To refuse to feed neighbours' pets again

[MarySmit]

I have done this as a favour to various neighbours, yet feel rather taken advantage. No payment is requested or given, but I have been surprised at the lack of gratitude. I have been told it is only a cat, only to find a menagerie of animals with complicated and time consuming instructions. When I arrived to collect keys I was told the timing wasn't convenient and to come back. When they return back: nothing, not even a thank you card. I have had this before with another neighbour, who after visiting their cat 3 times a day for a week, couldn't even be bothered to collect their keys.

I have also been faced with filthy houses. I don't expect them to be spotless, but I am surprised people would leave dirty dishes out and food splashed on the wall, maggots in food bowls, when they know they have someone coming over to feed pets.

For context, they have never returned the favour. If they had engaged a service to feed the pets, the cost would have been at least £10 per visit.

Just say “It’s so busy at the mo, I won’t be free to commit to doing that. Hope you have a lovely holiday”

End of message. If you’re pushed, say “it’s too much, I won’t be able to do it” and repeat and repeat.

Don’t be a walkover. There are plenty of CFs who will take advantage.

I am always extremely grateful to neighbours who agree to feed our cats when we are away. I always bring back a gift plus bottle of wine/ flowers. If you don't want to do it say no. They sound like they are taking the mick.

Nor do I

Don't bother doing it again op. I pay my friend £50 per day to feed my cats and dog, then upon our return we give him some quality chocolate and coffee (his favourite things) as well as a card. I don't think your neighbours have any manners at all.

@ClaudiaWankleman maggots is not an indication of long term neglect or abuse if its on plates of food, you can get maggots that way within about 72 hours. Its still fucked up though.

Of course it's normal to buy a thank you gift - they even sell chocolate and biscuits that say 'thank you for looking after the cat/dog/horse' etc. ! I've always bought presents for anyone who looked after our animals while we were away, and been extremely grateful - I'd be giving them the keys/instructions when it was convenient for them too. I can't believe some of these CF's - gobsmacked at the one who just dropped off the dog without any of his stuff!

My lovely neighbours always feed my cats but I reciprocate with flowers and fresh fruit from my garden. I also regularly check in with them to keep a dialogue going to make sure they’re ok with it all. You are being taken advantage of

When I arrived to collect keys I was told the timing wasn't convenient and to come back
if you act like a doormat people will treat you like a doormat
if that happened to me I'd have said 'OK then' gone away and ignored them for a good long time, long enough for the holiday to have been ruined due to no one being available to look after the pet!

Do not do any of them any favors again as they are all taking advantage of you and asking you to call back again for the key was awful.

Just say sorry am busy cannot do it. Leave it at that and if she starts to go on just say sorry have other commitments. Disgusting maggots would make me gag.
They at the very least should get you a voucher for somewhere and a thank you card.
I know of someone who asked a family member to dog sit and did not even leave dog food, or training mats in the house. Expected the 20 something girl to go over and back letting dog in and out even though she has a toddler. Did not even pay for the food or mats which are not cheap and young mum on a tight budget. Did not buy a gift or voucher or nothing. She is not doing it again as taking the mick out of her. But they paid for an expensive trip for themselves. Some people are just mean and tight as hell and selfish and do not think of others at all. If they can afford to go away let them pay for a dog/cat sitter but they will soon leave as won't put up with the filth animals are in.

and did not even leave dog food, or training mats in the house
I'd have phoned them up and demanded money in my bank account or else I'd not feed the animal

I agreed to pet sit only to find it was more complicated. The rabbit was sick / there was a tortoise upstairs and plants and trees to water.
On their return I was given a fridge magnet and expected to be very grateful. She also told me her children were more intelligent than mine. I truly believe she thought it was very little trouble as I lived over the road and my time was less valuable.

I have fed my best friends cat but she is my very best friend and extremely grateful. She has occasionally walked my dog . We had another friend's dog to stay and it did chew the fence a bit she paid us £60 though so that more than covered the fence paint . I would refuse in future .

Our neighbours got us wine, chocs and a small gift for DC when we looked after their cat. I would do the same.

My neighbour/friend feeds my cat when I go away, and I give her a decent bottle of gin in thanks. It would cost me far more than that if I had to put her in kennels or pay somebody to do it.

My neighbour checked on my cat when I was away, I dropped the keys to her then brought her some lovely French biscuits as a thank you. That's the norm I would say, your neighbours are cfs!

Unbelievable! OP, you're really too obliging for your own good.

We're very lucky with our neighbours in the leafy backwater where we live. One household has a cat which we look after when they're away (although I don't know why we bother because as soon as they leave he virtually moves in with us), and the other three are always happy to help - and have in the past organised a cat sitting rota amongst themselves when we're away and the designated neighbour is having a weekend away.

We always make sure they know how much we appreciate them; OH made a point of quietly sussing out favourite tipples, etc. Quite honestly, the price of a bottle of malt whisky, decent gin, good wine, and additionally something from our holiday is nothing when compared to the cost of putting our three cats in a cattery - and they have the comfort of their own surroundings and freedom to and go as they please.

People pleasers… ugh

Stop snivelling around begging to be liked and then moan when people rip the absolute piss out of you. 🙄

Yabu. Just be normal.

YANBU OP. You have two options..
If you don't mind feeding the pet accept the chore but say,,"I'm more than happy to feed Felix but due to the number of people wanting me to do it now and the time it takes me, I charge £xx a visit. Do you still want me?
( I pay someone £55 a day to look after my dog and cat when I'm away)

If they are grim and you don't want to do it, tell them 'I'm sorry, you can't.

We used to have a reciprocal arrangement with our neighbours and we both still brought back small gifts to say thanks. They sadly moved and now we pay a lovely lady to visit our grumpy cat twice a day when we go away. It’s a professional arrangement and we all know where we stand. Your neighbours need to get on Cat In A Flat and find a local sitter. If they can afford a holiday, they can afford for their pets to be looked after.

It really does not.

At our old house the landlord had installed this shitty fake double glazing (basically a sheet of sealed plastic over the window to create an air tight pocket in the middle). Once again it was fine one day and the next day it was FILLED with giant bluebottles. The buzzing noise was insane you could here it all through the house. They weren't even in the 'house' they where inside the actual window in the air gap. Landloard had to smash the plastic side of the window to get rid of them.

We never figured out how it happened.

But yeah an infestation of flys can appear from nowhere overnight.

But they are still treating you like a mug by keep asking !
I would never have taken time off work etc, but if someone treated me like you was treated, Id be telling them in no uncertain terms what CFs they were and why !! Not avoiding confrontation by making up “busy” excuses !

Every time nieghbours ask just say no. Don't justify it woth reasons just say you can't and leave it at that.

So that its harder for them to justify reasons why.

After all, they are taking advantage of you and they will just have to put their pets in cats homes and boarding kennels like others have to.

Don't let them take advantage of you anymore.

Harsh!

She's already said she won't be helping again.

We pay our family friends / cleaners to feed our cats. Min £30 a day.

This.