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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have screamed at my sister about Butlins?

226 replies

RedCoatPhobia · 01/08/2023 09:38

Fucking Butlins. Just the name makes me angry.

When we were kids the family (our mum, our aunties and our cousins) would book a yearly holiday to Butlins. We loved it when we were little but as we got older it became a horrible fucking chore. The adults would force us to join “clubs” so that they could have grown up time away from them and most of us hated these clubs. We were forced to watch the babyish entertainment on a night, forced to do sports etc etc - this was the 80s. It was horrible, nobody enjoyed it, the adults usually ended up arguining, the kids were miserable yet they would book it year after year as if it was compulsory. When we were in secondary school one by one the cousins started refusing to go - I first refused to go when I was 14 and then had my auntie shouting at me that I was ruining it for everyone. Then my sister refused to go … by the time I was 15 the Butlins nightmare was thankfully a thing of the past.

Anyway! My sister has 2 children and started booking Butlins every year when her eldest was 3, youngest 1. This has been a yearly thing for the past 8 years. Every single year she starts complaining as soon as she books it “it’s so expensive!” Then when she gets back “it was crap! The chalet was mucky, the entertainment was shit, the kids didn’t want to do anything, the weather was awful “ etc etc

Shes booked again this year and goes at the end of this week. I saw her yesterday and she was complaining that the kids were not grateful, the weather looks to be shit, husband is moaning … “ I ended up screaming at her!! Why the fuck does she book it every year?? Why the fuck did our parents book it every year?? It’s madness! It’s not fucking compulsory to go to Butlins every year!! So she snapped back and said “rather go to Butlins than fucking Northumberland” having a dig at our holiday plans but I don’t book it every year and then complain constantly do I???

OP posts:
LittleMonks11 · 01/08/2023 20:22

I think you have Butlins PTSD and your sister has Butlins Stockholm Syndrome. Poor you both.

My solution is to organise a Butlins free holiday together and exorcise those demons.

Northumberland is absolutely beautiful. Went for the first time last year and was blown away (almost literally from Bamburgh Castle).

RoyalImpatience · 01/08/2023 20:34

Sorry I was distracted as in.. It could have been a very bad one off, the fleas etc. But it's the way they handled it.

Hufflemuff · 01/08/2023 20:41

Did you actually scream!? I think you need to think about how you talk to people.

abyssinianrosette · 01/08/2023 20:46

I saw this thread title this morning (wasn't able to reply then) and my first thought was is this the new Sistine chapel?

In all seriousness, OP, I can't blame you for not liking Butlins and I'm sorry your childhood holidays were so awful. Maybe her children don't feel the same way though? I expect they aren't being forced to take part in things they don't want to.

HardieHa · 01/08/2023 20:47

I went to Butlins once on one of those Sun £9.50 holidays. I think it cost £90 for the weekend once we'd paid all the extras. It was ok for that price although the accommodation wasn't very nice. I wouldn't bother going again. Doing that every year sounds depressing!

HerMammy · 01/08/2023 20:50

Have you informed her other holidays are available?

GentlemanJay · 01/08/2023 21:00

My ex father in law used to buy fish and chips every Saturday lunchtime. Each week he grumbled about them. He returned to the same fish and chip shop each week. Lol.

GentlemanJay · 01/08/2023 21:03

This is nothing to do with Butlins. It's do do with your frustration at your sister making the same mistake over and over again.

Quite frankly it's nothing to do with you where she goes. It's not life or death bad decision making.

Vitriolinsanity · 01/08/2023 22:53

I bloody loved Butlins as a kid. Minehead 1980. We clipped the coupon off the back of the Christmas Radio Times.

Appreciate that I've missed the point.

EllaPaella · 02/08/2023 00:03

OP your family (mum, aunties) sound awful.
You need to get some therapy and you need to learn to change the way you react to stressful situations - clearly shouting and screaming is what you've learned from your parents. Your kids deserve better from their Mother so get help to break the cycle.
Butlins versus Northumberland is irrelevant.

Downunderduchess · 02/08/2023 08:55

YallaYallaaa · 01/08/2023 09:40

I’d raise an eyebrow at someone doing something they clearly didn’t like, but screaming at her makes you sound unhinged.

I think the sister sounds like the unhinged one, booking something she already knows she doesn’t enjoy & then moaning about it, absolutely pointless.

thatsnotmylifeitstoocrazy · 02/08/2023 09:00

You lost me at screaming at someone

RoyalImpatience · 02/08/2023 09:04

@abyssinianrosette

😂Screaming😂Screaming at the beauty of butlins

Helendee · 02/08/2023 09:11

Fwiw, Butlins at Minehead was fantastic during the Seventies, not so these days sadly.
I fondly remember the monorail, chair lift, massive fountain and pedals… so much to do.

Helendee · 02/08/2023 09:11

Pedalos

SingingFaLaLa · 02/08/2023 09:36

I can't get my head around how anyone can like butlins enough to return year after year.

We went last year to Minehead for the first time and it was...fine. Accommodation was cleanish but decor very bad, chipped woodwork and flaking paint, stained carpet. But I got a cheap deal so wasn't expecting marvels. Plus possibly, just low standards (I call it being easy going) 😂

Entertainment was decent enough, the kids enjoyed the fair and amusements.

But the site itself looks horrendous. It's tacky, rundown, rubbish absolutely everywhere like I've never seen in any other holiday, camping or caravan park (like someone had emptied bin bags on the middle grass verges between the chalets).

And as for all the redcoats stuff...nearly every member of staff we encountered except when actually doing a show was bored and rude. So service doesn't make up for it.

I am VERY easily pleased with food. I'm not fussy and will eat anything I'm given. But the foodcourt food was edible and that's the absolute best thing i can say about it.

The best thing ds3 (6) liked was standing outside the chalet at twilight and counting the rabbits and rats that he spotted on the grass in front of the chalet because there were both in equally high numbers. I think rats won on his tally though.

lastminutewednesday · 02/08/2023 13:36

I mean YAB unreasonable if you actually screamed. It's not like she's forcing you to go with her is it? But I agree with you that she shouldn't moan about it and keep on going if she doesn't love it.
My PIL have gone to the same seaside resort every summer since they were married-so 50 years! FIL has been going since he was a baby. DH and BIL also go yearly. (PIL spend 6 weeks a year there-they were teachers and now retired but have stuck to their holiday habit). I've been a few times and it's nice
enough but there wouldn't be enough to keep me going back time and time again, and this time around I have work so can't. PIL even say they find it dull now, as does DH. And yet they still go year after year. DH has said he will go for a weekend maybe ongoing, but not the whole week. (BIL opted out years ago). My point is just because you have always done something doesn't mean you have to carry on doing it. There is so much more of the world to see. I don't get why people do the same things over and over!

Ellyesse · 02/08/2023 18:59

I would have hated it! I think some people, like your sister, just grow up and replicate their parents’ ways. I know someone who has her hair done the same as her mother - which incidentally is the same as the late Queen. She also does everything in the same way even though she complains about it.

I would tell your sister that the word ‘Butlins’ is banned, you will not discuss it! Ever!

Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 02/08/2023 19:06

I’m not this is really about Butlin’s.

Thisgroupneverceasestoamazeme · 02/08/2023 19:06

*not sure

Random789 · 02/08/2023 19:10

YANBU. Northumberland is lovely and Butlins is shit. Horrible, conflict-ridden, guilt-trippy family holidays are also shit.

Ellyesse · 02/08/2023 19:10

P.S. Mind you, I went to Disneyland/world whatever, as an adult, to keep a friend company because her kids were older and didn’t need close looking after. I just could not stand it! Obviously it wasn’t my cup of tea, as I love remote bare mountains even in the rain, the further away from civilisation the better. Only good thing in Disney was how kind the people were when you bought coffee or asked them for something. I really enjoyed the kindness of the Americans.
Any built environment or fake fun like fairgrounds just make me want to run away as fast as I can. Give me the open countryside without any sign of humans…….

DuchessofSuffolk · 02/08/2023 19:23

LOL!

would have loved to have been a fly on the wall to watch this screaming match.

seriously though, if you did properly scream you sound bat shit. If you just pointed out it was a bit daft then fair play. Her response was equally hilarious tho.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 02/08/2023 19:27

She’s unhinged. Tbf went to Berwick in May and it was best holiday ever lol

Gnomegnomegnome · 02/08/2023 19:29

I’m with you op. It’s forced fun usually surrounded by yobs.