/jobseekers. the law changes in october. Personal arrangements are nmot taken into account by the CSA if they are made after 2003.
maintenance is deducted £ for £ after £10 - so you 'keep' £10 of it. This is going to increase as well to ( i think) £20 in october. ( i need to check that..)

ooh, sorry - your primary place of residence is discounted for IS/JSA purposes, even if there is lots of equity. after nine months you may qualify for help with mortgage payments if you and Dcs stay in the marital home. feel free to ask for any clarification FAQ.

FAQ: get some good advice and do what you need to do. BTW, congrats on getting away from the abusive tosspot, thinkgs can only get better.

don't think H has any plans to sell the house in the immediate future (well I hope he doesn't as I'm still sort of hoping that this will only be a temporary split lol).

I'm 99% certain that I'm not an "owner" of the house(ie not named on the deeds - could be wrong about that though)........not too worried about if he should decide to sell in the future, but am concerned about what impact the fact that I may (or probably not) be named on the deeds has on my benefits......

sorry PS - I don't quite understand your 13.28 post about IS/JSA and primary residence

ok. the house that you live in is a primary residence - any subsequent houses that you own at the same time ( i know, i wish!) are second(ary) properties. secondary properties can be treated as capital in some circumstances and may affect your benefit (anything over 6k affects your benefit - anything over 16k (again, yes please!) disentitles you completely.

primary residences and any money caught up in that primary residence ( i see you've posted there isn't any, so don't worry) are discounted for IS/JSA purposes - so you could live in a mansion, mortgage free and still claim - it wouldn't affect your claim. people aren't expected to sell their houses and live in social housing just because they claim IS/JSA.

does that help? or have i dug a deeper hole? are you hoping to stay in (ex)marital home with DPs until they have finished schooling etc? if so, then the house is discounted for benefit purposes.

think you've dug me a deeper hole LOL.

I'm planning on moving out in the next few months with the DS's wanting to rent somewhere..

So our (ex)-marital house would be counted as assets?? Would that be the case even if I'm not actually an owner of the property (ie not named on the deeds?).

I haven't factored in any maintenance in any of my costs things yet. Workly purely on IS/CTC/CB etc.