Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To refuse to feed neighbours' pets again

110 replies

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 14:42

I have done this as a favour to various neighbours, yet feel rather taken advantage. No payment is requested or given, but I have been surprised at the lack of gratitude. I have been told it is only a cat, only to find a menagerie of animals with complicated and time consuming instructions. When I arrived to collect keys I was told the timing wasn't convenient and to come back. When they return back: nothing, not even a thank you card. I have had this before with another neighbour, who after visiting their cat 3 times a day for a week, couldn't even be bothered to collect their keys.

I have also been faced with filthy houses. I don't expect them to be spotless, but I am surprised people would leave dirty dishes out and food splashed on the wall, maggots in food bowls, when they know they have someone coming over to feed pets.

For context, they have never returned the favour. If they had engaged a service to feed the pets, the cost would have been at least £10 per visit.

OP posts:

DinnaeFashYersel · 01/08/2023 15:32

food splashed on the wall, maggots in food bowls

Who are these people?

TomatoSandwiches · 01/08/2023 15:33

" maggots in bowls of food "

YANBU but there isn't a token of thanks enough for me to agree to this again.
If they ask tell them no, they're filthy pigs and you wouldn't step foot in their house for any god given reason again.
How disgusting.

Twyford · 01/08/2023 15:34

When I arrived to collect keys I was told the timing wasn't convenient and to come back.

I think my response to that would be "No, if you want me to look after your pet I need the keys when it's convenient to me. If you don't want to give them to me, that's fine, you'll just have to make another arrangement for feeding Tiddles".

towriteyoumustlive · 01/08/2023 15:36

It's definitely not normal. I feed a friend/neighbour's cat when she goes away. I go round morning and evening to check the food/water.

It saves her a fortune and I get a bottle of wine and a thank you from it.

SirenSays · 01/08/2023 15:41

Never returned the favour?! I'd do anything to avoid having those maggoty people in my house.

Original poster

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 15:42

Pottedpalm · 01/08/2023 15:30

A good friend asked me to feed her cats. I said yes and she said to come over and collect the keys and she would show me where everything wad and give me the instructions about wet food, dry food, bowls, treats etc etc.
she wanted the cats fed twice a day, at 7am and 6 pm. She is five miles from me, so that would be 20 miles a day. I fed them once a day but didn’t tell her. Cats survived just fine.
when she returned she asked when I would be passing to drop her key back. I said I wouldn’t be going that way as my weekly yoga class was finished. She wasn’t very happy. It took her a week to call round for the keys. I got no small gift in thanks.?

Wow, expecting you to drive that distance every is mightily cheeky. At least for me it was only a neighbour, but their behaviour was still not on.

OP posts:

ComtesseDeSpair · 01/08/2023 15:42

It’s weird that you’ve had repeated issues with several different neighbours, yes. And yes, I’d refuse to feed their pets again. But it’s also weird that you don’t appear to really know the neighbours who are trusting you with their home and pets and who you’re willing to put yourself out for: if I’m close enough with a neighbour to feed their cat, I already know what the inside of their house is like and whether they have a menagerie of other pets.

I’m not fussed about thank-you cards and gifts though, and not coming to collect their keys for ages would strike me as a them problem rather than a you problem tbh. It’s their keys.

Original poster

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 15:43

SirenSays · 01/08/2023 15:41

Never returned the favour?! I'd do anything to avoid having those maggoty people in my house.

Trust me, I'm not going to ask them. I am just saying this for context: it's not a reciprocal arrangement.

OP posts:

MyMiniMetro · 01/08/2023 15:45

Say no from now on. If you want a polite excuse say covid seems to have left you with lung irritation exacerbated by some animal hair types. Nobody can claim otherwise as covid's lasting symptoms can be anything it seems. But it won't work as an excuse with fish 😁

Crunchyb · 01/08/2023 15:46

ClaudiaWankleman
I don't think anyone normal leaves maggots in bowls - that requires weeks/ months of neglect and if an animal is living in those circumstances you should report it to the RSPCA, as it is unlikely to be properly cared for.

It sounds unpleasant but you clearly have no idea of the life cycle of a housefly. It can take less than 24 hours for eggs laid by a housefly to become maggots. If you don’t know, don’t guess! You have access to the internet. You can Google.

Agapornis · 01/08/2023 15:46

I'm a pet sitter (cats + small pets), I always do a meet & greet visit to check whether it's suitable for everyone (humans and pets). I'd reject this work. Then again, people are willing to pay me £12 a visit, so generally value their pets.

gemstoneju · 01/08/2023 15:47

I think you've become the 'that woman down there likes looking after people's pets' person, and word has got around. Yes, they're taking complete advantage. If people think they're getting something for nothing they will take the p. It's human nature. Tell them you're so good at it and love animals so much you've become a professional pet sitter, print out a list of your charges, and see them disappear.

BrightGreenMoonBuggy · 01/08/2023 15:47

Offering either payment if appropriate or buying a thank you gift after are both standard. To offer neither and not even say thanks / be rude about keys / have multiple animals that weren’t part of the agreement is rude to the point of being plain odd.

Never do it again. You definitely need to get out of people-pleaser mode and refuse to do favours for people who treat you like this.

LakieLady · 01/08/2023 15:48

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 15:02

I guess I'm a people pleaser, but I just wanted to confirm this isn't normal. It's usual to at least give a token of appreciation right?

A friend of a friend actually pays me to look after their dog, and brings me wine and flowers or chocolates when they come back, plus stinky cheese if they've been in France.

thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch · 01/08/2023 15:49

I have indoor rescue cats who couldnt cope with catteries, so need them to be looked after in their own home. My mum was going to catsit for me last year then at fairly short notice withdrew her offer. I ended up having to ask some very nice neighbours and it was 6 days morning and evening - short 2 min walk down the road. I left £15 each for their 2 young children, with a handwritten thank you note for each. A bag of Haribos each and for Mum and Dad, a bottle of wine each and a large box of biscuits together with a thank you note. And the cats were as happy as larry! I couldnt imagine not saying thank you. I am currently cat sitting now for another neighbour. It will be 2 weeks in total, but its fine.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 01/08/2023 15:52

I have only been asked to feed my neighours cat once (after his mother died) and he bought me some fudge as a thank you.

Your neigbours sound awful.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 01/08/2023 15:52

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 15:02

I guess I'm a people pleaser, but I just wanted to confirm this isn't normal. It's usual to at least give a token of appreciation right?

I pay 100 a night for a woman who lives in with my dog when I'm on holiday (or did, poor doggie died last month). To give you an idea.

For a drop-in, which I had when I was working in an office, I paid 20 for a half-hour visit middday.

For three visits/day you should be getting at least 50 a day. Even if it's a favour among decent neighbors (which this certainly doesn't sound like) they should be treating you lavishly with thank-you gifts and cash upon your return.

Original poster

MarySmit · 01/08/2023 15:54

I'm glad that people here are so nice to their pet sitters. It's seems like my neighbours are definitely not the norm.

As to saying it's weird that I wouldn't know what their house is like/the number of pets: I was surprised they asked me actually as we aren't close at all. Maybe everyone else refuses now as they are fed up with the piss taking.

I will 100% say no in future. I don't need or want cash for this, but don't deserve to be treated for granted.

OP posts:

WaltzingWaters · 01/08/2023 15:55

No way. Definitely don’t do it again. They sound disgusting, I’m not a clean freak but, yuk! And the cheek of asking you to collect the keys another time!
And yeah, a token gift is a must. A bottle of wine and some chocolate at the very very very least!

DismantledKing · 01/08/2023 15:55

Imagine how quiet MN would be if:
people learnt how to say ‘no’ and stick to it.
people didn’t tie themselves in knots trying to be a people pleaser.
people stopped being martyrs.

There’s so many threads in a similar vein.

NewName122 · 01/08/2023 15:56

When I go away my mum or my sister will feed my cats for me and I always bring them back gifts as a thank you.

Faceplantagain · 01/08/2023 15:58

I feed my neighbour's cat. And in exchange, they water my plants. That's how it normally works - a bit of an exchange of favours. Have you actually asked them if they'd do something for you in return??

80s · 01/08/2023 15:58

When people look after my dog I give them cash, plus maybe chocolates if it's a long time, as I know it's a big ask.
When I moved into my current place I asked my neighbour if she would be able to help out sometimes, quoting the payment, but she said no, which was no problem. She mentioned that she already did it for someone else, if you want to borrow that excuse.

WiddlinDiddlin · 01/08/2023 16:00

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/08/2023 14:47

I don't think anyone normal leaves maggots in bowls - that requires weeks/ months of neglect and if an animal is living in those circumstances you should report it to the RSPCA, as it is unlikely to be properly cared for.

But no, just say you can't commit to feeding them. It doesn't need to be built up into a big thing.

Not necessarily - fed my Dads cats on a monday during the heatwave a few weeks back, came back same time tuesday and the bowl with the meat in (They had licked off the jelly!) had maggots in it. In hot humid weather as we have recently been experiencing, flies can lay eggs that hatch into maggots in 24 hours - 8 to 20 hours in fact, in colder weather more like 12 to 48 hours.

The rest sounds pretty bloody rank though.

I would not offer or agree again and if I had shown up to a house having been told 'just a cat' and found instructions for a menagerie of animals, I would have texted 'fed the cat, assume the care instructions for the other animals are for someone else so have left that for them, didn't want to interfere'... and awaited the panic and drama and ideally, admittance that they'd misled me, and an apology!

(i would actually feed/clean out the other animals of course!).

Why are you letting these people take the piss?

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 01/08/2023 16:01

They are cheeky swines. A few weeks before a trip away, we ask next door if they are happy to call in on our cats once daily, or if they would prefer that we get a sitter. I don't like to put them on the spot and make sure we've plenty of time to make other arrangements. We only started asking them after they saw FIL cat sitting and they insisted they'd be happy to help. I always leave gin and flowers for them to collect on their first visit, as well as bringing something nice back.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5