To have screamed at my sister about Butlins?

[RedCoatPhobia]

Fucking Butlins. Just the name makes me angry.

When we were kids the family (our mum, our aunties and our cousins) would book a yearly holiday to Butlins. We loved it when we were little but as we got older it became a horrible fucking chore. The adults would force us to join “clubs” so that they could have grown up time away from them and most of us hated these clubs. We were forced to watch the babyish entertainment on a night, forced to do sports etc etc - this was the 80s. It was horrible, nobody enjoyed it, the adults usually ended up arguining, the kids were miserable yet they would book it year after year as if it was compulsory. When we were in secondary school one by one the cousins started refusing to go - I first refused to go when I was 14 and then had my auntie shouting at me that I was ruining it for everyone. Then my sister refused to go … by the time I was 15 the Butlins nightmare was thankfully a thing of the past.

Anyway! My sister has 2 children and started booking Butlins every year when her eldest was 3, youngest 1. This has been a yearly thing for the past 8 years. Every single year she starts complaining as soon as she books it “it’s so expensive!” Then when she gets back “it was crap! The chalet was mucky, the entertainment was shit, the kids didn’t want to do anything, the weather was awful “ etc etc

Shes booked again this year and goes at the end of this week. I saw her yesterday and she was complaining that the kids were not grateful, the weather looks to be shit, husband is moaning … “ I ended up screaming at her!! Why the fuck does she book it every year?? Why the fuck did our parents book it every year?? It’s madness! It’s not fucking compulsory to go to Butlins every year!! So she snapped back and said “rather go to Butlins than fucking Northumberland” having a dig at our holiday plans but I don’t book it every year and then complain constantly do I???

I can honestly say that I haven't screamed at anyone for around 30 years. In fact, I strongly suspect that a lot of people who claim to scream or to have been screamed at around here are massively exaggerating and actually mean that someone raised their voice a bit. It really takes quite a bit of effort to scream and, more materially, it actually achieves nothing in terms of communicating what you want to communicate.

Some people don’t know what else to do so continue to go to the same place whether they like it or not.

I used to dream of a holiday at Butlins, but never went as we were too poor.

Seems to be a whole lot of screaming and shouting in your family.

Could you all reign it in a bit? I am sure life would be nicer!

I hate Butlins we made the disastrous decision of booking last year we turned up and within 10 mins of being there seeing the filthy room and just the whole place and vibe wasn't for us at all jumped back in the car and drove home never ever will I book Butlins again each to their own but no thanks.

Oh my god OP this all reminds me of my holidays as a child. We never went to Butlins but god those holidays were awful. My mother looks back and thinks we all had great fun

Why are you screaming at people? Perhaps you should pay a visit to the Sistene Chapel....

Why can you just not talk to her without shouting and screaming and losing your rag. I have a sister like this and she shouts at me and loses it a lot and I am not the kind to scream back, I usually will just look at her or walk away as hate any kind of aggression. You could have talked to her in a reasonable way and got your point across. You are in the wrong because of the aggressive tone. This holiday place obviously brings back a lot of bad memories and seems like you have trauma around it, something that you should talk about to someone. I do call my sister out on her behavior now and say would she act like this with anyone else as she knows I will not take it now. You need to talk to your sister and tell her how Butlins brings back awful memories and sorry that you shouted at her and find a way to communicate without going ballistic as not fair on her and also it cannot make you happy either if you lose control. Stop taking your crap out on her as not fair at all. What age are you, talk to someone about your anger and communication.

though Butlins has undergone a lot of changes such as hotel style accommodation rather than the 50s chalets, the basic ingredients are the same. i have always found for me it falls in 2 camps; when you have small kids they have lots of great entertainment all day and early evening plus lots of toddler rides and the sort of food they like such as burgers aka fast food. older kids are bored rigid as are most adults a few fair rides but nothing very exciting. then comes the party age late teens or early 20ish or hen parties etc. when you have the tribute nights or just lots of loud music, get totally off your box on booze but you dont care about the crap daytime entertainment because you spend most the day sleeping off the excess of the night before surface for a fry up and then it all starts again. having grown out of that stage, vaguely recall being wheeled round on a luggage trolley and having a brew with the security guards, I will stick to a caravan at Clarach Bay!

I quite like butlins. I’ve been a couple of times since I’ve had my kids, and they love it there. We stay in a caravan as opposed to a chalet and we’ve never had a problem with the place!

Would quite happily go again

I understand why you didn't like it as a teenager. But she's booking it for younger kids. I loved it when I was ten. Some people get into loops where they think a holiday is a sort of miserable affair with a bit of fun.

But really her business isn't it. You were in the wrong when you screamed at her. It clearly triggered you. However, your parents approach isn't her fault.

My little kids love butlins. I'd never force them to go but tbh I'm happy to go on any holiday that makes my kids smile so while they like it, I will take them.

I get that you hated it but screaming suggests you have issues with emotional regulation. Perhaps address that.

She secretly likes it there that's why but I don't think you should have screamed. I had been two times to skeggy and we loved it, but each time we got bad sickness and diarrhea after and last time we had to leave early as my son got really ill.

Love Butlins. Went about 5 times, mainly to Minehead, between DS being 5 and 15. We went the first time with a bit of trepidation, but thoroughly loved it. The last 3 times we went we had the accommodation with a balcony and daily housekeeping.

DS wanted to go back this year, but they aren't keen on 3 adults, no children.

Noooooo!

Butlins is great. Pontins is dire . I've never met anyone who has gone back to Pontins a second time .

Yanbu Butlins is foul. I'd rather stay at home and I'll never take my kids.

@BrokenByDesireToBeHeavenlySent sightseeing and evening entertainment aren't mutually exclusive! Minehead is in a beautiful part of the country and sunny days always involved some sightseeing - but having something in place for the days that aren't sunny is really useful on a UK holiday . It's also possible to go on more than one holiday a year - you can see new places but also return to those you really like .

Op I've read the e most awful story trim butlins today about a lady with to children, bitten so badly it looked liked chicken pox. Human waste in her bed as well.

Sofa riddled with fleas.

Now obviously this shows standards, cleaning etc is atrocious but... What gets me is that she was offered very little recompense.

Then she was apparently told not to contact then again!

Her child was offered school for days re the blisters and on three types of meds.

Things go wrong (never that baldy) and a companies merit is how they sort you out.

From what I read today they are a disgrace.

That was Minehead butlins BTW the fleas etc

Having a conversation where you raised that she didn’t seem happy about going and neither did the kids, so why was she bothering, would be reasonable. Screaming at her maybe was a tad much (sarcasm)

Our accommodation was always very clean and any issues eg heater not working were always resolved straight away - but - it would have been about 10 years ago when we last went as DS is 22 now - so it's quite possible that standards have gone down and my experiences would be different today .

This! You make yourself sound awful, screaming at your sister.

Chill out and calm down.

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea

Even though her story is awful it's the way they handled it...

No immediate recompense or senior senior person to investigate and formally apologise etc.

They spoke to her like dirt when her child was covered in bites.

Yelling is always unnecessary