To rather not have known? (Job interview related)

[HCA]

Just got a call saying I didn’t get my idea job after what I thought was a good interview, I’m gutted.

But I was told my interview was really good and they really liked me and that I would be a really good fit for their team, but someone scored 0.5 of a mark better than me in the interview questions. So therefore they got the job over me, essentially I am 3rd runner up as there were two posts to fill.

I know the intentions was to make me feel better about not getting the job and the lady was so so nice about it, but I think it has made me feel so much worse and shit knowing it was within reaching distance and I missed out by such a small amount. I feel like a ‘sorry you were nice but it’s a no’ would have been easier to process.

Argh I know it’s not personal rejection but just gutted and feel like crap!

AIBU to feel this way?

I'd think the intention is to encourage you to apply again and keep your eyes out for another position?

Sorry you missed this one. On a personal level, it's going to drive you crazy wondering if that 0.5 was down to this one little thing or that. 😬

@HCA - in the past Dh has gone for jobs and got to final 2 / 3. If you are in that area then you will get a job , just not this one. You have done well & I would take it as an accolade

Take it as a positive - you are clearly appointable, clearly high-calibre and next time a job comes up like this you will be that much more polished in your interview answers. You will be successful at some point.

My DH once went for 5 interviews of increasing friendliness including meeting the team he would be managing.

3 days later he got a “no thanks”.

It happens and there’s no point in dwelling on it. Keep an eye out for other openings in the future if this is the company for you.

This is great feedback! Did they give you anything constructive that you can work on re structure of answers etc? Specific experience or skills that the top 2 candidates had?

YABU

I’d rather know I had a great interview and almost got it, thank thinking I did absolutely awful and I’d never have got it.

Find out how you can improve and then next time it comes up you’ll be in a great position.

My sister recently came a very close second in an interview. Three days later she was offered the job. She thinks something might have come up when references were requested. So don’t give up yet - you might still get this job!

I think your face fits or it doesn't. They know the characters in the team and who will gel better. There is nothing wrong with you as a candidate. Also sometimes everyone is a strong candidate. Also sometimes these strong candidates don't actually work out. It's personal, but it's not personal. Maybe you've had a lucky escape?

I can understand how frustrating that is short term but surely better for them to support your confidence by letting you know how close you were than leaving you thinking you were way off?

YANBU, it happened to me with what I thought was my dream job too. I know it comes from a place of encouragement but all it does is to make you ask "Why not me then?".

Hang in there because I hope what happened to me happens to you. After losing on what I thought was my dream job another one even better came along and it's been nearly 4 hours I've been here and I'm happy. Hang in there, you'll get that job! X

One of the two successful candidates may not take the job or their references may not be good. There is still a chance.

I'm going to say YANBU. I've been on the receiving end of this a few times.

Always being pipped to the post is just so bloody demoralising; as you never get any constructive feedback because the feedback was always "Nothing to add, you were great". Gee thanks. That there always seemed to be someone out there just that little bit better than me really grinded me down.

The role I'm in now, I got sent in as a temp from agency (so no interview) and did a couple of years until they made my role permanent, and although I had to interview then, it was a sure thing. Don't think I've ever come out on top when it came to your standard interview, just landed on my feet in other ways.

It’s disappointing but you never know. I once narrowly missed out on a job I really wanted. Asked the hiring manager for feedback which was constructive and positive overall. He said they’d keep my CV on file. I didn’t have too much hope but a few months later I got a call out of the blue and they did indeed offer me a job as there was another opening on the team!

Don't dwell on it - I've had more jobs, interviews and redundancies than anyone I know. On two occasions, when I had missed out and, like you, was told it was a close run thing - I ended up being offered another job at the place that had interviewed me. One was because the person who they had originally offered the job to had decided to change their mind after accepting the job - I believe they had had another job offer, accepted the first, then was offered the second and so had to turn down the first - the same job that they had edged me out of. Another was because they had had another resignation and needed another person - so they didn't want to re-advertise and reinterview etc - they rang me up and offered me the job. In both these cases the jobs came out of the blue and I accepted both so - it's an unpredictable process - strange things happen. Always be positive if you have any subsequent contact with anyone who has interviewed you - tell they you were genuinely interested in working for them (only if you were of course) - expect the unexpected. I also found that I needed up to 6 interviews to polish up interview technique, answers to difficult questions and to get my nerves under control and my confidence up so IMHO all interviews are good experience and every one brings you one step closer to landing a job.

We had a really good batch of applicants with 3 roles to fill. One girl who i knew would be perfect from application was just so nervous in the beginning which affected her answering questions but smashed it towards end causing her to just to miss out as the other 3 had been stronger throughout.
I ensured she got good feedback and about 2 months later another position came up and we contacted her to ask if she would like the job - she took it and is now doing so well. So pleased she was able to eventually join us.
My point is keep your chin up, you don’t know what is round the corner and they might have you in mind if/when another position comes up.

I agree that the intention was not to disappoint you but to show how close your were and so it would be worth applying again for similar roles.

It was said to encourage you to re-try.

My mum recently interviewed for about 4 roles in the same place. She really wanted to move there. She eventually got one and is very happy in her new role. She was told similar things like 'pipped at the post' and felt they truly meant it.

Take a moment to be disappointed. And then remember you have an independent assurance that you are qualified, represented yourself in an excellent fashion. That is brilliant. Too many people are going interview to interview and not having a good idea if they are coming across clear.

You obviously did extremely well and I fully appreciate there is a cruelty in knowing you were that close. Now imagine sitting in the next interview with that under your belt! It will give you a bit of extra confidence and that will probably swing it for you.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Absolutely they were encouraging you to try again.

Also it might have been a hint for you to stay in touch. People don't accept jobs all the time, or things fall through.

We keep a talent pool for 3 months and if a candidate is appointable but wasn’t the highest scorer, they are automatically offered any suitable posts without us having to advertise. It’s a win win situation.

I agree with PPs who say that there’s always a chance you might get in at a later stage; I have a bit of a history of that myself. Once there was a similar opening in a different department of the organisation to the one I had applied to and they were impressed enough to put me forward and I got the job. Another time I was brought in when a second vacancy came up on the team a couple of months later. The third time, the company were thinking about part-time and I was desperate so I applied and they got back to
me again two or three months later and offered me near full-time hours which quite soon increased to full-time. So don’t give up hope!

Surely it's to encourage you to apply again. Ask what was your weakest scoring questions perhaps

To be honest, so many people are after roles, trying yo cling onto roles (hybrid especially) that when I’ve heard “yeah your interview was really great blah blah blah, apply again” and I do think some companies play games (especially if they have an internal applicant lined up as in my case). Often there’s no constructive feedback and as @Sameold23 says often it’s a character fit and if internal they don’t need to train/induct them or worry if they’ll leave!

In fact one job I did get as an external candidate, my coworker in the team who inducted me had been on holiday when I interviewed so didn’t meet her and the person I replaced had gone elsewhere in the company but was very hands off. I realised that there was also a nightmare lawyer working there who I had to work with and her and another lawyer who’d been very friendly at interview were very different to work with!

I do think if you do hold out hope then you may be offered a role so don’t give up hope. But by then you may have got an even better job.

I’ve been in the position of having to give feedback like this and I wondered at the time if it might not be adding insult to injury. The intention was to be positive though and hope the person would feel confident in future interviews. In my current job we’ve recently turned someone down and a month later a better job came up with a different team and we were able to offer them that so don’t give up hope. Best of luck - job hunting is hard!

Brilliant post

Marblessolveeverything · Today 15:17
Take a moment to be disappointed. And then remember you have an independent assurance that you are qualified, represented yourself in an excellent fashion. That is brilliant. Too many people are going interview to interview and not having a good idea if they are coming across clear.

You obviously did extremely well and I fully appreciate there is a cruelty in knowing you were that close. Now imagine sitting in the next interview with that under your belt! It will give you a bit of extra confidence and that will probably swing it for you.