To refuse to feed neighbours' pets again

[MarySmit]

I have done this as a favour to various neighbours, yet feel rather taken advantage. No payment is requested or given, but I have been surprised at the lack of gratitude. I have been told it is only a cat, only to find a menagerie of animals with complicated and time consuming instructions. When I arrived to collect keys I was told the timing wasn't convenient and to come back. When they return back: nothing, not even a thank you card. I have had this before with another neighbour, who after visiting their cat 3 times a day for a week, couldn't even be bothered to collect their keys.

I have also been faced with filthy houses. I don't expect them to be spotless, but I am surprised people would leave dirty dishes out and food splashed on the wall, maggots in food bowls, when they know they have someone coming over to feed pets.

For context, they have never returned the favour. If they had engaged a service to feed the pets, the cost would have been at least £10 per visit.

I have fed pets for various neighbours and never had anything like that.
Dont blame you for refusing to do it again

I don't think anyone normal leaves maggots in bowls - that requires weeks/ months of neglect and if an animal is living in those circumstances you should report it to the RSPCA, as it is unlikely to be properly cared for.

But no, just say you can't commit to feeding them. It doesn't need to be built up into a big thing.

Are you actually questioning yourself if you're being unreasonable? Of course you should refuse. A simple "Sorry, won't be able to watch your pets" is all you have to say.

Just say you aren't available next time they ask, and the next, and the next. They will get the message.

YANBU. I had a neighbour who assumed we would become a free pet sitting service. I just started saying no, she soon got the hint.

Just say something like 'unfortunately due to family commitments I can't take on your cats as well'.

Just say no. If I turned up to what I was told was a single animal and there was a lot, I'd simply message saying it's not what we agreed and let them sort it out.

I guess I'm a people pleaser, but I just wanted to confirm this isn't normal. It's usual to at least give a token of appreciation right?

I won't feed other people's pets unless it's 1) just for a day or two, 2) a genuine emergency situation or 3) a reciprocal arrangement.
Pet owners should include the cost of pet care in their holiday budgets not assume neighbours will step up for free on a regular basis. It's all part of being a responsible pet owner .... and considerate neighbour.

YANBU.

I wouldn't be doing it again. Ever.

A firm sorry not available would be my answer at any other requests

They sound rude and thoughtless. My neighbour pet sits for me when I go away but my pet goes to their home (neighbour prefers that), I provide all their food and always get my neighbour thank you gifts (as well as offering to pay them cash, and also look after their pets when they go away). That's just politeness surely?

Neighbours used to do this to me. Now, I feed pets for neighbours and expect £10 - £15 a day for it, which is nothing, but covers the inconvenience of having to be on the spot twice a day and for the petrol. There are pet-sitting and visiting services everywhere now which charge a lot more than that. - your neighbours are abusing your kindness. Next time they ask you to feed their pets for a weekend, you could say, "I could do - that will be £40 - is that okay?" They will go quiet for a bit then say yes. If they say no, just say "I'm sorry, then I can't help you" and walk away.

I can't get over the cheek of them asking you to come back to collect the keys as it wasn't convenient. As if you aren't doing them a massive favour! I'd have told them I wasn't going to bother now or, if I was feeling generous, said to just bring them over to me.

Did you message them stating you were told it was only a cat, so why are there lots of other animals there?

Definitely don't do them any more favours. They sound entitled. I hope you didn't clean their rotten dishes while you were there.

No I didn't touch the filthy dishes. Not my responsibility. I did say I wouldn't come back again, but the cheek of it, like you said. If it was a paid service it would be different, but to find being treated like this when it is a favour really takes the biscuit.

I'm absolutely shocked reading that!
My neighbour is lovely and happy to help look after our cats whilst we're away. She looked after them for 14 nights last year (& I offered to split it with a pet sitter so she didn't have to do the whole lots as I felt cheeky asking) and we left her a bottle of gin, chocolate and a little something for her dog. When we came home we also gave her a thank you card with an gift voucher inside.

She's looking after them again soon but only for 4 night but I'll still be getting her a thank you as she's doing us a huge favour, and saving us a lot of money too!

I wouldn’t dream of treating the woman who looks after my cat when I’m away like this and I pay her! Be nice, be thankful, leave the house and pet bowls clean, give clear instructions and leave no surprises. That’s what is normal, whether it’s a paid service or a favour.

This is madness - of course say no! And agree with pp that dishes with maggots is really awful.

We have a cat and our neighbour comes in twice a day when we are away - she feeds her and plays with her, lets her out etc. I always get her flowers/wine/chocolates to say thanks.

I pet sit for a different neighbour who has a dog and a cat and often walk the dog at random times if she has to go away for a day or something. I don’t actually expect/want anything but always get a bottle of wine or some nice biscuits.

We’re all good at parcels, bins etc for one another too, but no-one takes the piss.

When I go away I pay the 15 year old girl next door a fiver a day for feeding the cats. It’s usually around 10 days so I give her 50 quid when I get home. My mum does the same with her neighbours. People are taking this piss out of you by not paying.

I don't understand why you keep doing this.

Not necessarily but at least you should get some gratitude

You are being taken for a mug OP. Why are you allowing others to treat you so badly?

My friend’s teenage son (17) comes and feeds the cats and looks after the chickens when we go away. I usually pay the lad at least £10 a day and round it up. When we were away for 10 days (longest time away), I paid him £150. We also brought him and his family chocolates etc. on our return.

It's the first time with these neighbours. The other time was with another one. I was fully prepared to say no to the previous piss takers, but I think I now need a blanket no policy to these requests. It's seems pretty universal that to expect pet looking after for a week and not showing any appreciation is mightily taking the Mick. I was starting to doubt myself.

I have fed pets for neighbours and always been brought back gifts - and sometimes paid. Your neighbours need to make other arrangements next time.

A good friend asked me to feed her cats. I said yes and she said to come over and collect the keys and she would show me where everything wad and give me the instructions about wet food, dry food, bowls, treats etc etc.
she wanted the cats fed twice a day, at 7am and 6 pm. She is five miles from me, so that would be 20 miles a day. I fed them once a day but didn’t tell her. Cats survived just fine.
when she returned she asked when I would be passing to drop her key back. I said I wouldn’t be going that way as my weekly yoga class was finished. She wasn’t very happy. It took her a week to call round for the keys. I got no small gift in thanks.?