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Original poster

To refuse to feed neighbours' pets again

110 replies

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 14:42

I have done this as a favour to various neighbours, yet feel rather taken advantage. No payment is requested or given, but I have been surprised at the lack of gratitude. I have been told it is only a cat, only to find a menagerie of animals with complicated and time consuming instructions. When I arrived to collect keys I was told the timing wasn't convenient and to come back. When they return back: nothing, not even a thank you card. I have had this before with another neighbour, who after visiting their cat 3 times a day for a week, couldn't even be bothered to collect their keys.

I have also been faced with filthy houses. I don't expect them to be spotless, but I am surprised people would leave dirty dishes out and food splashed on the wall, maggots in food bowls, when they know they have someone coming over to feed pets.

For context, they have never returned the favour. If they had engaged a service to feed the pets, the cost would have been at least £10 per visit.

OP posts:
cinnamonfrenchtoast · 01/08/2023 16:02

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 15:28

It's the first time with these neighbours. The other time was with another one. I was fully prepared to say no to the previous piss takers, but I think I now need a blanket no policy to these requests. It's seems pretty universal that to expect pet looking after for a week and not showing any appreciation is mightily taking the Mick. I was starting to doubt myself.

Show quote history

I more meant that I don't understand why you keep saying yes to these requests for free pet care in the first place.

If they want care for their pets then they need to pay for a pet-sitter.

1small4cats · 01/08/2023 16:02

I wonder if we have the same neighbor!! I hadn’t spoken to her in months and she asked me to feed her cat which I did, filthy house, didn’t leave enough food so I had to buy some out of my own pocket, and when she got back not even a thank you! She didn’t speak to me after that and asked again a few months later and I politely declined!

RinklyRomaine · 01/08/2023 16:03

My ex neighbours daughter does it for us for money. I honestly wouldn't say it's neglect for months. Cat food can get fly blown in an hour in hot weather. I leave the house nice, a friendly note, overflowing (clean litter!) trays and dry food, plus paper plates which she bins and redoes to avoid cleaning dirty dishes or leaving food to go hard or maggoty.

We pay well and I always bring them back gifts. She loves our kitties and enjoys the chance to play house for a few hours and have cuddles. I'm even more grateful than I was before reading this!

cockeyedoptimist · 01/08/2023 16:04

fellow people please here ! Im just about to start a week of feeding a friend's cat . 10 mins drive away ( so 40mins travelling each day .
But this is also added to other friends who have asked , 'As you're on summer holiday from school could you just... water the kids / pick up the cat / babysit the plants / feed the post . 😂
Each request by itself isn't too bad , but when they're all added together it mounts up

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 01/08/2023 16:04

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/08/2023 14:47

I don't think anyone normal leaves maggots in bowls - that requires weeks/ months of neglect and if an animal is living in those circumstances you should report it to the RSPCA, as it is unlikely to be properly cared for.

But no, just say you can't commit to feeding them. It doesn't need to be built up into a big thing.

It takes 24 hours (or less) in warm weather for maggots to develop on warm meat - it's not necessarily a sign of neglect.

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 01/08/2023 16:07

A 'friend' of mine wanted to go away with family for 10 days-she asked if I've have him at my house-i said yes and booked the time off work

She dropped her untrained dog off,no food bowls,no food,no lead,no poo bags-nothing-just the dog

I had to buy some food and bags,use my sons dog bowl and an old lead he'd bought for his dog but never used

He was a nightmare to walk,feed and was just naughty as he's never been trained and is allowed to do what he wants,when he wants to do it

He pulled up plants in my garden,ate my wooden border,trashed my sofa,pulled down my blinds-twice, shat in my bathroom,pissed everywhere and kept raiding both my kitchen and bathroom bins

She came back home and rang to tell me to drop him off on my way to work the following morning

We pulled up in the car,5 minutes early,to be greated with a grunt,told we where late as she'd been hanging around for half an hour and a demand to get the dog-to which she grabbed him and walked off

No present,no thank you,no offer of money,no money to replace what hed destroyed-nothing

She did get in touch to tell me a few weeks later that she wanted to go back on holiday and we'd be having him again

Oddly,every date she's come up with,we are busy that week...

Take me for a mug once-youll never do it again

ChocolateCinderToffee · 01/08/2023 16:12

I pay my cat sitter £15 a day! Re maggots in bowls, I had this experience when a friend was feeding my cat and it only takes 48 hours for a maggot situation to develop. Still, no you shouldn’t have to deal with it though.

RotundRuby · 01/08/2023 16:13

This is madness. Even though I have a reciprocal arrangement with one of my neighbours I still will usually buy her a gift (Charlotte Tilbury Lipstick last time as I know she likes it and some booze from our visit). We each will stock the other with bread, milk and and a few essentials if we've been away for longer than a week too.

Roussette · 01/08/2023 16:13

Blimey, we use to take one goldfish round to a neighbour to feed once a day, and bought local gifts from on holiday and bottles of gin!

gemstoneju · 01/08/2023 16:14

Those people are the worst, @Mygrandadwasmywingman. Had similar experience with someone's dog. A nice little dog but my god, totally unhousebroken! If she went outside at all it was more by happy accident than training! Why do people do this to others? She did pay my kids £30 but unfortunately it wasn't quite enough to replace the stair carpet which was stained with dog urine.

Melroses · 01/08/2023 16:20

I have stopped doing it since someone's cat went missing.

They were very understanding and have never held it against me, but it will haunt me forever.

Patchworksack · 01/08/2023 16:23

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 01/08/2023 16:07

A 'friend' of mine wanted to go away with family for 10 days-she asked if I've have him at my house-i said yes and booked the time off work

She dropped her untrained dog off,no food bowls,no food,no lead,no poo bags-nothing-just the dog

I had to buy some food and bags,use my sons dog bowl and an old lead he'd bought for his dog but never used

He was a nightmare to walk,feed and was just naughty as he's never been trained and is allowed to do what he wants,when he wants to do it

He pulled up plants in my garden,ate my wooden border,trashed my sofa,pulled down my blinds-twice, shat in my bathroom,pissed everywhere and kept raiding both my kitchen and bathroom bins

She came back home and rang to tell me to drop him off on my way to work the following morning

We pulled up in the car,5 minutes early,to be greated with a grunt,told we where late as she'd been hanging around for half an hour and a demand to get the dog-to which she grabbed him and walked off

No present,no thank you,no offer of money,no money to replace what hed destroyed-nothing

She did get in touch to tell me a few weeks later that she wanted to go back on holiday and we'd be having him again

Oddly,every date she's come up with,we are busy that week...

Take me for a mug once-youll never do it again

You lost me at ‘I took the time off work’. Why on Earth would you use your annual leave to look after some CFs pet????

TenderDandelions · 01/08/2023 16:24

We usually use a pet sitter that comes in. It's £12.50 per visit during the week and £20 per visit at the weekend. We alternate between one visit one day and two visits the next, to keep the costs down. A 2 week holiday just cost us nearly £290.

We did have a relative come and pet sit for us a few months ago when we went away for a long weekend. We'd asked him if he would do it, knowing he probably would as it would be the perfect opportunity to have a weekend away from his own parents that he still lives with.

We made sure we bought him a gift while we were away and, as he was staying in the house, left him food and told him to help himself to anything, including the drinks cupboard.

I wouldn't dream of not being grateful to someone that's a) just saved me at least £100 in a pet sitter's cost; and b) has actually been around to keep my pets company.

I would be saying "no, sorry, I can't do it" next time if I was you OP. Something tells me they're not the types you would expect to be able to trust to return the favour either. CFs!

MakkaPakkasMuvva · 01/08/2023 16:26

I agreed to feed a neighbours cat only to be greeted on the first day by the ex boyfriend who had broken into the house and changed the locks! I then got treated to a rant about how neighbour was an unfit mother, he'd contacted social services and he was now going to live in the house and raise the children.

No good deed goes unpunished and all that.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 01/08/2023 16:26

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 01/08/2023 16:07

A 'friend' of mine wanted to go away with family for 10 days-she asked if I've have him at my house-i said yes and booked the time off work

She dropped her untrained dog off,no food bowls,no food,no lead,no poo bags-nothing-just the dog

I had to buy some food and bags,use my sons dog bowl and an old lead he'd bought for his dog but never used

He was a nightmare to walk,feed and was just naughty as he's never been trained and is allowed to do what he wants,when he wants to do it

He pulled up plants in my garden,ate my wooden border,trashed my sofa,pulled down my blinds-twice, shat in my bathroom,pissed everywhere and kept raiding both my kitchen and bathroom bins

She came back home and rang to tell me to drop him off on my way to work the following morning

We pulled up in the car,5 minutes early,to be greated with a grunt,told we where late as she'd been hanging around for half an hour and a demand to get the dog-to which she grabbed him and walked off

No present,no thank you,no offer of money,no money to replace what hed destroyed-nothing

She did get in touch to tell me a few weeks later that she wanted to go back on holiday and we'd be having him again

Oddly,every date she's come up with,we are busy that week...

Take me for a mug once-youll never do it again

....

What on earth possessed you to use 10 days of annual leave to look after someone else's dog in the first place?

SilkyMint · 01/08/2023 16:27

YANBU

I've done it a few times happily for local friends and it's a big ask, for someone to take the time out of their day to go over a couple times each day, sort out feeding, litter trays, making sure they're okay. It's not a small thing being responsible for someone's much-loved animal's health and wellbeing.

I wouldn't do it a second time for anyone who wasn't grateful, though. I've had sincere thank-you texts, treats brought back etc., never expect anything material but I think it's normal to expect a genuine 'thanks for doing this'. If someone didn't even say thanks I certainly would never do it again.

And if someone's house had maggots? No, I certainly wouldn't be doing it again! And I'd be messaging while they were away to warn them maggots had developed since their departure (giving them an out) and depending on the extent of pests would consider not returning. You usually won't be the only person available to help, just the one they know won't say no. And if they can afford to go away they can afford a cattery or kennels or house-sitter frankly.

Tessabelle74 · 01/08/2023 16:31

YANBU to be annoyed
YABU to keep doing favours for people who take the pi$$
Just stop doing it

Original poster
MarySmit · 01/08/2023 16:43

Tessabelle74 · 01/08/2023 16:31

YANBU to be annoyed
YABU to keep doing favours for people who take the pi$$
Just stop doing it

I haven't kept on doing it, it's been different people. I had no idea they would be like this. It definitely won't happen again, and I think a blanket no is in order now. I wanted to confirm this was not the norm. To be fair, I had another neighbour give me a couple of bottles of prosecco as a gift in return when I fed hers. It's not everyone, but there are definitely some unbelievable cheeky feckers. I couldn't imagine expecting someone to feed my animal for a week and not saying thank you and bringing a nice gift back.

OP posts:
DahliaMacNamara · 01/08/2023 16:47

Oh, I've been had like this too. Looking after someone's dog in my own home. I like dogs, but you know what else I like? Not being tied to the house throughout their holiday, staying in bed instead of getting up early for walkies, not paying for petrol to take them for nicer walks, etc, etc. Also I like wine, chocolates, flowers, or even a bloody thank you card, instead of them imagining they've done me a favour by letting me look after their nice but needy pet. Cheeky fuckers. Already declined their most recent request, much to their bemusement.

Lottaflowers · 01/08/2023 16:47

I always used to bake a cake or get some kind of equivalent gift for anyone who fed my cats for a few days while I was away. Sounds like your neighbours are really rude and I wouldn't help them again. The maggots thing sounds gross!
Only time I didn't give a token gift or say thanks was when I arrived home to find the litter tray overflowing and their water bowl bone dry (their water bowl had never run dry in all the time I had the cats). Didn't speak to that neighbour at all after that and never asked them to help again. And to be honest, I didn't even really ask them. They were so enamoured with my cats that they would ask me repeatedly if they could look after them if I ever went away. So I said yes and then they basically neglected the cats!

flipent · 01/08/2023 16:51

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/08/2023 14:47

I don't think anyone normal leaves maggots in bowls - that requires weeks/ months of neglect and if an animal is living in those circumstances you should report it to the RSPCA, as it is unlikely to be properly cared for.

But no, just say you can't commit to feeding them. It doesn't need to be built up into a big thing.

Would only say that at this time of year, if I don't clean my cat's bowl several times ago it wouldn't take long at all for maggots to appear, a couple of days - not weeks or months.
But I do agree that it is not a good sign of suitable care.

Hobbesmanc · 01/08/2023 16:52

You'd be shocked how quickly maggots appear in wet food in hot weather. Gross

We are blessed with a wonderful cat sitter. If it's a weekend we leave them money for a takeaway and booze as they often stay over. And always bring a treat back. For holidays we leave around ten pounds a day for Petrol and their time

tsmainsqueeze · 01/08/2023 17:00

I cat sit so am fully aware of all it entails and the responsibility .
I am appalled at how bad mannered some people can be you would be a mug to do this again , very silly people to treat you so badly .
My clients are lovely , they treat me well because they know they can rely on me and most of all they know i genuinely love their pets.
Good luck to them finding someone else .

Salome61 · 01/08/2023 17:01

I was only telling my son about this the other day. Our neighbours had ducks and chickens and started asking me to look after them quite a lot whilst they went away to their holiday home in Spain.

I didn't mind so much in the warmer weather, but one very snowy Christmas in 2010 I was trying to make a hole in their pond for the ducks and just thought fuck this, it's ridiculous. They never gave me anything as a thank you and on this last Christmas I did it, not even a Christmas card. Just users, pushing their luck as far as it would go.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 01/08/2023 17:03

YANBU.
Worst I've had was looking after neighbours dog who had got into the bin and chewed and scattered neighbours used sanitary pads around the downstairs of the house. 😧

Another neighbour - I took her dog in for a week for free. She then set up a dog sitting business. When I asked her to have my dog in return she said no. I then said I was prepared to pay her as she did it for her work, but she still said no. She just didn't want to do it. I didn't offer to help her again.